$7,319.68 – by Nava

The number above – that’s the tax deduction 30 Serges (Exports and Exclusives), plus about 100 more miscellaneous fragrances and other items will get you if you donate them to charity.

How do I know this? I found out about 2 weeks ago, finally, what my wonderful aunt did with my perfume collection and some other items I was forbidden to retrieve from her house. Now, I guess you can say I have “closure” of the situation since she threw me out over a year ago.

I’m usually not one to air dirty laundry, but since I’ve been through so much over the past few years, I thought, what the hell. I’ve lost everything so I literally have nothing left to lose.

The problem is, finding out that my treasured collection is gone forever has put me off fragrance. This is worse than going off meds or having a run of bad luck. Right now, I just don’t care what I smell like or what anything smells like. I even pitched what  few bottles that did manage to make it out of her house; I just couldn’t stand looking at them anymore.

So, for now, I bid you all adieu. I have no desire to smell anything and I don’t know when I will again. I know my attitude sounds defeatist and it’s allowing evil to triumph over good, but I am too exhausted, emotionally and physically, to keep fighting. The only thing I can hope for is that my aunt will receive some sort of karmic retribution for all the crap she’s pulled on me over the past couple of years. You know the saying: what goes around, comes around. Let’s all keep our fingers crossed, shall we?

I hope to see you all again before too long.

**Thanks to everyone who commented. I’ve always appreciated the love and support I’ve found here – now more than ever. I will be back. Oh, yes – I will be back!**




  • Kristin says:

    Oh Honey,

    Allow yourself to grieve in whatever manner is necessary.
    You will be welcomed with open arms and minds when you are ready.


  • karin says:

    Might be time to get that tattoo you’ve been wanting…XO

  • mariekel says:

    Like everyone here before me, I am so sorry Nava. Such a horrible passive-aggressive thing to do to you. Your Aunt is a hellion who deserves to be forced to wear the current version of Emeraude while locked in a hot room with no ventilation for the rest of her wretched days.

    I hope this period will pass swiftly and that you will back with us before long.

  • sybil says:

    Wow. I have nothing to say, except I am so, so sorry.

  • Gwyneth says:

    I echo all the thoughts written by the caring folks above.
    “Heel” (noun)
    ‘a contemptibly dishonorable or irresponsible person’

    Keep that definition in mind for the following:
    “Time heals all wounds and wounds all heels”

    Take care, Nava, and Be Well.
    Come back when you’re ready. :)

  • Aparatchick says:

    I’m so sorry, Nava. You’ve been through so much recently; you’re overdue for something good to come your way. So that’s what I’ll be wishing for you: healing, peace, and eventually a return to joy.

  • Amy K says:

    I’m sorry, Nava. One day when it’s not so raw you’ll find new perfume loves and rebuild a collection that’s untainted by bad memories. Your aunt deserves to be hosed down with some Scharffen Berger Cacao.

  • Kate says:


  • Joanie says:

    I’m so sorry to hear of your shattering experience, I’m glad you’re stepping back to give yourself time to recover. I hope that someday in the not-too-distant future you will be surprised to find your head turned again by some enticing fragrance, and then you will know you are beginning to heal.

    Sympathetic hugs and all my well-wishes!

  • jen says:

    I am so sorry, Nava. :(

  • Jayne58 says:

    Oh Nava, I do feel for you. My mother donated a precious and irreplaceable collection of books that I had left in her safekeeping to charity out of pure spleen. Because of this and several other harmful acts I am no longer in contact with her, which is a very painful situation. I am not angry any more and still love her, indeed feel desperately sorry for her because she is a deeply damaged person, but I also feel that I need to protect myself from her. It has taken a long time to reach this equilibrium.

    Perhaps because books are like air to me, it was never an option to project my feelings of hurt onto them. Please forgive this bit of pop psychology, but it seems to me as though perfume is doing you another amazing favour. All my love and you do whatever it takes to heal yourself and armour yourself against harm.

  • tammy says:

    Nava, I wish I had the eloquence that everyone else here has, but please know how sorry I am, and that I’m sending you lots of peaceful, healing thoughts.

  • Trina says:

    I’m just heartsick reading this. I am so sorry for everything you have been put through, and I completely understand your decision. I hope your love of fragrance isn’t ruined forever. (((Nava)))

  • mary says:

    Nava–will miss your blogging. Take care. I hpe the old saying, when one door closes, another opens, comes true for you.

  • How horrible for you. How sad for us that you will step away, but if you need a break, you need a break. Rainer Maria Rilke said, “No emotion is final.” I’ll just sit here with a cup of coffee and a candle and wait for you to come back.

  • Joanna says:

    I felt like crying while reading this. I don’t know you but I know how devestated I would be in your situation. I’m so so sorry. I think most if not all of us, “Perfumistas” feel like our fragrance collections are something deeply personal, an extension of our being and I can only imagine that it must feel like such a personal attack to have this done. Especially by someone who is/was family. Wishing you peace, love and comfort.

  • Austenfan says:

    I am deeply sorry for this. I hope you will allow yourself time to recover from what can only have been an awful blow.

    Your friday guest post in 2008 is one of my favourite fragrance posts ever!

    Sending you my very best wishes for your future!!

  • LindaB says:

    I hope you find peace soon…and make your way back here eventually. Take your time and be good to yourself.

  • Kirsten says:

    Nava, so so sorry to hear this.

    Cauterize the wounds any way you can, whatever makes sense to you.
    Time heals, I promise…

    Find something that makes your heart and soul sing again.

    We’ll always be here for you.

  • minette says:

    sorry to hear this. i know what she did felt like an attack, but i would encourage you to take some time to sit quietly and go deep until you can see that whatever you are – beyond your body and you mind and what you call “nava” – is still there, still safe and sound. and not even wounded. not really. if you can understand that she can’t get to the big YOU, you may also be able to love her anyway, regardless. you can remember what she did, but you don’t need to hold onto it, unless you want to cause yourself more pain. buddhist teachings on the nature of suffering can help you move through it.

    see you on the other side.

  • FragrantWitch says:

    I am so sorry to hear this. I truly believe that whatever you send out into the universe comes back to you threefold so her day will come. As will yours as you have brought pleasure to many people with your lovely perfume writing and that joy and pleasure will come back to you threefold. Hang in there, be gentle with yourself and we hope to see you soon!

  • Janet says:

    I’m so sorry to read this Nava :-(

  • March says:

    Nava, you and I have already talked, but I wanted to say how sorry I am, and I’ll miss your blogging.

  • Marsha says:

    I’m so very sorry, Nava. I had hoped that she would come around and let you have them back. You will probably go through a stage of grief because your aunt has effectively *killed* a part of your joy. Just go through the grief and let yourself heal.


  • Mary Beth says:

    Sweet Nava…I’m so sorry it ended this way for you. Know you’ll be missed here but we’ll be waiting with open arms if and when you come back to the Posse.

  • smy says:

    So sorry to hear this. I’m sending positive thoughts your way. And I’m really going to miss your writing – you were one of my favorite blog writers.

  • mals86 says:

    I’m so sorry.

    Do please take care of yourself. You’ve gone through a lot of upheaval and loss and change over the last couple of years, and you deserve to be tender with yourself.

    Sending prayers for strength and healing.

  • dleep says:

    I just want to say that I am so very sorry. I wish I could do something. I have enjoyed reading your posts. Please take care of yourself.

  • maggiecat says:

    Nava, I’m so sorry you have to go through this right now. Betrayal from those we have trusted hurts the worst (and it happened to me at work recently). Please take care of yourself and don’t let anyone take your joy from you – whether that joy is your passions, your peace of mind, or anything else. Ii hope to read your next words soon, but until then, please know that we care about you and wish you happiness.

  • Zazie says:

    I wish you all the best.

    And, well, it’s right to take a pause when the moment comes.
    I do look forward to reading perfume stuff from you – just take your time.
    And don’t think about those $7,319.68.
    Don’t think about your aunt.
    Don’t think about your lost perfumes.
    Look forward and take good care of yourself.
    You’ll feel better soon.


  • Jiyin says:

    I am so sorry, Nava. I first became obsessed with perfume when I got hooked on Serge Lutens, and it was right at the very beginning of my obsession that I read your post about your drawer full of shrink-wrapped Serge bell jars. I was in awe. It was that post that drew me into following this blog.

    Thank you for that introduction to Perfume Posse, and truly, I’m sorry for this sadness. Take good care of yourself, and know that there are lots of people out here who wish you nothing but the very best.

  • Teri says:

    2011 seems to be a tough year to be a Posse insider…first March and now you, Nava. :(( Sadly, people who know us best know how to hurt us worst.

    I hope you can eventually forgive perfume for its role in your unhappiness, as all of us who read here know how much you enjoyed it. Take care and be well.

  • jirish says:

    I’m so very sorry to hear of this. I remember first learning about the situation with your aunt, and hoping that there could be some good resolution. I understand you wanting to turn away from perfume right now, but hope you can heal enough in the future to be back. Wishing you peace, love, and support.

  • Masha says:

    I think the worst bit is that she took the tax deduction, that’s a real handful of salt on a wound. I’ve heard of bad family behavior, but this made the top 5.
    I can totally understand why you’d just want to get away for awhile. I hope you’ll be back someday! Big hugs.

  • pam says:

    You will be missed. And you will be in our thoughts and prayers.
    The loss is much deeper than the bottles of perfume, I know. What goes around, comes around, and your ex-aunt (my suggestion is to mentally divorce her)(I had to do that with a sister-in-law) will be repaid. And not by a tax deduction. I will hope that after a healing time, we will hear from you again.

  • Tara says:

    I am so sorry. It is devestating when people do unspeakably evil things. It really does turn your world upside down. I know things will get better, but I am sure it doesn’t seem like that right now.

    Good Luck…I am thinking about you!

  • Ann says:

    So sorry to hear this, dear Nava. Taking a break may be the best thing you can do right now though. Will miss you, but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you a big hug, sweetie …

  • tania says:

    Gee-zuss! What a (insert preferred swearword) she is!

    OK, this question may have been answered at some point, and my deepest apologies if I offend by asking.
    But did you report her to the cops? This is theft (and probably other offences as well). Karma takes too long, legal retribution might be nice….

  • Marsi says:

    Oh, my dear … that is breathtaking and heartstopping … and for all the wrong reasons. I would not want to be reminded of the existence of perfume either, if I were you. You need make no excuses or apologies. You’ve had a wicked, wicked thing done to you. Please take care of yourself and be well.

  • Debbie R. says:

    I can’t imagine, Nava. I wish it hadn’t happened.

  • Jillie says:

    Dear Nava, I just wish there was something I could do to help comfort you, but I guess you are beyond that at the moment. You are right – there has to be some sort of karmic retribution in store for your evil aunt, and in my experience that really does happen. Bereavement caused me to lose my enjoyment of perfume and, finally, the sense of smell, but it did return, so it may do for you too. In the meantime, I send you love and hope the future will bring you happiness and peace.

  • Lilybug says:

    I can’t fully imagine the sense of loss you must be experiencing – loss of personal items but more the loss of joy from a loved hobby and even more than that the betrayal from a family member. But I can certainly empathise why you’re feeling as you are and I think I would respond in a similar manner. I truly hope things improve for you soon.

  • dianawr says:


    I just don’t even…


    I am so, so sorry.

  • Oh Nava :(

    Just sending hugs {{{NAVA}}}