Y’all tuned in here this week to read about perfume, didn’t you? No Joy in Perfumeville again today on that count. I’m about three weeks into a End of Winter Malaise. I’m not depressed or unhappy, just seem to have arrived at one of those Brightly Beaconed Turning Points in life where I’ve sat down in the road and punted on life for a while. I don’t really feel like I have to do or choose something – it feels more like I’ve been remaking my life for the last year now, and I’m just a little exhausted from all the changes and need a big, deep cleansing breath and assimilation before I start back in sorting, discarding and embracing new things. There’s a lot of my real job stresses going on as well (not TPC – that’s a joy – my other real job). This post is going to be more personal, so those of you just wanting your perfume news/reviews delivered without personal junk, this is a bad day to be reading here.
Looking back over this year, for those of you that aren’t aware, I’ve gone through a divorce, now have both of my sons gone from the nest, and I’m in my home alone, figuring out the New Plan since the Old Plan was an Epic Fail. I do have a question, for those of you that have gone through this, can you really remain friends with your ex? I already have another ex, but he’s the father of my sons, so we’ve always been civil, just not best buddies. This ex was a great friend for the last two decades of my life, even though he has been at many points a really shitty human being, so I’m a little more invested in getting this to a great friendship. Can people live with the tenson of liking and hating a person at the same time? I’ve been working on this for a year now and still not found an answer that feels comfortable, nor has the duality of my feelings changed where he is concerned. Maybe I’ll never find an answer that feels comfortable, and maybe I never should. Life may be best lived in tension without the safety net of certainty. I know I work much better on that edge than anywhere else.
The life I’ve created now is one I love. It is full of friends and fun and joy. I’ve gotten all healthy with yoga and juices and horseback riding. I’m free to travel to the places I want to go after so many years of only going the places other people wanted to go. I’m truly happy in a way I never thought possible. I am truly living a life I don’t deserve and never for one second am unaware of how fortunate I am.
So I’m not sure if I’m at the big inhale or the big exhale in life, but I sure wish it would pass. I’ve gotten used to being out and doing things and attacking life, and I just want to shake this malaise off. I’ve got a couple of perfume choices that I keep thinking should help, but haven’t so far. The new Vanille Galante is just wonderful, and I’m one of the Feminite du Bois parfum partakers, as well – what a deliciously smooth skanky thing that is! I’ve thought about breaking out the Apres L’Ondee or En Passant, but even though they fill me with hope, there is too much melancholy in there for where I am right now. Ideas on something to shake me out of this perfume-wise, or just advise-wise? Or if you’ve been through major life upheavals successfully, just tell me what’s normal so I won’t worry that I’m in some weird place now.
Until y’all give me the answers to perfume and life, I’m just going to content myself with Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookies right from the freezer.
Oh! You can also help cheer me up by friending me on Facebook. Once you friend me, you can friend March and Lee, an I have a lits of tons of perfumistas that you can just keeping adding! I’ve got this strange thrill about having a lot of friends on FB, it’s a weird little obsession, but I’m just going with it for now since it seems harmless.