Clearing House

So.  Well.  Okay, I guess I should just get to it.  So.  Back in October my life took a really fast left turn – for awhile it looked like a disaster for me – but as y’all who read this blog regularly know, it turned out just foine for me and The Girl.  El O has moved out – and on – (to a galaxy far, far away) and I bought and kept the house, which is a blessing, since who really wants to have to bounce at the onset of Winter, with limited simoleans, a 4BR house’s worth of furniture and 130-lbs of teeth, right?  It’s a little shotgun shack but it’s now MY (and Jane’s) shotgun shack, it keeps the rain off our heads and we’re okay.

So.  This all jelled (gelled?) from his offer to the closin in less than a week and after that it was all about getting him packed and out of here – that happened in stages through to Christmas and is now finished – at least as regards the house)  – the other stuff will happen soon and doesn’t really have to involve me overmuch, since my people still don’t trust me not to bludgeon him.

But! The House is what I want to talk about today – this was a Very Ugly Transition, for absurd reasons best left unsaid (until I write that screenplay – and Floyd KNOWS I’mo do it, yes I will!!!) – and once he was out of here, I was desperate to get the aura cleansed and everything emotionally ‘righted’.  March and I discussed smudging (of which I am a huge fan) but the leaving occurred just as the first blizzard hit, so there was no way I could subject my sinuses to a round of smoke in a closed house.  I scrubbed every nook and cranny with vinegar, to neutralize , which was great – except then the house smelled like vinegar – and still smelled of fury.  Not a good combo.

So I turned to flowers.  And essential oils….that smelled of flowers.

And diffusers.  And wax melts.

And…vi-OLA!  Suddenly, what had smelled of fury and murderous rage (mine) and the cleanup of a crime scene (which didn’t happen, blessed be – but we came close.  Maybe sometime I’ll tell you about how I came to have a metal pipe in my grip and how, suddenly, I found myself gently cattle-dogged by a friend right the hell out of my own garage!  with the pipe somehow magically removed from my grasp!  Well, there.  I just told you! still don’t know how that happened – but I’m glad it did)……. well, after all the wax started melting, suddenly I found that I LOVED walking into the rooms of this house, no anxiety, no fear that I would finally snap, leap upon him and rip his throat out with my fangs….just…peace.

What did I use?  Well!  I always have Trapp Bob’s Flower Shoppe diffusers around the house but as I had them for the 10 Years of Despair I didn’t want to use that beloved, but familiar, scent.  I’d bought some Fresh Cut Tuberose and Golden Cypress wax melts back when I was at the Mothership in July – and December seemed like a perfect time to light ’em up!  O.M.G.  Separately, they are incredible!  Mixed together in a melter (with 2/3 tuberose to 1/3 cypress) it gives a Carnal Flower vibe that is stunning!

Agraria’s Citrus & Lily room spray and diffuser – this is a collaboration with Monique Lhuillier and is everything that I love in a lily: rich, unctuous…but undercut with a sharp green slice.

Interestingly, I’d bought the room spray and diffuser way earlier in the year, before this whole drama exploded, but refused to use them – I think I knew this was going to happen (not persackly like it did – but Life gets giggly sometimes) …. it is now the Smell of Freedom for me.  And beauty.  And, like Bob Trapp’s wax melts, Peace.

And I’m sure I’ll be back to Bob’s Flower Shoppe in short order.   It’s too gorgeous a scent (the smell of a florist’s cool room) for me to give up.  I just need to let some time go by.

But you know the best smell of all?  The smell of Love Love of friends and family who rallied around me and Jane, as we navigated this shift (okay, just me.  Jane is a 130-lb predator and she would’ve been fine in the car – or a prison cell – as long as I was at her side).  Friends, like Saturdays Francine, who trained all the way down here and brought me a gorgeous solar windchime, to celebrate my not having to leave my garden.

makes me smile!

My bfffe who lent me the simoleans to make up the balance on the fast (4days, CASH!) house buy (and my other very dear friend who, when it looked like bfffe’s check might be late, said ‘squoo that!  if you don’t have it by Monday am, lmk and I will wire that dough into your account.  you’re closing Wednesday no matter what!!’ can you imagine?  I was verklempt.  And humbled.  And honoured.  And even more verklempt.) – then bffe visited for a few days,, got my electronics sorted out and made the transition seem ‘normal’, just by hanging out and yakking about Nothing.  And…omg…. my new office!  made FABULOUS by the gift of these amazing silk curtains -I hated the very sight of this room, Chez El O, and now?  It’s a gorgeous, comfy, south-facing place to be productive and peaceful all at the same time!

aren’t these STUNNING?!!?

And all of you, who knew zip about the details, but still took a mo’ to send good vibes to me – if you think that was taken lightly, think again!  It takes a village, a global village, to get folks through trials and tribulations – your giving of your time and concern to support me through this really did help!  Thank you all!

Footnote:  the dust has mostly settled and my murderous rage has abated – El O and I are not scheduled to EVAH be friends but I am  to a point of polite disinterest –  no fond thoughts but I wouldn’t leave him to drown in a freezing river, either.  I’m just happy to be able to move forward in my own life, with my goofy, Giant dog and all these amazing smells helping me navigate my days!  Especially the smell of LOVE.  Caring.  Giving a damb (even if it’s just a phone call to say ‘how the f*ck are ya, today, you evil bish?’ (which one of my primas actually said to me! I’m still laughing about that!).  Y’all dropping a line here on the P to ask that very thing (albeit a whole lot more ‘civilized’ ;-)…… those are the things that get us through our days.  I hope to always be there for others, even if it’s just to ask them ‘how the eff are ya today?’  Because I think it really does make a difference – it did for me!


and…wow!  My House (MY house!) is full of flowers and flower smells – it smells GREAT! and it feels like LOVE!  Which is what I wish for all of you, as we traverse this thing called Life.   We are in this Life together and we are all deserving of Love.


When things go awry, what smells do you use to cleanse the aura?

  • Jennifer S says:

    Wow. What a trip! So glad for you that inner peace is realized and what a great feeling to start out a brand new year with Anita. Peaceful surroundings. Ahhhh. Enjoy!

  • Ann says:

    This post made me tear up and then laugh with joy, darling!! So, so happy for you that this all worked out, you got to keep the house and have transformed it into a wonderful (and wonderful smelling) place you love! Been thinking of you and praying for you through the long haul and so glad it has all worked out! Many hugs and much love, dear!

  • Dina C. says:

    So glad that this new, fresh year is spreading out before you, and you are filled with such hope and good spirits, Anita. Your flower-ful rooms sound delightful! Sending you hugs and loving pats to Jane.

    • Musette says:

      thank you!  This really is a nice beginning to a new year!  Jane sends a hug to you (she’s a great hugger, really 😉



  • Koyel says:

    I am so happy the dust has settled <3 Me? I like to go outside and smell living flowers and leaves and plants and earth and fresh mulch. Then I bring that calm and peace with me indoors.

    • Musette says:

      Doll, that is my panacaea as well (though right now it’s a visit to a frozen, grey wasteland).  When I get a bit (more) nuts, I drive to the Big Box store (that starts with an L) and go into their sunroom – interestingly I’m not the only one!  There are people who go in there with their phones and tablets and work!  I LOVE it!


  • Pam says:

    Geez, Musette/Anita, I wrote you a nice bunch of words last night– and they got et by the computer! Dang! But please know I’m sending good and positive thoughts to you and The Girl. 

    • Musette says:

      those words are floating around in the ether, inspiring me and others!  Technology is NOT MY FRIEND right now – everything is at sixes and sevens – but I really do appreciate your good words and thoughts, Pam!  xoxoxo

  • Portia says:

    Big changes as Chez Musette,

    Sounds like you are getting it all under control and moving forward.
    It must have been so stressful love. I don’t like change at the best of times, this kind of thing sends me loopy loo.
    Hugs and love,
    Portia xxx

    • Musette says:

      Snickerdoodle, it has been a SLOG, lemmetellya.  But I am the poster child for ‘what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger’ – I’d given (voluntarily) so much of my power away, for no reason, and am now realizing it and rectifying it and it feels GREAT!  I think too many of us get bogged down in ‘I can’t’ when we should be saying ‘oh, what the hell’ and just do (or at least ‘try’)  xoxoxo

  • Rustee45 says:

    Oh holy hockey sticks, sounds like you’ve been through the wringer but came out ok on the other side.  I, too have a 230-lb albatross, so I can only imagine how much your blood pressure must have taken a dive unloading that dead weight.  Soon it will be nice enough to get out there in the fresh air and enjoy what nature provides.  Best wishes to you.

    • Anita says:

      thank you!  My mail carrier said ‘wow you look like a huge weight is off your shoulders’ – a friend commented ‘yeah.  about 260#LOL!’  

      It feels GOOD!


  • Neva says:

    Oh Musette…been there, done that, so I know it’s NOT easy. Good to know you’ve made it through the hardest part. Such occasions help us to find out who our true friends are, how strong we actually are, how wonderful it is to have a home, our pets, our perfumes and much more. Hugs!

    • Anita says:

      Neva, weird as this is gonna sound…. it’s knowing that others have gone through this (and not only survived but thrived!) that makes it so much easier.  I am no fan of reinventing any wheels that work, so….  it’s good to hear about others who have been there, done that! 😉



  • March says:

    This was SUCH A WILD RIDE.  Jeebus Mouse, as Amy Perfume says.  Let’s not do all that again, right?!?!  BUT.  It has turned out sooo well, I think of you tucked in there safe and snug with the girl and it makes my heart siiiiing!  xo

    • Anita says:

      that’s Jeebus FROSTED Mouse to you, li’l missy! 😉  But yes – and I couldn’t have done it without you, darlin’ (and no… we do not EVAH want to do this again.  EVAH).  xoxoxoA

  • cazaubon says:

    Having been through two unpleasant divorces myself, I feel you. So glad to hear you have transformed your space and were lifted up when you needed it most by those who love you. All I could do was send positive energy your way but I’m glad it helped. We’re all in this together. Fragrant bussis to you!

    • Anita says:

      Hon, that ‘positive energy’ helped SO much!  This was like a grenade being thrown in my lap, vis a vis all the immediate changes/ financial drama, whereas the first one wasn’t so much – and that one wasn’t unpleasant – so I was unprepared for such UGLINESS!  But that’s okay – good things come to those who aren’t assholes!  At least I hope that’s how that goes 😉