I Smell, Too.

Well, Musette started it (as is her wont) so I am going forward with it.

As I mentioned in the comments yesterday, I have been noticing in the past few years that I get that “not so fresh” feeling a bit faster than usual. Or maybe I am just noticing it more. I’ve always taken Chlorophyll as a supplement (in gelcap form) but ran out about a year ago and just never re-ordered. It’s supposed to be good for gut health, but the side effect is supposed to be “internal deodorizing” so maybe that has something to do with it- or not. I know there was a fad in the 50’s where they put it in toothpaste and other products that went the way of tail fins and hula-hoops when the efficacy turned out to not be that great. I know that BMs didn’t smell (and were a festive green) so there was that.

In any case, I’ve been seeing all these new ads shaming us into worrying about not only the smell of our pits, but everywhere else. While it’s mostly I believe a semi-scam to get us hyped up enough about out bodily functions that we aggressively spray, cream, or powder our netherlands into submission I will admit that while I don’t worry about 5 O’clock Shadow, I do the 6 O’Clock Stink. Since we men need to use our hands to actually manipulate the main offender when using the bathroom it’s, er, rather more obvious, and one reason I am forever grossed out seeing a man not wash his hands before leaving the bathroom (I once refused to shake someone’s hand for that reason. I’m sorry, if you want me to handle your weenie, ask nicely and buy me a drink first.)

Several people mentioned that they rather like the smell of a fresh. healthy sweat on a man. I can say yeah, not that I have experienced it in this millennium on another human, but sure. I would hope however that he retired to a nice long shower after. In the mean time I am afraid my fantasies are moreĀ  along the lines of Crane than Cartland- a shiny porcelain tub large enough to fully soak my pelt is a more pleasant daydream than any knight in shining armor and the idea of a full on bidet with hot and cold running water and spray function with enough pressure and spread it would make Italian fountain designers jealous (not a spindly little wand attached to the toilet) is a goal.

So what of the products? I’ve tried a few- the latest ones are in the photo. Of the three, I can recommend the Lume cream- it seems to work best, and absorbs and dries fairly quickly after your morning shower. They say you can go 72 hours without a shower and not reek, but nothing short of a coma will keep me from bathing that long. The Lume deodorant is okay- I find it tends to clump up a bit in my unshaven pits and needs to be manually spread around. It won’t replace the regular (and very effective) unscented Mitchum I can pick up at the grocery store for under $6. The Native spray is a bust. I’ve given it a few tries and frankly I am not happy with the results. It contains enough alcohol to make you do a little dance upon application but worse, I don’t get lilac and white tea, I get cheap green apple. Which means after 8 hours or so I get man-stink and Jolly Rancher. Frankly a good splash of Jean Nate is more effective and smells much more pleasant.

So I ordered more Chlorophyll.

So, do you use any of these concoctions? Are we just buying into industry pressure that we need to never smell, ever, except of crisp linens and fresh ocean breezes? Let’s discuss in the comments.

Images: My iPhone, Pexels, and Wikimedia Commons. All items in my photo were purchased by me.

  • Musette says:

    omg! I am SO glad I was alone when I read the ‘Jolly Rancher’ part of your post. I cackled! CACKLED!

    I think this is Marketing 101, driving our fears (which is what marketing does)… but I do admit to using the Native coconut spray – but not on me. I … erm… spray it on the crotch of my yoga pants. Since I use a bidet (even a portable one, which is simply a bottle of water with a squeeze nozzle) on the regular I feel pretty ‘fresh’ but… yoga pants and humanity…

    The rest of it, I don’t bother with (except pits but I tend to not sweat so a regular deodorant works well for me).

    And yes… a little bit of ‘man’ smell is a good thing

    • Tom says:

      Oh it’s totally marketing- redux of the 60’s where they tried to shame girls into using salad condiments in their “personal areas” for some imagined “not so fresh feeling”

      I just don’t particularly like how MY man smell smells. But that’s what 4711 and Jean Nate is for.

  • Dina C. says:

    Your Jolly Rancher comment has me cackling like a loon, Tom. I have used the Peony scented Lume deoderant stick. It’s nice but. It’s not an antiperspirant. So you smell good, but your armpits feel clammy. Ugh. I can’t take that, so I went back to “regular” stuff. Also let me just say that it’s really hard to find unscented products, especially in travel size. I don’t want my deoderant/antiperspirant to compete with my fragrance. I am also very grossed out by the lack of handwashing that goes on in public restrooms.

    • Tom says:

      I wish there was more unscented stuff as well. I don’t like my deodorant competing with my perfumes either. And I am appalled by the number of people who don’t wash their hands in the loo. Sometimes that’s all I do in there.

  • Eldarwen22 says:

    The only deodorant that I use is either Secret or whatever deodorant is on sale at my local grocery store. I refuse to add more products to my morning shower routine. Commercials, magazines have made us fearful of our own natural scent. There is no way that I am going longer than 24 hours without soap and water. I do take the Let Me Debloat gummies. I find prebiotic and prebiotic gummies seem to help.

    • Musette says:

      I agree! We’re mammals. We smell like… mammals. A shower (and a bidet, if you’re inclined – I am) takes ‘excess’ funk off but there’s no way (and no need) to try to eradicate our natural scent. At least not for me.

      • Tom says:

        I like natural but only to a point. “Nature, Mr Allnut, is what we were put in this world to rise above” is my motto. On this anyway.

    • Tom says:

      It’s funny you should say that- I just reached this AM for the deodorant and it wasn’t Mitchum after all- it was Secret unscented. It’s also in a green tube so I just assumed. Works fine and I got a three-pack cheap.

  • cinnamon says:

    I shower every day but thatā€™s partially because I love being in water. Use deodorant only on the days I know Iā€™ll be around people indoors (if the only thing Iā€™m going to do is walk to farm shop the pits get a rest). Iā€™ve noticed over the years that people who eat a lot of red meat and animal products tend to smell ā€˜meatyā€™ in a rather unpleasant way no matter their personal habits. And no, this isnā€™t being vaguely judgementalā€” itā€™s that olā€™ life experience.

    • Musette says:

      I love being in water, too, cinnamon! The showers are more about that for me than ‘getting clean’ . That… and washing away the psychic detritus of the day

    • Tom says:

      I “shower” every day- every other day is a full scrub and the next day will be a lighter one- I don’t like to wash my hair every day. I did years ago replace the landlord shower head with one that has a handheld attachment, which I love.

      I notice that when I go on a red meat or dairy binge my body smells differently, much like when Asparagus is in season and I eat a lot of it (I adore it, but it makes my pee stinky and me a little bit.)

      • alityke says:

        Asparagus pee is genetic. Some people cannot metabolise asparaginase or whatever makes asparagus taste of asparagus. Meaning they pee it out. My DH tells me I sweat it out too. He used to sweat garlic so I reckon Iā€™m still winning!
        Also man 6pm pong can be helped by eating pineapple!

        • Tom says:

          I had heard of pineapple sweetening other things (ahem) but not that. I love the stuff so I would look forward to any excuse to include more in my diet. Just too bad the cut fruit is so pricey at the market- they know it’s not like peeling a banana, and charge accordingly.

      • Musette says:

        Iirc you have astonishingly gorgeous hair, so whatever youā€™re doingā€¦ keep it up!

  • Maya says:

    I’m with Pam – we don’t need to smell shower fresh every minute. There is a world of difference between BO and your natural scent. So, I keep clean, use Secret deodorant, and am good to go. As to natural scent (the kind bloodhounds follow), that can be wonderful! And I’ve known a few whose scent I never liked.
    ……* man-stink and Jolly Rancher* oh no. lol. These “smelly posts” are good for a lot of laughs though. šŸ˜‰

    • Musette says:

      Isn’t that the truth “As to natural scent (the kind bloodhounds follow), that can be wonderful! And Iā€™ve known a few whose scent I never liked.”
      I am not a fan of smoker’s scent… but once had the HORD Hots for a smoker – his natural scent coupled with the smoke that probably stays forever in his lungs was a heady combination (as a long-ago smoker I confess to enjoying the ‘hit’ ). He always brushed his teeth or chewed gum but that smoke was always in his lungs. Yum (weird, I know, but…)
      Yet …. some other smoker? Nahmgood.

      • Tom says:

        I used to smoke as well (quit in the 90’s) and every once in a while will get a hit off someone who has recently smoked and it smells… divine. For about 1/2 an hour. I don’t think I could live with someone who smoked and frankly can’t believe I ever did it.

    • Tom says:

      I like some other’s natural smell. Just not mine at the moment. Like I wrote I think it might be the combo of quitting taking the Chlorophyll gelcaps (which may be a placebo) and the fact that I’ve been having a lot more dairy in the past 6 months or so.

  • March says:

    I’m fascinated by this topic. Hormones can play a big part — is there anything stinkier than a group of teenage boys? (I’m not talking about Axe either!) I’ve been blessed with little to no B.O., except during perimenopause. Of course I’m wearing so much scented product on my dry skin, who would know? I only shower a couple times a week, but the pits and bits get a quick bathe every morning. I use salicylic acid on my pits for Reasons and I’ve passed that on to two of my stinkier kids, apparently it helps a lot with their armpit odor. I probably wouldn’t risk applying it to the nether bits though.

    • Tom says:

      ooof, teenage boys! My friend was hosting a couple of them a few years ago and one especially was so nice and so handsome and just a great kid but did he reek! Testosterone gone wild! Ha had to shower a couple of times a day to keep it in check- it was eye-watering.

  • Portia says:

    LOVE that unscented Mitchum 48 hours Tom. It keeps me smelling delightful through thick and thin. Sadly it’s getting harder to find in my local supermarkets.
    Do you have recons in the USA? I’m using their 48 hour one now and it’s pretty good too.
    Portia xx

    • Tom says:

      I don’t think I’ve seen recons. I was actually wrong- I’d used Mitchum forever and just assumed what I was using (having grabbed it off the shelf by color) was that but it’s actually “strong enough for a man but made for a woman” Secret. Same dark green packaging, wrapped in a three pack, so I grabbed a couple of them on sale at Thrifty Drugs. I wonder if it’s the same thing with just different marketing- like Hellman’s Mayonnaise is Best Foods on the West coast.

  • Shiva-woman says:

    I’m laughing (which is a first this long US week). I’ve never worried too much about stinky bits, but as I’ve gotten older I am more self- conscious. I think I’ll try the first Lume. Thank you for cheering me up and venturing where few dare to tread: 6:00 stink.

  • Pam says:

    Tom, my day has been The Pits (not the arm kind) and reading your post has brightened my mood and made me laugh out loud. Thanks!
    The goal of these products is to make us feel extremely insecure about our bodies, driving us to buybuybuy. We donā€™t need to smell shower fresh every minute of the day. Unless you run a few miles and never wear deodorant each day, youā€™ll be just fine. And I like Jean Nate too.

    • Tom says:

      Iā€™m sorry you had a bad day- glad I made you smile. That makes my day!

      We all have to take those ads with a grain of salt the size of an iceberg. They need us to think weā€™re all fat old smelly losers who just need to buy more to feel better.