I’m coining this one #BlameTom even though I think it was me who stomped around this particular tune. Actually it was BOD, Axe’s low-rent cousin, the stuff of Migraines Yet to Come and can you believe it? Walmart has BOD behind a locked cabinet!!! Maybe because of the yellowcake? Dunno – but whatever the reason, I’m grateful. I cannot imagine the hordes of preteen boys spraying that stuff in the aisles!
Anyway (lordt, can Musette digress or what?) I went looking for Axe because of a chance encounter at the hardware store. The man helping me smelled ‘better than okay/trending towards really nice’ and I told him so (not in those ridiculous words, of course) – and he told me it was nothing more than Axe body spray and Old Spice deodorant – but also that he got lots of compliments on how he smelled! Huh. Now… I had preteen boys and they LIVED in Axe – and they never smelled like that. So… let’s see what Axe has been up to in the last decade or so.
Turns out (drum roll) … they’ve got some … nice! scents. They also have a LOT of scents so I limited my foray to four of the Premium body sprays (I love you Posse but there is a limit to what I can do in the name of Posse Love. )
Emerald Sage. I started with this one because it was the first one I managed to open (sue me). It’s got a quick little twistiedoodle thingy that pops up and pops back down (hey, I only spritzed once onto a strip!!). Emerald Sage is purported to have geranium, cedar and patch EOs… erm… not quiiiite sure about this one. It’s really astringent, without any of the rich soft mintyness (or soft minty richness) of Geranium Pour Monsieur or Grey Flannel. A little of this one goes a LONG way.
Blue Lavender. This one also requires a deft hand but it’s far less strident than the Emerald Sage. I could see really loving this one… about an hour after application… on a really quietly sexy man who just came from taking a shower at the gym – it would pair well with that heightened endorphin flush. A crisp white shirt wouldn’t go unappreciated, either.
Golden Mango. OMG. I am stunned to say I would absolutely wear this. Ab.So.Lutely. And if a reasonably attractive man walked past me wafting this… there’s a 1 in 2 chance I might follow him. The ‘fresh scent’ note takes a back seat to the citrus/mango pairing and it morphs into a gorgeous skin scent. I’d love to smell this on someone I really liked… though I can’t promise shenanigans wouldn’t ensure. It really is lush without being overpowering.
Royal Pineapple. Done right, I really enjoy pineapple in perfume (Smelling you Ananas Fizz.). This pineapple/grapefruit combo is completely inoffensive and I wouldn’t hate if a man smelled of this – but it’s not transportive. But ... for the love of snakes, Musette – it’s not meant to be ‘transportive’ – it’s a freakin’ deodorant body spray you can get at any drugstore. And it’s better than marinating in Polo, that’s for sure (oh, the 80s…sigh) – so… they are FOINE – as long as you don’t marinate!
So: the upshot – I think they are perfectly okay. And that Golden Mango is really, really nice. I also think they work because the premium line has actual EOs in them. AND I also think a deft, light hand is what makes them work as well – but I could say that about every scent on the planet. Ain’t nobody need 17 sprays of ANYTHING! But as any of you who have teen boys knows – they go BIG!
And… I cringingly remember the cubs’ teen years, when the testosterone was running amok and no matter how showered they are there’s that ‘funk’ that teen boys exude… perhaps it’s never really been Axe’s fault. ???? Maybe you need to dilute the funk with a bit of age (the man I complimented was in his very late 40s)??? As much as I loved the Golden Mango I have a sinking feeling that overapplication on a 14yr old boy could bring up my lunch.
So that’s my good deed for the year. If you want a review of BOD you’re on your own. I’d do anything for Posse Love… but I won’t do that!
I’m glad to know that some of these aren’t terrible, I will be on the lookout for the mango one.
And teenage boys….I was a cashier in the cafeteria of a medium sized high school. All those boys with all that Axe and those size 13s with 100x the normal shoe funk – let’s just say that sometimes I would run to the bathroom and stick my nose down my shirt to smell whatever perfume I applied in the morning. It was always a relief.
OMG! Yeah… I’ll bet that experience goes to ELEVEN! 😉
I remember my son’s teen years with a cringe. How the reek couldn’t be obliterated from his bedroom even when the room was clean. I gave him Mugler’s Cologne in that cool acid green bottle to wear. It smells like freshly steam-ironed dress shirts. But he gravitated to the Old Spice line with their comical names and powerful scents. I’m glad to hear Axe makes something good now. High school teachers everywhere will rejoice.
Inorite? And then boys grow up to be men… and they smell deeelicious (other people’s sons, I mean 😉
And I really do wonder : have they refined their formula or is it just the teenage funk?
Hahahaha teenage boys smell absolutely REVOLTING. Hormones, skin oils, and dicey hygiene? I’m not sure. I just remember some group of them dropping their shoes in the mudroom and me airing it out later. I read Golden Mango as “Golden Mange” — glad I was wrong. I wrote on here awhile ago about an Old Spice deodorant I smelled in the wild on a friend’s kid, and it was lovely when I went in for a hug! Maybe folks have learned not to marinate in those sprays… gonna look for that Golden Mango next time I’m in CVS.
I think it must be a combination of better hygiene and… maybe..? the companies toning down the overwhelming MASSIVENESS of their products?
and yes – teenage boys … ew.
You are far braver than I am. There’s no way — after living for a period in a house with teenage boys who wore this (my son never did — when he wanted fragrance he wore something from my stash) — I would go near any of them. Don’t care if they are halfway decent. Feh, just feh.
LOL! Well.. and that’s why I did it!
You’re welcome! xoxo
Axe is called Lynx on this side of the pond. Not smelled them for donkey’s years! The last one I had to smell on the rugrats was Lynx Africa. In homeopathic amounts it smelt good. My eldest teamed it with a touch of Shalimar
“in homeopathic amounts” hahahahahaha although WHOA that sophisticated combo with Shalimar — impressed!
He adores Shalimar. Once told me it smelt like my skin but better. I only wear the flankers now.
He now wear Bleu de Chanel (insert eye roll) cos his wife loves it.
The youngest always wore Prada Infusion d’Iris & Infusion d’Homme. Now he prefers to be unscented. They are both fragrance lovers.
Inorite?
wow! Your eldest had a sophisticated olfactory palate, even at that young age!!! Kudos!
Wow! Well the award one for brass goes to you! Nice to read that there were ones that weren’t awful. That.. THING I tried (and have tried more than once since I paid for the damned thing) is like dipping my ‘nads into napalm after giving them a good scrub with ground glass and barbed wire. Major ouch- and that’s coming from a boy who washes his Netherlands in Dr. Bonner’s Peppermint and refreshes them with Jean Naté.
I think I’ll take your word on these. The only fatal flaw in your take I can see is A) that so few of the target audience are going to use them after a shower instead of instead of one and 2) the dreaded teenage funk.
I honestly think it’s the funk – most of the teenagers I know/knew (when they were teens) are hygiene-obsessed, much to the dismay of their parents, who have to pay the water bill.
HA! Thanks for the heads up Musette.
I remember Norsca body spray. It was the choice of my football team at school. That shower room smelled like a heavily powdered pine forest, and I loved it.
Portia xx
that doesn’t sound… awful! I love a pine scent – as long as it doesn’t smell like cleaner.