Blame Portia: Hexennacht Trashcan Man, London Fog, Creaky Floorboards, Winchester Mystery House, and Never Was a Cornflakes Girl.

Well, it seems like it’s all Hexennacht, all the time here at the Posse this week. Independent of March I was forced (forced I tell you!) to turn to Surrender to Chance to get some samples of Hexennacht after reading Portia’s review of Never Was a Cornflakes Girl. Without even checking beforehand March and I chose different ones to review. I haven’t read her post (it’s listed as being edited) but I am waiting with bated breath. I chose mine because I liked the names. So here we go:

Trashcan Man may have or may not have been named for the character in “The Stand” but given the listed notes (smoke, motor oil, low-octane gasoline) I am thinking that maybe there’s a King fan there. The actual juice on me starts off smelling kind of like NECCO wafers and violet chewing gum. It quite pleasant, but I was expecting Chevron and got Chowards.

London Fog is supposed to be “sweetened Earl Grey Tea, steamed milk, and vanilla syrup.” Kudos to them for getting some of the slightly metallic scent of Starbuck’s repeatedly steamed milk but it seems like this one was sweetened with Froot Loops. Not me at all

Creaky Floorboards “old, weathered wood, aged dark patchouli” could have been titled Head Shoppe: 1978 but in a good way. After a while the head-shoppy patch is supplanted by warm, waxed wood.

Winchester Mystery House is listed as all sorts of things from ginger snaps to fireplace embers. This one seems to be an oil and goes heavily on the cookie portion of the program with the vanilla, clove, and ginger drowning out the woods until late into things a wisp of smoke comes in to liven things up.

Never Was a Cornflakes Girl had Portia at a conundrum. “There are days when I want a tub of it to bathe in and others I hop in the tub to wash it off.” I was unfortunately in the latter category. I did a full-on Whitney-style “Oh Hay-ull to the no!” and scrubbed it right off. But then, in the interest of science I went back as sprayed again and made myself sit there. The initial blast (which to me smells like rancid popcorn- the kind you purposely avoided at those $1.50 theaters back in your yoof) but then morphs into something like Froot Loops of the Gods. The evil butter Monster seems always lurking in the background. I have a bottle of Lostmarc’h Lann-Ael (and it is still available) so my Cereal Divinity needs are covered there. I won’t be needing this.

There are a dizzying array of products from these guys, all of which are at quite decent price points. They also have a sample program, which is always a good thing. Creaky Floorboards and Winchester Mystery House are ones that I wouldn’t mind seeing in my Xmas stocking, but at the risk of sounding old and mean spirited I kind of get the idea that these are great names they decided upon but with the actual juice having little to do with the name. I mean, I like Mystery House the scent, but what does a ginger tea have to do with a home constructed by someone so haunted by the fact that her inheritance was based upon gun manufacture that she kept adding rooms and wings to her house in an effort to confuse the ghosts of those killed by those guns she was sure were haunting her? Could you have tossed a little sawdust and sweat in there?

Oh well, these are available at their site. My samples were from Surrender to Chance. Photos are mine, Pexels, and Wikipedia Commons.

  • Jennifer says:

    Have you tried Alkemia or Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab? I have just discovered these small affordable perfume oils and I am obsessed.

  • Portia says:

    YAY for me Tom. I feel like my chest will burst with pride that my scribblings got you and March shopping. Nothing could better tell me that I got your imaginations firing up. Taking double enabler pins.
    Love your reviews, succinct and I read them in your voice.
    Portia xx

  • March says:

    Hehe clearly I liked my sample set better than you liked yours — sounds like you had fun, though! I think it’s hilarious that you and I both felt like we had to try Cornflake Girl. I think based on what I’ve tried so far, their scents veer sweet (which is fine with me.) I was interested in Trashcan because I wondered if it had a SMN Nostalgia vibe, and … apparently not.

    • Tom says:

      Well Portia practically forced me to try Cornflake. Unfortunately that “ick” thing in there stayed in there. The others had great names but just didn’t back them up. If Trashcan had fire and gasoline in there it was buried under mounds of marshmallow fluff.

      Like the PG las week- don’t blurb hot TofF biker dude and give me nerd on a moped..

  • Dina C. says:

    Great to read another person’s take on this line of scents. Thanks for doing the field work, Tom! I agree with you on the ones that sound most appealing. I’m not keen on the cereal, cookies, food stuffs, etc showing up in my perfumes. But mystery house and floorboards sound a bit more interesting.

  • alityke says:

    As I said on March’s reviews I am not drawn to these “funky” indies with huge output. The silly names gimme the “ick” too.
    They make me yearn for the days when a new offering from Uncle Serge would be yearned for & only happen about once a year if that.
    Very funny though & thank you & March for taking them for the team.
    Now will Tori Amos bog off from in my head!

    • Tom says:

      I agree, and actually thought it would have been a good idea for Uncle Serge to pull back from his release schedule (2 export, 2 exclusive) that he used to adhere to.

  • cinnamon says:

    Trashcan Man sounds as if it would have been awesome if it had lived up to its notes. I kept expecting you to say X was incredible at the end of a review … but no.

  • Maya says:

    Thank you for this post. I have to tell you that I laughed my way through it. I’m still chuckling. That’s all folks! 🙂