March the Maleficent decrees…

Today let’s talk about perfumista etiquette.  By this, I do not mean “perfume etiquette” – e.g., whether it’s polite to offgas Dior Poison at the opera, although frankly I find people slowly unwrapping cough drops and hard candies far more annoying in that situation (crinkle crinkle criiinklle).  No, I’m talking about the myriad ways we irritate and misunderstand each other while we swap, share, sniff and chat with fellow perfume fanatics, many (most?) of whom we might not know personally.

While Miss Manners has views about which times and places are inappropriate for strong perfume, let’s face it: there is no “Code of Perfumista Etiquette and Ethics” written down that I’m aware of, and my guess is that opinions about acceptable behavior in this area may vary widely.  I thought it would be fun to tackle this topic; I’ll share a couple of my own stories, with names deleted to spare the innocent and guilty (except myself.)

As always, I’m up for some lively debate and disagreement – let’s just keep things reasonably polite and no personal attacks or flaming, okay?  So go on – share your Etiquette Rules and stories in comments.

1. You can ask, but you can’t beg. Quite some time ago, Blogger X wrote about a rare vintage Guerlain, one I was dying to try and one that wasn’t available to sample from anywhere else (this was before the days of The Perfumed Court, for instance.)  I knew she had a very small vial of the stuff, and I … well, I begged her for a taste.  I begged shamelessly. I begged and pleaded and harangued – just a drop, please.  Just one tiny drop. And she was nice and sent me some and I raved about it on the Posse.

This was terrible behavior, and I’m still ashamed of myself.  I found out later that the lovely woman who’d sent Blogger X the sample – a very private woman with a very extensive vintage perfume collection – was understandably, completely pissed at me about this (she restocked Blogger X, if I recall correctly.)   I pretty much burned a potential bridge with this other party before we really had a chance to get to know each other, although she forgave me eventually.

I will add that, now that so many samples and decants are available from TPC and several other split/swap/sale forums that didn’t exist until fairly recently, I’ve been on the receiving end occasionally of this begging, and it irritates me.  If you can buy a sample of vintage Mitsouko fairly easily, then no, unless we’re already swapping something, don’t hound me for some of mine.

2. If you’re going to swap, then swap already.   I put a niche bottle up for swap – and there were two people who wanted it, A and B, neither of whom I knew.  Since A had asked first I honored that swap, although I felt bad about B, who had a sample of the scent and really, really wanted more.  Then things got complicated and I ended up buying A’s side of the swap – the bottle I was supposed to receive – at a substantial discount on eBay, and A was supposed to reimburse me for my eBay purchase.  Are you with me so far?

Anyway, then A never paid.  Weeks went by; I’d sent my bottle off promptly in the mail.  A said the check wasn’t quite in the mail, very busy, blah blah blah.  Finally after several email exchanges I said, look, I’m not going to ask again, because nagging you makes me feel cheap and petty.  But I’m busy too, okay?  You got a great deal – I swapped you something that was worth far more than what I paid for this eBay bottle, and you can’t even send me the money?  Eventually I got the money, but it left a bad taste in my mouth – so much so that (check this) I got B’s address, called up the perfume manufacturer, and bought B a sample of the same scent, because in my own weird way I was trying to make the whole thing feel good in my head.  I didn’t want negative scent associations clinging to it.  B was happy, and I was happy.

I know variations of this have happened to other people.  It’s at least partly about aligning expectations in terms of shipping time.  But in general, if you’re swapping, the other party expects to complete the swap quickly.  If there’s going to be a delay – your bottle of Secretions Magnifique is at your summer home in the Adirondacks, and you won’t be able to send it until July – well, then, you need to say that up front.

More grist for the mill:

Swaps: What do you do if the post office damages the package?  If the swap simply disappears?  If there seems to be something “off” about what you received?  What if money changes hands, or doesn’t?   Does it bother you if the package you send is beautifully wrapped and includes extra freebies, and in exchange you get one of my packages, which look like they were wrapped by a three-year-old on a sugar high?   I think it was Patty who mocked me once: woman, do you ever buy any supplies?  (Yes, vials and packing tape.)

Or: what if a family member or your BFF starts wearing “your” Holy Grail scent, does that bother you?  (Louise suggested this topic.) Or, conversely, what if your BFF disses your holy grail?  I get some of this blowback indirectly – if I blog about something I don’t like on the Posse, sometimes people get … upset.  And my response is: who cares what I like, anyway?  Please don’t take it personally.  I wear all sorts of crap perfume, I’m not the arbiter of great taste.  If I rag on Angel or that Jane Birkin thing, remind yourself that I like D&G Light Blue.

Or: splits – who hosts them?  Does it drive you nuts when others suggest a split but never offer to host?  What if they don’t pay up their share promptly?  What if it’s vintage and the bottle turns out to be bad, has anyone stiffed you?  Or backed out for another reason?  Did you hunt them down and spray them with Pink Sugar?

Have you ever found out you were battling someone you knew for a bottle on eBay? And you lost?  (snerk.  Yeah, me too.)

Have at it.  Anything else you want to discuss or solicit opinions about? Again, let’s keep it marginally polite.

Image - my Google “safe search” is off.  I googled “mud wrestling” and “wrestling cartoon” and like that.  Images … hoo, you don’t even want to know.  I had to go bleach my eyeballs; hence, no image for today’s post.

March

It’s funny; I love the scent of fresh berries so much more than the taste. More often than not, they taste sour to me, and I can’t stand their texture. Raspberries give me the willies, as does peach fuzz and wooden ice cream sticks. Strawberry seeds get stuck in my teeth and blackberries feel like a sponge that’s been left to decay next to the kitchen sink for oh, maybe a decade or two. I can tolerate blueberries as long as I can eat them with a heaping spoonful of sugar and and even bigger spoonful of sour cream. But, damn, I love how they smell!

Berry scents are hard to get right, and let’s face it – more often than not they are marketed to the under-18 crowd companies believe must go through a fruity “rite of passage” before moving on to more sophisticated fragrance choices. And, of course, they find themselves in the ubiquitous fruity-floral, fruitchouli mash-ups we all love so much.

Believe it or not, there are some sophisticated berry scents out there that have nothing to do with the stuff that’s competing for real estate in the local department store. Many of them are accented with red or black currants as well, which also smell wonderful, but for me are impossible to eat. Mind you, I’ve never been able to suck lemons either, so you can see this is a recurring theme. Maybe I’ll need to compile a list titled, “Food Nava Loves to Smell but Hates to Eat”. Somehow, I don’t think steak and chocolate cake are going to make it onto that one.

In the meantime, I have compiled a list of some favourite berry scents. Again, heavy on the fruit, light on the flowers:

Trish McEvoy No. 9: This one started me down the path to berry-ruin. When I first heard that the notes were blackberry, vanilla and musk, I believe I invented an excuse to leave my desk and race to Nordstrom to check it out. Of course I walked out of the store with a bottle. I wore this to death until I discovered the less expensive, but spot on duplicate, Falling in Love by Philosophy. I don’t know how these two co-exist together without legal action. They are exactly the same, save for the price. Right now, Falling in Love perfume oil is my stalwart, although for an oil, it doesn’t last very long. I’m also quite fond of the shower gel and body lotion.Trish’s “Sexy” version of #9 is just wrong.

Philosophy Unconditional Love: I guess you’d consider this a flanker to Falling in Love. It’s got some woods in it which warm it up, and a more concentrated blackberry/black currant note as well. Yes, fruit and woods do work well together.

L’Artisan Parfumeur Mure et Musc: When I first smelled this, I thought it was downright vile. It took me years to even go near it again. Then I said, oh what the hell, and gave it a spritz. About an hour later, it was true love. This one can be tricky because of the high concentration of musk. If you can pull this off without it smelling like berries and B.O., you’re set. I’m not sure I can handle that these days, and that’s all I’ll say without risking crossing the line into “TMI” territory.

True Religion for Women: I think this one has already been relegated to e-tailer purgatory after a too-short stint in the department stores. It had a citrusy/blackberry/cassis blend that I fell in love with during my one hot summer in Virginia. I also thought the bottle was adorable.

Antonia’s Flowers Sogni del Mar: Fruit? Check. Salt air? Check. Love? Yes. This blend of bergamot, cassis, rhubarb, and orange says it has lotus in it as well, but all I can smell is fruit and the ocean. In a good way, I swear. Luckily this was one of the bottles that was rescued from the clutches of my diabolically insane aunt.

Bond No. 9 The Scent of Peace: I was working my way through a third bottle of this gem when… Anyways, grapefruit, black currant and musk are the notes and it is the scent that solidified my status as a bona-fide “Bond Whore”. I just love this one so much…

Now for the really lowbrow stuff I can’t get enough of: Bath and Body Works Strawberry Lemonade, Black Raspberry Vanilla, Secret Wonderland, and their newest, Carried Away. Guess who walked out of one of their stores schlepping a dozen bottles of shower gel when they had their Buy 3, Get 3 sale last week? Unfortunately, Strawberry Lemonade is only available on their Web site.

And my all time favourite strawberry scented anything is a Bonne Bell Strawberry Lip Smacker. It doesn’t get any better than that; unless we’re talking about a Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker.

OK, your turn: Time to fess up your berry faves.

Thanks for all the input last week on my decision to try and come up with a “signature” scent. I know going “cold turkey” is not the way to do it, and I’m starting to think that a small grouping is likely to be a better idea. I’m reminded of the movie Sideways, and the scene where Paul Giamatti is asked about his wine collection. He refers to it as a “small gathering in a closet”, which is how I’ve come to view my fragrance collection. Except mine resides in a drawer.

Speaking of closets, I was subjected to my first tennant “inspection” the other day. A couple of guys came in and changed the battery in my smoke detector, which was an excuse for the property manager to waltz in (she being a rather diminutive woman with what I believe is a bit of a “Napoleonic” complex. Definitely no Josephine in this broad.) and fling open my closets. I’m guessing that my abode is the exception rather than the norm in most cases. She was probably looking for clandestine damage and other such effrontery. Good thing she didn’t look behind my wall mirror to spy the chunk of plaster I inadvertently removed when hanging it. I swear, in my hands, a hammer is a weapon of mass destruction.

Anyway, while ruminating over my wish to stick with a small group of favourites, I’ve whittled down my choices to include my two favourite notes: lemon and vanilla. Yeah, I love my woods and my incense, and lots of other heavy stuff, but if I had to choose two notes I’d never want to be without, it would have to be some sort of citrus, and definitely my beloved vanilla. The two pair together quite nicely, like a rare steak and a really good glass of Cabernet. I think it was Lemon Up shampoo that started my lemon-loving ways, along with Love’s Fresh Lemon. Baby Soft was in there as well, but I really had a thing for Fresh Lemon for a long time. I’m sure some of you remember this stuff:

I used to love mixing this together with Revlon Milk Plus Six shampoo. Together, they were the perfect combination of lemon and vanilla. And that’s where it all started.

I remarked to some of you that I would love to go back to wearing Annick Goutal’s Eau d’ Hadrien once again. I drained bottles of that stuff in the late 90s – I’m talking about 3 of the 500 ml sizes. I guess that’s why I stopped wearing it. But, it was always appropriate, and always made me feel good. Another fave used to be Fresh Sugar. Again; wore it to death. I also get a bit of lemon from Philosophy Pure Grace, even though the notes are some sort of well-guarded secret – there’s definitely some lemon in the composition. There are others I’ve tried – a couple of the Carthusia scents, Rosine’s Rose d’ Ete, Eau de L’Artisan, which I believe has long since been discontinued, and Hermessence Rose Ikebana, which is way more grapefruit and osmanthus than rose.

Two other favourites are Ave Luxe Citrine and that discount e-tailer stalwart, La Perla Eclix. I’m thinking of starting over with Pure Grace and Fresh Sugar, since they are relatively easy to get, and inexpensive to boot. We’re also coming into warm weather, and I know I’m not going to be able to stand anything stronger than those. My only gripe with these types of scents is that they don’t hang around very long. But they’re fresh, bright and uplifting. Just what the doctor ordered.

OK, fess up, do you like citrus with a twist of vanilla? I’m not talking fruity floral.

I had a really interesting Thursday. I went on a sniffing expedition and was, how shall I say this: disappointed. I’ve tried to keep an open mind over the years and do my best to be an equal opportunity sniffer. My new next-door neighbour sells Avon, and I’m planning to ask her to get me some samples. Come on – who hasn’t had a bottle of Sweet Honesty over the course of their life, or one of Avon’s countless other scents? They’re worth a sniff, right? I’ll get back to you on that one.

My day started off innocuously enough. Then, I met a woman who lives in the building next-door to mine who proceeded to tell me her life story in the span of 20 minutes while we were waiting for the bus. She thinks she’s the only one with a crazy family. Shall I continue? Needless to say, I listened politely and kept my mouth shut.

Before I left the house, I went looking for some sniffing inspiration. That lead me over to Now Smell This, and Robin’s post from the other day. She wrote about how things in the fragrance world are chugging along to the tune of over 1,000 new releases per year now, up from about 800 when she first wrote about the topic back in 2007. That got me thinking: how many of them are going to smell similar to one another? How much innovation and originality can there possibly be if the market is so saturated? It was with these thoughts swimming around in my head that I went out sniffing. Robin’s words, particularly, “…flankers or mindless copies of things we already had too much of…” were echoing in my brain. Robin, if you’re reading this, don’t worry – you didn’t kill my inspiration. I didn’t have that much to begin with. There wasn’t anything in particular I had my heart set on, and I had a pretty good case of the ass-drags going anyway. I didn’t know what I was expecting to find.

What I did sniff left me colder than Nunavut in January (that’s about -40C on average). I tried Jennifer Aniston at Sephora: Bobbi Brown Beach with less Coppertone, but more salt. It can’t hold a candle to Bond No. 9 Fire Island, which is the Queen of all beach scents. No pun intended. Narciso Rodriguez Essence de Musc was a fleeting burst of citrus, then nothing. Coach Poppy was the typical non-descript fruity-floral we’ve smelled over, and over, and over, and over… After that, I couldn’t bring myself to pick up another tester. I was half-heartedly approached by a nice lady in The Bay, who offered me some YSL Belle d’Opium. When I politely declined, her supervisor couldn’t wait for me to get out of earshot before she reamed the poor woman for not beating me over the head with the tester bottle. After that, I packed it in. I was done like dinner.

What is it about fragrance that can leave you giddy and floating on air one minute, and ready to bag it for eternity the next? I was saddened to hear about Elizabeth Taylor’s passing on Wednesday; more so because of her talent as an actress, rather than as a perfumer. I know her scents have their legions of fans, but I’ve never been one of them. I wore Passion for maybe 5 minutes when it came out, but after that, I never went near White Diamonds or any of her other offerings. The only thing I’m yearning for now is a copy of Cleopatra to add to my DVD collection.

There is one course of action I’m contemplating: I want to try to pick a scent, and wear nothing but that scent for as long as possible. For me, that’s tantamount to sacrilege, since I’ve always celebrated my fickle perfumista ways. I could go weeks without wearing the same scent two days in a row. That was before my collection was filched…I know – I need an intervention from a room full of people telling me to get over it and move on.

So, what do you think? Shall I go forth with a “signature” scent, or should I keep prowling the shelves for something I know I’ll never find? My actions will be dictated by your thoughts. Maybe I should consider it an intervention after all. Decide my direction, and I will take it from there. Keep in mind that the research could take a while. It’s dangerous to go “cold turkey”.

Image: Jackson Pollock’s “One” in all its glory.

by the drooling Musette

I always wonder why the term ‘diva’ has gotten such a bad rap  – maybe it always has come with that faint tinge of Puritan disapproval and I just didn’t notice it (and it wouldn’t be the first time).  But I like the word diva.  Its Latin origin means ‘goddess’ and if you think about true divas (Jessye Norman, Joan Sutherland come to mind), what it conjures is a massive, almost mystical Presence to match their incredible vocal gifts…..

…which is why I am stunned! that Roja Dove chose to name his new fragrance Diaghilev and create it to mark the Victoria & Albert Ballets Russes exhibit.   This perfume which I fell into, courtesy of WAFT by Carol, is so incredibly, lushly velvet-chypre-y,creamy, swoony-swoopy,  (pant!pant!).….my darlings, I just don’t know how to describe it.  If divas = difficult this perfume might qualify.  But the difficulty will be yours.  I defy you to wear this without incurring a Repetitive Motion Injury.  My shoulder still hurts from the 243 times I lifted my wrist to my nose in one hour alone!

Sergei D. might’ve worn it – by all accounts the impressario was an Imperious Presence – but I doubt any of his ballerinas would’ve.  Not even his prima ballerina.  It’s just a bit too hefty for a ballerina….

Oh!  Wait.    I’m an idiot.  Roja Dove is a genius.  And he’s right.  He created this in honor of an early 20^th Century ballet company. Think everything Diaghilev represented, iron will, outsized ego, Mitsouko-scented curtains.  Think Olga Spessivtseva, considered one of the greatest classical dancers of all time.  A prima ballerina.   Presence.   I see her, emerging from her bath, wrapped in a silk kimono…powdering her shoulders whilst her maid lays out her gown for dinner with a fabulously wealthy admirer….her dressing room filled to the brim with luscious deep pink roses and her chaise longue covered in a cashmere throw, vintage Bollinger on her dressing table, spraying this with abandon….. Sergei and Olga, mirror satellites of fabulousness, each needing the other to achieve the zeniths of their talents..

Shut up about the ballerinas already and get to the perfume! Sorry.  I got carried away with the Bolly and the chaise longue.  You all …..wow.  Okay. (deep breath here)…  You all know how much I adore vintage Mitsouko, right?  And you know I heart current Femme with its sexy sweat…..and Coty Chypre is one of my all-time vintage loves.  Well…imagine that those three are romping in a bed dressed in woven silk sheets and there is a LOT of 1990 Krug (with its  yeasty magnificence)…and a big silver bucket of chilled shrimp with Thousand Island dressing (I’m serious) and a flourless chocolate cake with a warm vanilla crème anglaise….and you have Diaghilev.   Carol and I agree that it is not a ‘modern’ scent at all – this is evocative of the great  50s-60s versions of Coty Chypre.  Like M. Dove I smell Mitsouko (Carol disagrees – for her more coherent review see here ) but the smoothness of vintage EDP, not the current (pre-reformulation) with its gasoline punch.  Roja Dove studied at Guerlain and you can smell the Guerlain influence in Diaghilev – the vanilla that defines Shalimar is evident in the springy roundness  of this scent, which stops just one sugar sprinkle short of crème brulee ( my favorite crèmes brulees incorporate 3 distinct things that flow together:  the bite of carmelized (nearly carbonized) sugar, the sweet followthrough of that sugar and the salty tang of the crème).  Everything about this perfume translates, for me, into ‘mouthfeel’.  Carol uses the term ‘mouthwatering’….and she’s absolutely right.  If I didn’t already adore her, I would hate her guts.   Her evocative review caused a lemming so intense it made my gums ache!  So I schemed and scrabbed and am now anxiously awaiting my leetle bit of it.  And I am willing to share a small sample with one incredibly lucky commenter. Drop a line here letting me know which perfume most conjures up ‘mouthfeel’ for you and I’ll get Pickle to pull a winner.  I doubt this rambling, screechifyin’ post has spawned any lemmings but just in case, you can purchase Diaghilev here . Two caveats:  it has one of those scary bulb atomizers and currently it only ships to the UK.  But everybody knows somebody (or knows somebody who knows somebody) who lives/works/visits London – if you are a chypre-lover this one is an absolute ‘must-try’ for you.

Notes (which I stole from Carol’s post – please do read it (way better than mine)  there’s also a link to a Roja Dove interview…he’s delightfully over the top and I think I am in love!  I carry my own blanket, too!)

top -bergamot, lemon and orange

heart – rose de mai , jasmine

base – oak moss, orris, patchouli, vanilla and vetiver

photo:  frenchchicandshabby.com some rights reserved