Musette’s Memories: Holiday FOOD!

Posse, my darlings!  By the time this post goes live it’ll be Christmas Eve!  And, blessed be… just One More Day…

…Until this is ALL OVER for another year.

Heeheee!..  sort of kidding – sort of.  Don’t get me wrong (okay, get me wrong) – I don’t ‘hate’ Christmas. But it can be stressful, as we’ve discussed here, to feel like  THISISTHEDAYYOUHAVETOMAKEMERRY/BEJOLLY/falalala …

and Christmas has always been THE DAY (in my family, at least) where …. omg… if sh!t is gonna hit the fan, it’ll be That Day.  Like the Christmas Morning (after a Really Bad Year in their marriage) my mother threw my father’s gift (a mismatched crystal ashtray and lighter ( the latter of which was shaped like a grenade and weighed a ton) through one of the floor-to-ceiling windows in our Mid-Mod living room.  In December!  In Chicago!  That window cost my dad $1500 to replace! In 1977!  OMG!

And sooo many more dramas in my colorful, insane family.  BonkersAF, the lot of ’em.   But the one thing that was always on-point!  The food!  My mother was an incredible cook and she never EVER let her fury tinge her cooking; to be honest, I think the food was terrified she would throw IT out of the window if it didn’t turn out perfectly (my mother was forever breaking windows – she really should’ve married a glass installer).

With all that drama you’d think I wouldn’t enjoy cooking Christmas dinner- but I do! Despite all the holiday nonsense some of my best memories are the incredible feasts that my mother laid out for Christmas.  Turkey, brined and slow-cooked to perfection, with a skin so perfectly crisp it was almost like crackling!  Ham (which my father taught me to brine in ginger ale and pineapple), the fat perfectly rendered (I absolutely haaate when ham fat is still gelatinous and white…::shudders::).  I waited all year for my mother’s Fried Corn (corn pudding, perfectly perfect, with little pops of whole kernels amongst the satiny pudding, despite knowing that it was I who would have to shuck and clean 4doz ears of corn (and Floyd help you if you left silk on!)  Sidenote:  after El O and I split the ONLY time he ever contacted me… was to ask me if I would give him the recipe for Fried Corn (which I did because Shrug Emoji and the Type-2 lunatic had purchased TEN DOZEN EARS of corn because WHYYY?  I really should’ve kept that life insurance policy extant)

I used to be very rigid in the kitchen but now I’ve relaxed my own minatory ways (which I inherited from my mother and No Surprise There 😉 and now enjoy allowing others to bring food to my table (DH#1 nebber lied when he said ‘living with you is like living with Picasso’ – which he later amended to ‘living with you is like living with Godzilla’.  TRex, know thyself, I guess 😉

Time for dinner!

I’m not nearly as fussy about the whole thing as I used to be – as you all know (because I have not shut up about it in 4 months!) I’m still in reno.  I was hoping to have my house back in order but NEWP! So I’ll be making dinner for people I love amidst flooring/medicine cabinets, etc – and it will be GLORIOUS!  Because LOVE is the best ingredient in any meal, holiday or otherwise.  Even at her most furious, my mother loved to cook food for people – even people she was mad at!  Like my father.  Always.

And I’m told I can cook!  And (to borrow a cultural reference): I will put mah FOOT in it!

I’m brining a turkey AND a ham because I love the folks who are coming to my Christmas Dinner – all two of them – and he’s a serious traditionalist so it’s HAM, DAMMIT!  But I also have a turkey and, tbh, I’m looking more forward to making tetrazzini later in the week, which I will concierge cook for them (they rewired my HOUSE, bringing it up to code, because he was having nightmares about it just spontaneously combusting.  Who knew?  Even more important? My bathroom!  Wired to Perfection! And he has the wiring laid for my Back Porch ( with its outdoor kitchen)!!!  Everything I want, right at my fingertips, no drop cords required!  I could cry, I’m so happy!  I cook their meals every week because I adore them – and stuff they eat gives ME nightmares!!

Annnd.  When we do the indoor kitchen?  I will have outlets Every Ten Inches!  You may roll your eyes … but this?  THIS is the ‘ten inches’ I truly desire!

I would carry them both to the table myself, I’m that grateful, – but he’s 6’4″ and topping out at 400 spins… he can walk.  I’ll carry the turkey – and the ham.

But they won’t be bringing any food – because they don’t cook.  Which suits Godzilla to a T(Rex.  heh.  see what I did there?) – okay, maybe I need to work on that ‘relaxing my minatory ways’ thing.

Whatever the holidays you celebrate (or not), I’m wishing you every happiness! And be it drool-worthy Chinese #BlameTom(andOMGwouldIlovetodothatbut#NoDecentChineseforMiles,alas) or traditional baked ham, whatever floats your holiday boat …. I am wishing you peace, love, contentment – and some incredible FOOD!

Photo of the Dump Cake recipe I’m making for Christmas dessert.  It’s from Saturdays Francine, who knows the living daylights out of her desserts!  I’ll taste it, then I’ll be on the elliptical for 24 hours.  Le sigh.

Good enough for Saturdays Francine, good enough for TRex!