So! My darlings. I. Am. An. Idiot.
But you knew that!
This particular idiocy is Weather Foolishness…and hey! Guess what? It does involve perfume.
So let us begin this sad tale.
I have a large garden. And I haz chickens. And the Polar Vortex and the weeds and the pee and the poop and Polly-wolly doodle all the day….I have been working like that poor rented Egyptian mule…and it’s been 90F and I lost mah marbles and went and picked up several tons of gravel (for the garden paths) and sand (for the coop yard, which stank to high heaven)
And when you get several tons of gravel & sand it’s all good – they put it in the bed of the pickup and you drive it home….but then you have to get it out. The sand was easyish-peas. It’s sand, though a shovelful of sand is considerably heavier than a shovelful of feathers. Friday, though, I had to get the gravel out, shovelful by shovelful. And there is NO shade. And it was 90F. I lucked out – one of our project workers was looking for some extra simoleans and helped offload and re-lay the garden paths (this time it was was more difficult than the Year of the Wisdom Tooth in that I’d already planted! and those paths are narrow)…and we moronically worked from 10a – noon; why we didn’t just get in a microwave oven will remain a mystery. Got it all done, though and the paths are all clean and tidy (this photo is from last year but it looks persackly like this now, except I need to go out and weed) – he left at noon and I staggered around the sun-baked yard, wondering why I was staggering….kept doing little projects and narrowly missing killing myself on several occasions…and still I staggered on.
Let me tell you why people get sick – really sick – from heat exhaustion. The very nature of heat exhaustion is confusion and staggeration ;-( You have no idea why you just drank a half-gallon of water and can’t pee. A liter of ginger ale seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to imbibe. I think I’ll walk the dog…..why am I zigzagging all over the street? That sort of thing…
Finally I thought ‘hey! you know…I’ll bet a cool shower would feel FREAKIN’ GREAT! right about now’…so I took one. And scrubbed up with Dial (don’t you wish everybody did?)…and then I slathered on some Frederic Malle Geranium Pour Monsieur body lotion, so minty-fresh it tingled! Seriously. Either that or I was still feeling the hallucinogenic effects of sunstroke. O.M.G. So fresh. But not that horrible Fresh Accord fresh. This is the perfect antidote to a bloody, messy, stupid-actin’ day. Even though I was feeling like I, Rhino the quiet, elegant freshness of this lotion brought me somewhat back to my senses. It felt like I’d just pulled on a crisp, white Ann Fontaine blouse (yeah, the ones with 3billion pintucks that Somebody Who is Not Me has to iron) I spritzed some (okay – a LOT) of the perfume, then I decided to do the only sensible thing left to do. I took a nap. When I awoke, some 6 hours later, the whole room smelled like beautiful, minty geraniums! In Paris. On vintage Frette linens.
Of course, you don’t have to haul gravel or suffer heatstroke in order to smell like a beautiful, minty geranium. In fact, I advise you to skip that portion of the exercise altogether. But…wow! If you want to feel like that woman (or man – it is Pour Monsieur, after all) who wears that Ann Fontaine shirt…that someone else irons.. this is a perfect scent. Dominic Ropion is the perfumer and it’s $265/100ml and worth every simolean, imo. And I mean it. It’s not the sunstroke talking. Mine comes from Andy at Barneys – and yours can, too.
Oooh! I’m a grandma! I have 2 baby screech owls (the newly-minted part of this post. Ha!) He’s only about 5″ tall and I’m stunned that I got this photo. They’re roosting in the tree in my side garden. Mom was like ‘are you joking? get the hell away from mah babies’ which, may I just say? kinda terrifying…..then she got over it when she realized I was just looking. They make the coolest sounds.