FCUK Perfume! Tell me about them please?

Hi Posse, FCUK Perfume? Like, What The FCUK? This is a totally weird post but I keep seeing these fabulous bottles with excellent names. They are discounted hard everywhere. Even in Sydney I can buy 100ml of an older FCUK Perfume for AUD$20. Mens and womens seem to be equally cheap and the Fragrance Mist is like AUD$5 for 250ml. We pay that much for a 250ml bottle of water at the train station, seriously! I’m too scared to try them, in case they burn my skin off and castrate my olfactory system.

Have a little look at FragranceNet (no I’m not affiliated). The prices are freaking ridiculous.

Back in the mid 1990s when I lived in London the French Connection brand made some very nice mid price range clothes. Has that all changed? Are they now not nice or can we still buy stuff there that will last quite well and be serviceable? My memory is that they are like Banana Republic or NEXT! Is that wrong?

FCUK Perfume! Tell me about them please?

 

F Woman by French Connection/FCUK

Notes:
Top: Granny Smith apple, Mandarin orange
Heart: Neroli
Base: White cedar, Musk

So this sounds quite good to me. Probably not incredibly ground breaking, so what? FCUK Perfume doesn’t seem to want to change the world, just fragrance them. I like the look of the bottle too. An internalised, lidless spray is always a winner for me. Perfect for gym bags and short jaunts. Also perfect to keep in a handbag for respritzing. For these prices the juice just can’t last very long, eh?

POP! Culture Him by French Connection/FCUK

Notes: Pear, Italian bergamot, Mandarin orange, Ginger, Cardamom, Davana, Amber, Sandalwood, Tonka bean, Patchouli

Fruit, ginger, amber and patchouli? So it read like almost every other 21st century designer mens frag. That green POP! case has me squealing for at least a couple. SO COOL! Will it bite me like a white tailed spider and my skin turn to jelly for easier consumption?

FCUK Rebel Her by French Connection/FCUK

Notes:
Top: Mandarin orange, Pear, Orange blossom
Heart: Rose, Tiaré, Jasmine
Base: Sandalwood, Vanilla, Vetiver

C’MON! This title and the bottle are so fun. FCUK Perfume, you get me every time. I just want to own them ALL. The note list reads like it might be fabulous. Obviously they’ve used the cheapest ingredients of every note but that doesn’t always turn out terribly. Look at Britney Spears, some of hers are totally wearable and they’re basically free too.

Late Night Man by French Connection/FCUK

Notes: Pear, Oakmoss, Fennel, Clove, Pomegranate, Cardamom, Lavender, Patchouli, Tonka bean, Vetiver, Citrus fruits

This is the only note list that reads like an industrial accident to me. Out of the group I’m showing you. Who cares what that smells like? The bottle it comes in is hilarious. That’s exactly what I would expect some skeevy old gruesome grandpa would be buying to feel young and naughty. i bet the college faux playboys thought that was fun too. I’m none of those things (except maybe the sleepy and old) and I’m desperate to have this madness in my collection.

 

BTW March did a Cheap Thrills post not so long ago that deserves a reread.

So please don’t judge me. HELP ME! Can anyone give me some insights into the FCUK Perfume oeuvre? If any of them aren’t terrible I’m going to buy a bunch and gift them to my God Children for Xmas. They’re all teens now and ready for some silly and fun fragrances in their gym bags.

Which ones are OK to buy and which should I run FAR FAR away from.
Portia xx

 

All notes and photos from Parfumo