Food Coma

My darlings – I got nuthin.  Nuthin’ but FOOD!!!  I had to hop over to a friend’s last night – she had emergency surgery  and her biggest fear was that she would starve to death during recovery! And I’m the only one of her friends who cooks.  I was going to make the chow at my house but that’s a whole ‘nother level of heinous grab-ass that I just don’t want to deal with; people (myself included) rarely feel comfy just returning clean dishes, y’know?   They’ve gotta send them back with stuff in it.  But if you’re busted – AND YOU DON’T COOK ANYWAY – well, you know where this could go, right?

So I went over to her house.

To a kitchen with two working electric burners, an induction plate (which was my first foray into induction – omg!  more on that when I get my nerves back in order) – I kept thinking I’d broken it.  I’d’ve done better to just cook over a wood fire, sweatergawd.  Primitive Me.)  … and a 14×17″ oven that is straight outta 1929.  My liver quivered.  But I prevailed.

In 5 hours, under HELLISH (okay, just kinda weird) conditions,  I made:

3 gallons of beef stew (and yes, I cut my own chuck roast because I am a freak like that)

2 gallons of chicken pot pie (she can throw a biscuit on top and have at it)

SO many carrots chopped.  So much celery.  So many onions.  All I gotta say is Thank Floyd for frozen peas!  (and yes, next time I will get the frozen bags of carrots & peas.  Who knew? Frozen carrots now seem perfectly legit to me!)

3 gallons of mac ‘n cheese — taught the kids how to make cheese sauce from scratch – feelin’ mighty righteous about that 😉 and OMG!!!  MY NEW LOVE:

The most perfect braiser EVAH!!!!  this one is hers, so I didn’t take it – I just ‘bayed one in blue, though.  Can’t hardly wait for it to hit my doorstep.  Where’s that drone when you need it!?

A giant baker of broccoli souffle.

Another giant baker of spinach souffle (you know how pain meds work – gotta get some dark leafys in you, keep that colon moving along).

A vatload of custard (and gave the kids a tutorial on how to make custard from scratch) – custard is her ‘I’m busted’ go-to but when somebody has cut open your back, the act of whisking is not on the agenda.  She works 12hr days to keep those little fiends sheltered, clothed and fed – they can whisk together a damb custard for her, dagnabbit.

And I taught the kids* how to make cheesy potato soup in the slow cooker

• *15 and 16 so it’s not like I turned some 4 year old loose in the kitchen.  Jeebus!  I’m mean, but I’m not a savage!

In the Get Off My Lawn category:  did you know there is an entire generation of kids who have no concept of how to operate a manual can opener?   Seriously.

Yes, I am a cookin’ FIEND!  But that means I got zilch in terms of a review – or even a coherent post.

What I DO have, however, is a giveaway, because y’all are just too sweet – seriously.  I’m patting myself all over my now-floury back and you are reading about it!  So, thank you!  I’m dashing up to WI shortly (one of our clients had an explosion at their plant, so we are called in) so next week I will combine the last post’s winners with this pending one – sorry!  TWO WEEKS FROM NOW.  Jeebus.  I made the damb rule, the least I could do is follow it, right?