Lowered Expectations

Posse –  eons ago I ran into a neighbor/friend at our local hardware store.  He is a well-known professional musician, so I was stunned to find him in the hinge section, looking for stuff to fix a door ( I just figured he sat in his studio every day, making music while doves brought him lunch (shrug).  Asking him about it, he replied ‘you know… music is so very open to interpretation, each musician or producer has their own point of view, etc, etc… and you can work on the same piece forever and still never get everyone to agree on What is Right.  Whereas a door is simple: it’s off the hinge.  You go buy a new hinge and rehang the door.  Vi-ola!  Problem solved.  It’s a very calming process. (and okay – maybe he didn’t say ‘vi-ola’ but it’s my post so I’m going with it here).

Thinking about that, as I struggle (STILL!) with this stupid face drama.  It’s kiiiinda healing – maybe – but there’s obviously something other than the chemical burn going on – and that is why I am going to the allergist in 2 weeks (I’d go tomorrow morning but … I dunno… they don’t seem to really understand the urgency of getting my face fixed.   Le sigh.  Then again, I’m not the welder who just sustained serious thermal burns when a room full of ethanol off-gas exploded… so I’mma just sit here, shut the hell up… and wait for 2 weeks)

But! While I’m waiting I’m staying slightly stoned – not the ‘good ganja’ type of stoned, alas (and don’t think I wouldn’t!) , rather this is the ‘vaguely sloooow’ stoned from an antihistamine inhalant – it seems to be working (I can’t take regular antihistamines and the non-drowsy forms are less effective).. but it makes me slow and a bit loopy.  And Getting Things Done is really a challenge.  I wanted to argue with myself to get The Big Things done – new customer list, calling the CFO of DG to push for us getting the next one built in our town (we’re in a food desert… ironic since we’re also smack dab in the middle of Ag – but it’s Big Ag so (shrug)…  do 2nd quarter budgeting, etc etc…

But March, bless her, gave me permission to lower my expectations.  Do the things that are Just Good Enough.  Police the yard (especially ahead of a storm).  Pick up all the trash that has blown around in our galeforce winds.  Sweep the floors.  Dump the coffee grounds.

You called a customer for the 1st Quarter project he talked about in September.  He hasn’t called you back.  Slow your roll.  You called on FRIDAY!  Give him (and you) a break.  Put him jat the top of the list for Wednesday.  And leave it alone.

Interestingly, this approach has done wonders for lowering my anxiety levels.  And it’s got me wondering how I managed to tie myself into those knots, anyway – I would understand if I still had a 5-figure nut I had to hit every month but the WHOLE POINT of living here at the back of beyond is to be able to just… not worry quite so much.  About anything.  I spent 18 years stressing the living daylights out of myself, dealing with El O, my dwindling $$, my health and looks declining… why am I wanting to do that now, when I don’t have to?  It’s probably just habit – but it’s one I am determined to break.

So.  I got all my dumb stuff done this morning – I feel great!  Going to the gym in a bit and then I’ll come back and make a (perhaps) more advanced  list of Things to Do Tomorrow.  Then again, maybe not.  Maybe just getting the floors done and the poop policed is enough.  For now.

Wow.  Who knew?

Do you guys have these odd …. moments?

Tell me about it – I’ll have M. Jacques poke a pawnail, etc…

And… hey!  Winners of the last draw?  Gmail me !  I’m glad you’re glad you won but I do need your deets.  evilauntieanitaAT