Winners! And a giveaway. Because Cranky

I am giving some more fun stuff away because I just want to rant for a hot second and if you have to read it, the least I can do is reward you for it, right?  Yep!  So there.

I just got home from one of the more harrowing runs.  We had a massive ice storm last night, so bad that we couldn’t see out of our kitchen windows!  Facebook was full of friends’ tales of sliding into ditches, etc – but needs must when the Customer drives so right after lunch I got in the car to run some parts to powdercoaters and ceramic coaters.

I hate Mapquest.  Or maybe I hate my squirrely mind, that can’t connect with a Garmin…whatever the case, I need to do several things before I set out on an icy journey in the middle of WinterWhichIHate…the most important thing?  PAY ATTENTION TO THE ADDRESS!  None of the places I go are anywhere, really.  I mean, really.  Nowhere.   And getting to some of these places requires a bit of ingenuity in that Over the Hills and Through the Woods kinda way.  So, going to this new place….the fact that I am on an ice-bound gravel road, in the fog….no biggie…except…THIS AIN’T THE PLACE, DAMMIT!  It’s clear on the other side of Dixon, which I’ve already driven though and is about 15 miles away.  Siiiiigh.  I might as well have been on the dark side of the moon.

Guess what?  This never happens in Summer.

I wore Diaghilev.  I’m glad I did.  This was such a weird, scary trip that the bombast of Diaghilev distracted me from the idea of going off into some ditch and freezing to death.  Or just dying from sheer, unmitigated Terror.  I hate Winter.

Other rant:  the kitchen.  I am wondering if El O and I are going to be able to survive this.  I can’t tell if he’s just yanking my menopausal chain or if he’s losing his tiny little mind….what part of I DO NOT WANT AN EFFIN’ PENINSULA!!!  is difficult to understand?  This is a man who, if we are lucky, will boil water to brew his tea.  The cubs are grown.  I hate bars.  So why is he insisting on a breakfast bar?  Whyyyy?  Does he want me to flip out and hit him with a 2×4?    Luckily we have some time to sort this out – we can’t even break ground for the footings until late April.    Oh, yes.  The footings.  Turns out we can’t put on the ‘real’ second floor until we put in some footings – because currently there is nothing really holding up the back end of this house!  Sweet chickens in the snow.  I will have the kitchen plan finished, then he’ll sign it in front of a notary.  I’ll have all the materials in-house.

Then I’ll leave town for 3 weeks.


When I come back.  Kitchen!  Or as close as makes no difference.  And no prison sentence for Musette!unnamed

Hey, a gal can dream.

But!  On to YOU!  Here are the winners from last week’s lame-o post.  I swear….I’ll do better.  Promise!  But for now:  Pixel!  Einsof!  C’mon down with your address details.  Gmail ol’ evilauntieanita.  I’ll send you some sniffery goodness!


And the rest of you, tell me something.  Anything.  I’ll pull a couple of winners as a thank you for reading this ridiculous post.  I adore you all and so appreciate you hanging in there with me, as I try to pull my olfactory self together.




  • Laurels says:

    I dislike the heat and the cold roughly equally nowadays, even in the very temperate clime I now inhabit. (High of 84*F, low of 62*F. Lowish humidity. Occasional rainstorm, with some moderately distant thunder. Is that so much to ask?) But I finally got the bottle of Etro Shaal Nur I’ve been coveting, so now I feel I’m ready for the worst of the summer. I don’t know what the magic perfume is for the coldest days, but it will be fun to keep looking for it.

  • ashley a says:

    I am so sorry about the ice storm. I am sick to death of the snow and ice. The weather is supposed to be looking up here this weekend, so here’s hoping!

  • kizzers says:

    Best of luck with the remodel, if it looks anything like that picture when its done it will be stunning! I need to check out Diaghilev. If it can get you through all that and you still love it, it must be something truly special. To treat myself after a couple of stressful days I bought Hermes Le Jardin de Monsieur Li (un-sniffed) at the airport on the way home tonight – best decision evah!

  • Mariann says:

    I love your posts, usually makes me giggle more than once and get funny looks on the train. Sweet chickens indeed ????

  • Aaron B. says:

    Your kitchen is looking beautiful. The weather here is one of extremes with it dropping 40 degrees within the next 6 hours. I hope it warms up soon for you! Cheers!

  • Karen says:

    The kitchen remodel process is grueling. The sawdust lunches and dinners. Not to mention the water and electrical outages. I was always cranky when there was no coffee or tea. The noise and the constant “We have an issue we need you to resolve.”

    Best of luck to you! The end product will be worth all the bumps along the way!

  • HemlockSillage says:

    Blah-hahaha! You cracked me UP! I agree with the above posters that “Sweet chickens in the snow,” is brilliant, and I’m stealing it, but I don’t think it will have the same ring down here in Texas 😀

    You deserve your dream kitchen. ElO can decorate his man cave however he wants. I would conservatively take any estimate on home improvement time, and multiply it by 3, mebbe 4 for sanity’s sake. Stay warm and stay feisty!

  • D Ross says:

    Winter is SO fired, but i am dreading summer even more! Hot flashes keep me up all night and I swear I haven’t even worn a real coat in 3 years. And I had an EPIC stupid yesterday that I can chalk up to menopause-brain. It all started with sku stickers leaving sticky on the bottom of my new stemless Ikea glasses.

    I grabbed my can of 3M Adhesive Remover and started to spray down all four glasses, but the nozzle was clogged, so I sprayed my shirt and the kitchen counter. No biggie, I grab a paper towel and curtain each cup as I spray them all liberally. I let them soak for a moment and start rubbing with the paper towel, which promptly disintegrates while bits are stuck to the glass. I try to set down the glass, only to find it **stuck to my hand.**

    I look at my 3M Adhesive Remover and actually notice there is no word “REMOVER” anywhere on the can. Yep… I just glued a wine glass to my own hand. GLORIOUS.

    I made that face. That face I’d have made if I caught my husband in the kitchen with a wineglass glued to his hand. The “forcrissakes you moron, what have you done?!” look.

    All ended well with denatured alcohol, but you just couldn’t make this kind of thing up.

    So, I treated myself to a full bottle of A*Men Coffee. I love it on me. I love it on my husband. Hell, I’ll love it on the cat. I just happened to be looking at the TM site (after sniffing my TM Les Exceptions samples from S2C tyvm!) and stumbled upon it. Ah that is one frag that will have a verrrrry strange story behind it.

    • Queen Cupcake says:

      Get you some Goo Gone for those darn sticky labels. And throw away the 3M Adhesive. I’ve never found that stuff to do what it is supposed to do very well anyway.

      • Diana says:

        Lol yeah, we have Goo-Off somewhere too. And I agreed, that glue has no place here… Especially in an easy to reach place for me!

  • Eloquaint says:

    Diaghilev, huh? Never tried it.

    You have it backwards, though, honey. YOU don’t leave town for three weeks. EL O leaves town for three weeks. You can deal with a reno, just not a reno and a spouse, too, And it’s better to be on hand to make last minute decisions.

    Yesterday I went online to look at rotary-ie hand-powered-egg beaters, since I don’t have one and I miss making Jello pudding mixes. A rotary beater runs between about $15 and $25…except for this one I found that was $25, marked down from $200. What in God’s name does an egg beater have to be capable of doing to be worth $200? I’m tempted to buy one on general principals, the same principal that makes you buy a Missoni scarf that’s 90% off, even if it isn’t really your colors. It’s Missoni!

  • Mary K says:

    When I saw “Because Cranky” in the title of this post, I just had to read right away to see what was going on! You have my sympathy about driving in the fog and on icy roads and then not finding your destination right away. I have had nightmares about bad driving excursions. I liked Mapquest in its earlier days, but now it just isn’t that good any more, in my opinion.

    Once you get through everything with the new kitchen, it will be really nice. You can think about how wonderful it will be and you’ll be able to get through the three weeks to get it all done.

  • rosarita says:

    I loooove your rants, Ms A! Always entertaining and informative 🙂 I always forget about the nitpicky stuff that I hate about winter in This Old House – the way stuff freezes in the corner kitchen cabinet, the way the water in the shower is hot but the air in the shower is cold so you get out of a hot shower colder than when you got in, the fact that the dryer lives on the unheated back porch and takes an eternity to dry anything. I hear robins in the mornings so that’s hopeful although they’re probably griping at each other that they came north too soon.

  • Sapphire says:

    It’s a pain remodeling a kitchen, but the results are worth it. Your picture looks fabulous. We are getting snowed on in Arkansas and my office closed early, so am at home with 2 each of stir crazy boys, cats, dogs, and fish. Good thing we thaw by the weekend.

  • AnnieA says:

    Just to start a (possible) storm of kitchen reno controversy, what’s with stainless steel appliances? They actually don’t look any nicer than white to me, and boy, do fingermarks show up..,

  • Janice says:

    Ugh. I live someplace where it doesn’t even snow but I still occasionally have nightmares about driving in fog, or being really, really, really lost. On the other hand, never having gone through a kitchen remodel, I think that part almost sounds like fun. If I ever actually do it I’ll probably have nightmares about that instead….

  • taleofahare says:

    I adore your rants. You put things so eloquently and exactly how you feel them. TY for being real!! And no shit, driving in winter is the crappiest chore ever. Ice, wind, snow, and you even had fog. WTF? I think you definitely deserve 4 weeks of time off, not 3. And, you should have a new kitchen and something else that needed fixin’ when you return from your sojourning in a more hospitable part of the world 🙂 Thank you again for an awesome post…

  • Queen Cupcake says:

    Sweet chickens in the snow! I’m stealing that one. And sending all of my prayers and good vibes for a great outcome on the kitchen. It’ll work out, you’ll see.

    My rant (don’t read if you are not in the mood): I’m cranky, having to face the fact (first I wrote “face the fat”) that I need to go to a gym or other such workout place, and went after work to check out a few. The first one I looked at resembled a large factory and was filled with very muscular, highly tattooed and unnaturally tanned persons. I stopped in at a second one after work which is for women only. It seems okay, although the walls were all painted an intense pink. Except for the locker room, which is purple. Barbie’s dream gym. I hate exercise with a passion, and can only hope I will be able to do it enough to start feeling better. Then maybe my brain will make friends with the big bag of fat that takes it around to places like home and work. Hmmph.

    Today I am wearing Moss & Ivy by For Strange Women.


  • Kandice says:

    Oh dear. I hate to laugh at your troubles, but your posts are always hilarious no matter what. Hang in there. Everything will get better. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. While not going through kitchen remodel, the winter is taking it’s toll. If I don’t see the sun soon, who knows what might happen! Best of luck with everything, stay safe, and thanks for making us all smile.

  • Peppermoon says:

    If anything, this is a great endorsement for Diaghilev, if it was able to get you through all of this craziness! Maybe Roja’s ridiculous prices are worth it…

  • Vanie says:

    I had to stay in my apartment while the kitchen was being redone, and let me tell ya: Never. Again.
    If you can go away for the three weeks (it’s gonna take longer than you thought, though… Sorry! But it always does!), then that’s a whole bunch of fighting avoided!

  • leathermountain says:

    You made me laugh, and I can relate to the lifeline quality of Diaghilev.

  • Connie says:

    What to tell you, other than that ‘this too shall pass’… 😉

  • Ann says:

    Lord love a duck and bless your heart, darling A! I feel so badly for you, having been in your shoes (not the kitchen part, but lost and panicky and THIS close to hysteria), and yet I feel guilty for wanting to laugh at your dilemmas. Your ability to rant humorously is unparalleled! And I very nearly spewed my tea (again!), with “Sweet chickens in the snow”! Mercy! On days like this, I am CERTAIN that you were a top-notch stand-up comedian in another life. Hang in there, sweetie — I’ll be sending good thoughts and prayers your way. And tattoo “Spring is coming” on your forehead 🙂

  • bevfred says:

    You are the best ranter in the world. I thought i was pretty good but you put me in the shade. I love a good rant because it unloads a lot of feelings but if done with humor it’s sublime.
    I’m with you on winter sista; I live in Canada.
    Do take care.

  • Peggy says:

    I love your posts, Musette, and am only writing this because you are in need of support! We have been trapped inside with an Irish Wolfhound puppy during a most hideous ice storm, which toppled a tree and sheared pine branches–yucko yucko. Plus, poisoned self with a blast of Folle de Joie, which refused to die. Take heart–Daylight Savings Time starts this weekend, and Accuweather says that Meteorological Spring has already begun!

  • poodle says:

    Yes, a hundred times yes! My question was “what part of I don’t want an effin’ island don’t you understand?”
    All is still quiet here on the kitchen front. We’ve been snowed in and it’s too damn cold to go walking through the granite yard to pick a counter. I’ll have to do it soon though. Although with the snow, there’s no where to put a dumpster so I may have quite a few weeks to to enjoy before anything begins.
    Driving on ice is the worst. I’ll take snow any day. Glad you made it home okay.

  • Julie L says:

    We have basically the same weather so I can commiserate. “Sweet chickens in the snow”-ha ha! Let’s create a perfume with that name, shall we?! Yeah, I’m terrified of getting lost too and never never ever go on the interstate. EVER. Right now my biggest terror is driving this morning to work in this crap we got going out there…ice, freezing drizzle, all on top of a nice big snowpack. Yep, it’s exciting, isn’t it ?. Boo. My biggest prayer is that my car hasn’t slid backwards down our driveway when I go out there. 🙂

    Congratulations to the winners!!! Yay for you!!

  • Portia says:

    I love you Musette.
    Portia x

  • Audrey H. says:

    Somewhat traumatic day, in a FWP way. Cleared out my lovingly DIYd makeup vanity and readied it for sale, probably tomorrow. All my stuff in in bins and my perfumes are just a couple of feet off the floor. We’re relocating in a few months so stuffs gotta go. I swear I heard soft sad violins playing earlier…. ahh well gotta keep cleaning and clearing stuff out.

  • Tiffanie says:

    No kitchen bar means no kitchen bar to pay for. Best selling point for empty space — it’s freeeeeee!

    Be safe out there in the cold. Spring’s coming.

  • silvrolive says:

    Seems like every kitchen renovation includes an island or a breakfast bar these days! Maybe it’s a fear of open space? Who knows. Good luck with the renovation, though!
    I am drowning myself in Safran Troublant because it’s too cold and winter blues…it makes me happy 🙂

    • odonata9 says:

      I think you may be on to something – I think it is more fear of wasted space. We have this space – let’s put something there!

  • Aurora says:

    So after a terrible weekend of fighting with my significant other, (I swear we never rehash issues to death like this) he actually admitted to his brain being tiny and little during his apology. my god if he could have only decided to come to terms with his (and my) shortcomings Before my birthday it could have been a much different weekend… le sigh*
    So you are not alone in the land of what the heck is he thinking ???
    On another note, you may come to know me as the mystic of your forum, as I adore following trends in the stars and I have news about the latest solar flare this week. Thursday and Friday any telecommunications happening by way of satellite may be affected by the huge solar wave hitting earth directly at that time. the radiation isn’t powerful enough to get through our ozone, but anything beyond is going to get glitched. So be sure to map quest the old fashioned way before venturing into new territory! Best of luck! xx

  • Donna S says:

    Watch those 2×4’s during remodeling adventures. They can be tempting. Lol. What fun you are to read as you drum up all of us. Keep plugging through there and you’ll be in Spring and new kitchen before you know it!!!

  • Pixel says:

    Woot! I’m a winnah!! will send you my info soonest.

    If I start in on construction drama stories we will be here For Some Time. I will treat you to one choice one: our living room is post and beam. or so we thought. Pulled off the siding to replace the windows and discovered that it was beam and NO posts. Yup 12×16 beams were resting on plain ol 2×4 stud framing. Not even doubled-up 2×4’s. Welllll that would explain why the roof was sagging.

    And then there was one county department that wouldn’t give us a permit unless we re-routed our downspouts to run off to the east. Meanwhile a different department wouldn’t give us a permit unless we re-routed our downspouts to run… you guessed it… west. Oh joy.

    FeralJasmine, I may be joining you in your lovely cell on Thursday. I’m in Austin on business, due to fly back home Thursday, which is when Austin is scheduled for an ice storm. Yee ha!

  • Rincoglionita says:

    Bless your heart. And that was an epic rant.

    We are on pins and needles, as this Jayhawks game is in overtime, and the Mister is about to lose his mind.

    And we are preparing the house to put it on the market in April, which is almost as bad as FOOTINGS. And my dream house went on the market three days ago, at least two months prematurely.

    Happy Girls Day, everyone!

  • Caroline says:

    3 weeks, haha. But I commend you on your optimism! We’ve discussed the n shore before (your old stomping grounds?)–today as I was passing through Bannockburn, I spotted a minivan with the vanity plates MUSETTE. I figured some other Illinoisan hijacked your moniker–even MapQuest can’t be that lame. Glad you had your Diaghilev armor, at least.

  • AllGirlMafia says:

    You’re too hard on yourself. I didn’t think the post last week was lame. It was fun and kinda creative. And as for the kitchen- its a big deal! Its part of your home the place you prepare yourself to greet the day ahead as well as the place that welcomes you back when you’ve had enough of said world. you have the right to freak out. It willsoon pass and you’ll look back on this and laugh.

  • foxbins says:

    Oh my! You have a bad case of the Holly Golightly Mean Reds! They do tend to strike at this time of year, so I am sure you are not alone. On the bright side, spring IS coming and soon the winter will be just a memory.

    I have no clue about the peninsula issue but I trust that she who cooks will win.

  • FeralJasmine says:

    Everyone needs a rant once in a while. If only you had posted this last week, when I was stuck in a Texas airport for over 30 hours, you would have gotten a return rant. But I have killed the airline executives involved and am kicking back in a nice quiet cell for a few decades.
    Just kidding! I would never kill over a travel delay. Now perfumes with cucumber AND melon notes, plus some ozone, that’s a different matter and worth the legal penalty. So just watch it, perfumers of the Fresh’nClean persuasion.
    Get some rest, Miss M.

  • LaDona says:

    Well, the grass is always greener…or the snow colder. I’m on the west coast and would kill to have a season. Hell, I’d give my husband’s left testicle for one clap of thunder. One. We had a wet weekend, and I kept thinking, “Man, I miss those rip-snorting, gully-washing, tornado spawning thunderstorms of my questionable Texas youth.” Then I remember how God-awful hot those summers were, and start looking for my sunscreen and flip-flops. I’ll send all the warm juju I can your way…or maybe you should make yourself a delicious salty margarita, spray yourself with something tropical, and sit on a heater vent? Just thinkin out loud, here.

  • carlene says:

    It is supposed to be 40 degrees this weekend. I can’t think of anything better to tell you. 🙂

  • Jennie says:

    Hi Musette

    My best advice for kitchen renovations it to get yourself a female kitchen designer, i.e. someone who designs AND actually uses a kitchen for real (apologies to any males who run their own kitchens). If the advice from the designer is “no breakfast bar” your other half may pay more attention. Sad, but true. I lived through a kitchen renovation that started with my husband saying “the only place you can put the sink/fridge/dishwasher/you-name-it is X”. Guess what, there’s never only one way to do things and I got a lot more cooperation from him when the professional kitchen designer said so too. Good luck, and remember the best part is when the job is over.

  • Sara Dorman says:

    You crack me up! ???? It will turn out beautifully, I have no doubt. In the meantime, I totally appreciate all of your olfactory posts! ????

  • Soon enough, you’re going to have an amazing kitchen. 🙂 And hopefully there will be no breakfast bar! I do love your inspiration kitchen – it reminds me a bit of my kitchen (we were lucky to have bought a house with a ridiculously renovated kitchen), but ours doesn’t have a backsplash yet, and I’d like to add one. The white subway tile in your photo looks nice. I love brick and I’d love to do a whitewash brick backsplash, but it’s a huge pain putting up brick tiles and they’re not easy to clean splatters off, so white is probably a bad choice…

    Also, are you interested in having the off color island? Ours is off color (a light blue with white carrera marble, whereas the rest of the kitchen is stained wood with black carrera marble) and it really looked hideous until we painted the walls blue (to match the island). [if you care to see the pre/post paint kitchen, In your inspiration picture it looks fine though.

    Good luck! Someday the weather will get better too. 🙂

  • greennote2 says:

    Love it when you rant Musette 🙂

    In five years time the kitchen will be fabulous. Right now it’s painful, but it will be good.