Lowered Expectations

Posse –  eons ago I ran into a neighbor/friend at our local hardware store.  He is a well-known professional musician, so I was stunned to find him in the hinge section, looking for stuff to fix a door ( I just figured he sat in his studio every day, making music while doves brought him lunch (shrug).  Asking him about it, he replied ‘you know… music is so very open to interpretation, each musician or producer has their own point of view, etc, etc… and you can work on the same piece forever and still never get everyone to agree on What is Right.  Whereas a door is simple: it’s off the hinge.  You go buy a new hinge and rehang the door.  Vi-ola!  Problem solved.  It’s a very calming process. (and okay – maybe he didn’t say ‘vi-ola’ but it’s my post so I’m going with it here).

Thinking about that, as I struggle (STILL!) with this stupid face drama.  It’s kiiiinda healing – maybe – but there’s obviously something other than the chemical burn going on – and that is why I am going to the allergist in 2 weeks (I’d go tomorrow morning but … I dunno… they don’t seem to really understand the urgency of getting my face fixed.   Le sigh.  Then again, I’m not the welder who just sustained serious thermal burns when a room full of ethanol off-gas exploded… so I’mma just sit here, shut the hell up… and wait for 2 weeks)

But! While I’m waiting I’m staying slightly stoned – not the ‘good ganja’ type of stoned, alas (and don’t think I wouldn’t!) , rather this is the ‘vaguely sloooow’ stoned from an antihistamine inhalant – it seems to be working (I can’t take regular antihistamines and the non-drowsy forms are less effective).. but it makes me slow and a bit loopy.  And Getting Things Done is really a challenge.  I wanted to argue with myself to get The Big Things done – new customer list, calling the CFO of DG to push for us getting the next one built in our town (we’re in a food desert… ironic since we’re also smack dab in the middle of Ag – but it’s Big Ag so (shrug)…  do 2nd quarter budgeting, etc etc…

But March, bless her, gave me permission to lower my expectations.  Do the things that are Just Good Enough.  Police the yard (especially ahead of a storm).  Pick up all the trash that has blown around in our galeforce winds.  Sweep the floors.  Dump the coffee grounds.

You called a customer for the 1st Quarter project he talked about in September.  He hasn’t called you back.  Slow your roll.  You called on FRIDAY!  Give him (and you) a break.  Put him jat the top of the list for Wednesday.  And leave it alone.

Interestingly, this approach has done wonders for lowering my anxiety levels.  And it’s got me wondering how I managed to tie myself into those knots, anyway – I would understand if I still had a 5-figure nut I had to hit every month but the WHOLE POINT of living here at the back of beyond is to be able to just… not worry quite so much.  About anything.  I spent 18 years stressing the living daylights out of myself, dealing with El O, my dwindling $$, my health and looks declining… why am I wanting to do that now, when I don’t have to?  It’s probably just habit – but it’s one I am determined to break.

So.  I got all my dumb stuff done this morning – I feel great!  Going to the gym in a bit and then I’ll come back and make a (perhaps) more advanced  list of Things to Do Tomorrow.  Then again, maybe not.  Maybe just getting the floors done and the poop policed is enough.  For now.

Wow.  Who knew?

Do you guys have these odd …. moments?

Tell me about it – I’ll have M. Jacques poke a pawnail, etc…

And… hey!  Winners of the last draw?  Gmail me !  I’m glad you’re glad you won but I do need your deets.  evilauntieanitaAT

  • March says:

    HONEY. Some days (weeks? months?) it’s just one foot in front of the other. I’m off to mail my tax stuff to the CPA and I want, like, a major award for that lol. A ticker tape parade or something similar. We are SO hard on ourselves sometimes. <3

  • alityke says:

    Sorry you’re not healing as you would wish. I hope the visit to the Immunologist helps.
    I know that weirded out feeling well. The tree pollen has started & that means daily antihistamines for at least 3 months.
    After 7 years of retirement I’m pretty good at not driving myself to accomplish anything unless I want or not doing so would have unwanted consequences.
    Last week I looked at our bedroom & thought “Spring Clean”. I set to work. Looked good! Good job cos I woke next day with sciatica & back pain! Unwanted consequences for actually doing something unplanned.

  • Kathleen says:

    I like your introspective perspective Musette. I have similar habit of worry which causes unnecessary anxiety and stress. Slow your roll and break the habit. Self-care so important. xo

  • cinnamon says:

    Oy. I hope the allergist helps regarding the face situation. Not fun. Hmmm, not so much lowered expectations here as cycling through different. I’m a bit over two months in retirement. I’ve finally gotten confirmation on something which means I know what my ‘fixed’ income is for the next year. Until I knew that I was in a sort of vague waiting, which was actually a nice place to be. Particularly after decades of always, always doing.

  • Tom says:

    I’m sorry to read the healing isn’t happening as fast as you’d like, but I’m glad you’re at least pumping the brakes somewhat and taking it a bit easier. I’m pumping the brakes a little this week (though if I did any more I’d be at a dead stop) which will post tomorrow. The answer to my question as of now is Derby; the question will go live tomorrow evening.

  • Portia says:

    Hey Musette,
    I am a roller coaster of able. Some days my best is astounding, other days my best is barely adequate. It’s still my best, on a sliding scale.
    Glad you’ve decided not to sweat stuff quite so much.
    Portia xx

    • March says:

      Oh! That’s what I need to do, I need to AVERAGE it!!!! I’m sure on average I’m doing pretty well, thanks! 😀

  • Dina C. says:

    I’m so sorry your face is being slow to heal. Heavy sigh. I’m getting over bronchitis, and that’s not going away fast enough to suit my taste either. I managed to go outside today and clear up all the dead leaves and detritus in my tiny backyard. Our granddog is coming for a nice visit end of this week, so it needed doing. When I find myself pushing to get all my chores done in one day, I have to step back and remind myself what really needs to be done. I impose false deadlines for no good reason — I don’t know why. Making a to do list on paper seems to help me.