Winners and Whiners and a Giveaway!

Well!  And how’s THAT for an intriguing headline, eh?


The Winners part:  La Pays de la Fleurs d’Orange giveaway from Beautyhabit!  Spring..Pansy!  Koyel!  Akatchoom!  Gmail the Evilauntieanita with your details and I will get the  lovely scents out to you!

The Whiners part:  Me.  Me.  and …well, me.

After the lovely, hot-as-balls trip to Santa Fe I came home to a garden that looks like something out of Jurassic Park.  And a new bedroom window.  Note to self:  never leave in July.  It’s one of those weird gardening months in that Everything Happens.  One of my peach trees ripened all in a day and we had to get them picked NOW! before the Japanese Beetles found them; we lucked out – only 1 in 10 had beetle damage.  Those vicious little freaks are the bane of my existence and the only thing I enjoy more than killing them is killing a LOT of them!  They are tearing into the tender skins of my nectarines and it’s hand-to-claw combat each evening, trying to rip their shiny little heads off before they can burrow into the ripening fruit.  I’m not squicked out enough to destroy fruit that has a few JB chunks taken out but it would be nice to have at least some blemish-free to give to friends.  So I’m up at o’dark-thirty, taking almost ready nectarine off the branches and bringing them in to finish ripening.  The flies are loving that but at least I don’t have ants, right?

Scent of the Day:  Stone Fruit.  Sticky, cloying, gorgeous, glorious – and an ‘unusual’ scent.  I sprayed some vintage Mitsouko, hoping to identify the ‘peach’ note that is so celebrated.  I love Mitsouko but I confess to not being able to deconstruct it – but perhaps that’s the beauty of it!  I catch elusive whiffs of a peachlike note but I can’t identify it alongside an actual peach.  Perhaps it’s the blossom?  They are fragrant, indeed, but not easily identifiable – at least not to this pedestrian nose.  Real peaches?  Don’t wanna wear them – but I’m in the middle of peeling a bushel of them so I’m wearing it whether I want to or not.

Meanwhile…during my week away we had 100F heat and torrential rains which is why T-Rex is out there stomping and roaring in the vegetation.  My lilies went freakin’ BONKERS!  Casa Blanca, never the shyest in the bunch, threw a fit with at least 12 blooms.  Twelve.  One of the most fragrant of lilies with 12beautiful12 blooms.  Because of the intense heat I cut the stems and brought them inside.  ‘Does your house smell like a funeral home?’ I was asked.  ‘No.  No it doesn’t.  It smells like a brothel’ – and it does (my mom’s aunt ran a high-end brothel and my mom used to describe the scent of that house).  Imagine all that perfumed flesh, with a hint of powder, a touch of rank sweat, floral soap and intense sexuality.  All in my living room.  I feel like I should break out the Manolos and the red lipstick!images


Oh!  The window.  Why am I whining about the brand-new window that I asked for?  Well…it’s in, it’s gorgeous.  But El O took down the hardware for the blinds….and I can’t find the Summer curtains!  Um.  It’s….weird.  Sleeping in front of a not-covered window. On the ground floor. It’s just weird.  I’m that creeped-out gal who closes the blinds at the first hint of dusk.  Can you imagine?  This is really freaking me out.   I can’t find ANY of my Summer curtains.  This is a very small house.  They are not upstairs and the only thing in the basement is a disoriented toad and the remnants of my shattered dreams (it’s kinda spooky down there, though I suspect it is now bug free!)

Tell you what:  drop a comment re where my curtains might be (and/or whether I should maybe sleep on the floor until I find them) – I’ll pull a couple of winners and send out some goodies!  How can you lose curtains in a tiny house?

  • Michele Carvalho says:

    I hate when I put something away so that I will find it easily when I need it, then I forget where I put them? The most logical place I think would be in the linen closet, prob under all those winter blankets.

  • PJ says:

    Go buy new ones. You’ll find your others within hours. You know this works! lol

  • Cheryl W. says:

    I bet they are under the couch cushions. You must have had the brilliant idea to press them by sitting on the couch, thus multitasking. Good luck finding them, don’t sleep on the floor, your body will regret it later, trust me. 🙂

  • Lemoncake says:

    When I can’t find some piece of linen it’s usually under the sink in the laundry room (where I keep things I plan to iron). Hate to admit it but I’ve found things that have been sitting there waiting to be ironed for a year.

  • mikasminion says:

    Count me in among the folk who think they’re in the guest room closet or under the bed in a box of jeans you thought you’d donated ten years ago.
    We don’t have a problem with Japanese beetles, but nobody but the f-ing raccoons have had a ripe piece of home-grown fruit this year. They stripped the heavily laden peach tree while we were gone one weekend (and I hope they had diarrhea for a week), and have torn into every fig that has begun to turn. They don’t wait until things are ripe enough to pick either. At least you can catch and kill a few bugs to relieve your rage.

  • Pixel says:

    Welp if I’m missing linens, they’re (a) on top of the dryer (b) mistakenly down in the basement with the ‘car towels’ or (c) got given away accidentally.

    …but ha, I have no curtains in most of my windows, which freaks out the in-laws when they visit. We’re out in the sticks and the neighbors across the canyon would need binocs to see in, so I don’t worry about it. 2 points for them, if they see anything fun.

    Coal room!!! I used to live in a converted schoolhouse in the northeast, it had an enormous old coal room with the cast iron door outside for the chute. Old ripply glass on the windows, and horrifying heating bills in the winter. We’d have been glad to have that old coal fired furnace instead of our ridiculous electric heat pump.

  • jackie b says:

    What a great read over my morning cup of tea! I have recurring nightmares about basements, one of my childhood houses had a veritable maze of baement rooms, always smelled odd.
    Don’t worry about your curtains, they will show up the minute you buy the new ones!

  • rickyrebarco says:

    The curtains are probably wrapped in tissue paper with some clothes. With out of season clothes or in the linen closet! Big vote for top shelf in linen closet.

  • maggiecat says:

    Top shelf, guest room closet? That’s where I hide stuff from myself anyway…good luck! I can’t even sleep in front of an uncovered window when there’s no chance anyone could see in so I appreciate your dilemma.

  • Ellen M says:

    Funny, funny, funny! I don’t have summer and winter curtains, so that settles that problem, but if I did, they would be somewhere in the linen closet. Japanese beetles eat my roses and I hate them for it. Knowing someone who actually ran a brothel is really cool. I also have lilies, but they are not blooming as much as yours are. I’m jealous.

  • Musette says:

    omg. You weirdos! I love you ALL! I haven’t laughed this hard since….um…last night, when I was walking The Girl, obsessing about those blasted curtains…then a little voice said “MORONG! Put up a sheet and get the hell over the damn curtains!!” – and so I did – after I stopped laughing at my singlemindedness. Can you believe it took me TWO NIGHTS to figure it out? And the funny thing is, there is actually little less visibility since I keep the window about 6″ open – I think it’s psychological, like painting the porch ceilings blue to mimic the sky (to deter insects)…..something about having the window uncovered….it’s covered now and I slept like a velociraptor.

    omg. I love you guys!


  • SamanthaL says:

    I’m with the others…you maybe mixed them in with some other linens, pull everything out! Did your aunt live in Nevada? We’re perversely proud of our brothels here, or at least the fact that we can have them…something like that!! I hope you find your curtains 🙂

  • pats133 says:

    Ha. I think you brought the curtains to get dry-cleaned or to the laundrette and forgot to pick them up. They will turn up in the last place you would think of to look. Have you a big wooden box where you store ‘what-nots’ …. i have a feeling they are in there.

  • HeidiC says:

    Mitsouko! Brothels! The Case of the Missing Curtains! Murdering Japanese Beetles! This post has everything!

    I’m going to guess that the curtains are down in the laundry — maybe you took the opportunity to wash them and forgot about them?

  • Sapphire says:

    If it was me, I probably would have put the curtains in a box under the bed or in a closet in a room of the house that doesn’t get used much (like in the guest room) or maybe even one of the boys’ rooms. The key to finding them will undoubtedly be buying new ones and getting them hung up!

  • rosarita313 says:

    Oh Ms A, grab a sheet or blanket or tablecloth and tack cover that thing. I couldn’t stand sleeping with a bare window. As to the whereabouts of your curtains, didn’t you guys do a kitchen remodel a couple years ago? Maybe they got put in with your kitchen stuff by mistake. Or the top shelf of the spare room closet?

  • March says:

    We’ve already yarked about this — I came home and the wild grape and morning glories had covered everything. And I can only deal until around 9am and then eff it, it’s too hot. Your curtains? Lesseee…… the toad in the basement has them? Beetles ate them? Bear used them to wipe some oil from the Harley? A velociraptor stole them. They are smooshed up in the bottom of wherever you keep your blankets. Good luck.

  • Holly says:

    Maybe your curtains are at the dry cleaners? Or stashed somewhere to donate (car trunk?) or in a rag pile … or craft corner … or were stolen! while you were on vaca…or in a rarely seen to-be-ironed pile or under your mattress as an ironing substitute or in the freezer as a washing substitute. I could keep going so do keep us informed 🙂

  • Queen Cupcake says:

    Are you sure you still have those curtains, Musette? You didn’t give them away, or turn them into paint tarps…? I want to live in a house that will never require curtains; but I might still want them anyway! Loved the scent image of the brothel… XOXOX

  • Connie says:

    In the laundry!

  • poodle says:

    Check the linen closet. You might have thought during a fit of cleaning that that was a logical place for them. If I couldn’t find my summer curtains I can guarantee you the winter ones would be up until I did. No way could I sleep with an uncovered window.
    My garden is starting to look like hell. We need rain badly. Lots of it.

  • Koyel says:

    Good heavens, a great-aunt who ran a brothel and a toad in the basement. You lead a much more storied life than I.

    I agree with the idea of putting stuff on the windows–bed sheets, towels, parchment paper, etc. But it might be fun to pull out some sleeping bags and “camp out” on the ground, too 🙂

    • Musette says:

      I just called my prima in DFW to confirm – and yes, she was a madam. So my mami did NOT lie! I will get more info and write a post for all you nosey parkers out there 😉 xoxooxoA

  • Shiva-woman says:

    Best Posse Post! I’m a gardener so can identify with the NOW! While you are plucking your peaches and dabbing Mitsouko, and smelling glorious and brothel-like, I’m canning tomatoes and salsa. Delicious? Yes. Smells terrific? No. I too want to know more about great auntie. I think the curtains are in between towels, maybe under a towel set. However, perhaps in the meantime you could go with a boho sarong or two. Maybe a few fancy light scarves, tasteful and chic tacked down, lightly scented with some sandalwood or patch. Or, Mitsouko…

  • Nemo says:

    I must confess, I am super curious to learn more about your mom’s aunt and the high-end brothel!! I am not entirely sure I would want my living room to smell like one, though (maybe the bedroom though? :))

  • Das says:

    My money’s on: You’ve given the summer curtains away to charity. It happens to me. I have something around for years that I never use (sounds like you did use these but maybe you decided to get new ones and never got around to it?) Finally send it off to charity and forget I did that. Then I spend an hour looking for it later. I may actually have to start taking photos of more of these kinds of things to remember it all!
    Oh gawd no. Put a sheet or paper towels or foil up right now! I don’t care how trashy it might look for a week. Better than thinking iffy people can catch you unawares at night!! Especially if your house is close enough to the street to peer into the room. 😮 🙂

  • Nelle says:

    The curtains could be tucked in with your winter or summer bedsheets in a closet or box, I always find something that I forgot I owned mixed in with my bed linens.

  • The curtains are in a box in the attic/basement/garage. I feel it in my bones!

  • Sarah says:

    Haven’t a clue where your curtains could be. I do COMPLETELY understand drawing all shades or curtains at dusk. How you are sleeping without the window covered is beyond me. Get that sheet up.
    After having my roses overtaken by Japanese beetles my Dad taught me to throw them in a small container of amonia and water. They make a satisfying pop.

  • eldarwen says:

    How old is your house? If

    • eldarwen says:

      Sorry about that. I’m getting used to a new Kindle. If it’s one of those homes that back in the day was heated with coal, in your basement, you should have a little room that stored coal, maybe they are there or in a crawl space.

      • March says:

        the coal cellar OH MY GOD. The house I grew up in had one (with coal still in it, and lots of spiders and whatnot.) As kids we used to dare each other to crawl in there. It’s right out of a horror movie.

        • rosarita313 says:

          Our tiny midwestern bungalow is almost 120 years old and that’s our basement, exactly. I haven’t been down there since we bought the house. Every time there’s a tornado warning it’s a struggle just to crouch in the stairwell, it’s that bad.

          • Musette says:

            you FREAKS! with the coal cellar! My abuela had one of those and a few years ago my cousin organized a family reunion at the house; even though the basement had been finished, even though we are all 50+ yrs old, even though… was funny: to a cousin – ever. stinkin’ one of us. we all looked at the door of the basement like it was Yellowcake.

  • Patty Pong says:

    Did you look in a box under the bed? I would only sleep on the floor inside a sleeping bag. =o|

  • Tiffanie says:

    Ha! I live in a tiny house, and when I can’t find something I assume I threw it away in a fit of decluttering or hid it from myself in a fit of tidying. And the less I think about it the faster that something will reappear.

    Years ago when I moved into a curtain-less bedroom I put a favorite printed bed sheet up with thumbtacks as a temporary window covering. I used a big hair clip to fasten the sheet out of the way during the day. It was cute for a few weeks until I had time for a more permanent solution.

    I wouldn’t sleep on the floor because BEETLES! 🙂