Flowers in Flushing

Before we get this party started – the winner of the T6 and Cordovan Rose samples is Natalie.  Click on ‘contact us’, tell us what you won and where to send it.

Mistress March is still eating enchanted burritos.  ‘Tizz I, Musette, come to torture you with a little tale:

Fracas  lives in Flushing with her 94yr old mother, Lucille. One Thursday she decides to skip Canasta Night  and go out ‘on the town’.  Wearing a girdle that would strangle a bull and a boucle sheath she heads out in her 1983 Buick LeSabre, intending to just have a little cocktail at the neighborhood restaurant and maybe – just maybe – have a conversation with that good-looking undertaker who ‘does’ all her mom’s friends’ husbands – he, too, lives with his widowed mother and she’s seen him giving her the quiet once-over at funerals and visitations…

…and Fracas …well, Canasta’s okay… know, she’s not getting one millisecond younger.

…..on the way to the restaurant she sees a motorcycle broken down on a deserted side street.  It’s Mrs Flower’s granddaughter, Carnal (her momma, T. Rose, fell in with a bad crowd and  left baby Carnal with her grandma).  Fracas knew it was Carnal because of the bright pink dye job that, to be told, looked kind of sexy, in a young-slut kind of way.  Not that Fracas would know firsthand but she’s not stupid – she reads magazines and the newspaper.  She knows the world is a different place from when she was a girl.

She picks Carnal up, intending to drop her off at the nearest gas station – but it’s closed.   Carnal insists on buying Fracas a drink  – ‘just one’ – as a thank you for stopping to help.  She directs Fracas to a club but it’s not the nice bistro Fracas was expecting – it’s a rave.  But Fracas is brave and decides ‘what the heck – live a little – and it’s only one drink, right?”.

Little does she know….

…’s pitch-dark, with  flashing lights and glo-bolos and  boys and girls who look like vampires. What is she doing here?  She orders a vodka tonic – it’s really hot in there.   Carnal is deep in conversation with a young man wearing an eye patch and a blue baseball cap with a huge brim.  He looks harmless enough and vaguely familiar, like a comic-book character or something and he smells so…’pink’, just like Carnal’s hair and sugary-sweet  – she isn’t nervous when he draws her nearer to them with a sweet smile and welcoming eye.  “he’s just a kid – he looks like that really cute guy from high school……” the music is so loud and the lights are so flashy and she’s so intent on remembering that she doesn’t notice when he drops a little powder into her glass.

Clinking glasses, he says “here’s to fun new friendships!”  She takes a big sip – it’s got a hint of raspberry in it but it’s a young person’s club, maybe they don’t know how to make a vodka tonic – and in a few minutes the room is spinning and she feels the need to lie down ……

…..she wakes up, hours later, in her car in front of her house with her dress halfway unzipped.    Fracas is confused – how did she get back home?  Where is her girdle?  And why is she picking bright pink hair out of her bra?  And where is Carnal Flower and that strangely familiar boy?

No answers.  She resolutely puts it out of her mind and goes back to work at the Flushing DMV, popping  out every now and then to the bistro, to chat with the undertaker.

but still… she wonders about those Hot. Pink. Hairs.  And that strangely familiar boy.
Months later her mother comes into the kitchen, fairly bursting with news:  “You’ll never believe it!   Margaret Flower is nearly dead with shame!  First her daughter, now her granddaughter, with that bright pink hair and her snippy ways.”  Fracas begs her mother to tell her the story:

“well, my dear, it seems that awhile ago, Little Miss Carnal got mixed up with one of those Joe boys – you know the Joes?  From over by the tracks?”  At the mention of the Joes, Fracas’ face turned beet red.  Yes, she remembers now….Bobby Joe.  He was the Bad Boy of Flushing High, class of 1979.  Hot as the fires of hell, he had every girl at school wild for him.  Fracas worshiped him from the very back of afar, no way would he ever look at her….   he went off to Vietnam, leaving a little ‘package’ with that slut Carol Coty.  Carol kept the baby, named him Bobby Joe Jr….but everybody called him ‘Bazooka’ because his dad was a gunney in the Marines – he was the only sniper who could hit a moving target at 200 paces while chewing a wad of bubblegum.

that was the boy with Carnal that night” Fracas whispered to herself.  I wonder….

but her mother is nattering on….” little Miss Carnal is no better than her mother – turns out she just had a little girl – and guess who the father is?  Yes!  ‘Bazooka Joe’!   Her grandmother is furious – do you know what they named that baby?  Vamp! What kind of name is that for a little girl? Margaret Flower is just mortified.”

and then, dropping her voice to a raspy whisper she says “but that’s not the worst part!”

“uh, there’s more?” Fracas, squeaks, dreading what is coming….

“yessss!” her mother hisses…..turns out Carnal is a …you know…(at this her mother blushes even redder than Fracas)… of those girls who likes….you know….well…she doesn’t just like boys.  AND, what’s even stranger?  She likes OLDER …uh…well, ladies, I guess.  Bertha Mason  said Carnal’s grandmother’s sister Irene’s daughter Kelly said Carnal likes how ladies  smell – like  powder and white flowers?  She and Bazooka like to ……uh……she said they like to do things to get some of the DNA.  What is ‘DNA’? Lucille asks ” some nasty thing, I suppose.”  Well anyway, I guess she and Bazooka find these women and DRUG them and…..well, I can’t say anymore – bad enough they’re not married – but this?  It’s a SIN!!!

photo: new-rave-kids.jpeg  from female

Vamp sample:  from March.  Blame her for this tawdry tale.

  • Perfume24 says:


    What’s in pink?Aws.. my favorite color!hmwp!
    Well my give me my first reaction

    Ha HA hA hA HA hahahahahahahahahahaha

    What a great story- excellent!!!

  • Daisy says:

    Tawdry tale indeed! I always suspected that Fracas had a wild side anyhow….and I bet she’s been back to that club….

  • Dina C says:

    I haven’t tried Vamp, but you enthralled me with your story, hook, line and sinker. I was kinda picturing Fran Drescher from “The Nanny” days as Carnal, with her pretend mother as Fracas. What a pair! It sounds like a great sitcom plot. /:) Thanks for the fun!

  • tammy says:

    Definitely a GREAT way to start my week! Maybe TOO great. My life seems rather tame by comparison!

  • Shelley says:

    Well, now that you’ve outed me as having seen this sticky mess before, I’ll share my first reaction.

    “Ah ha HA HA ha ha ha HA ha ha ha ha ha…”


    Incidentally, speaking of DNA, you remind me I have a purple bottle of the stuff. Seriously. I think it needs to room with you for a while, so you can get the whole lurid story out of it and share it with all….

  • SilviaFunkly says:

    Baby Vamp has another fan auntie here (I get buttery pop corn). And with that quality pedigree… thanks for bringing the shameful truth to light, we want more perfume True Stories! Don’t keep us waiting too long.

    • Musette says:

      LOL! I don’t even know where this one came from, SF! But I’m sure that eerie sound I’ll hear tonight is Robert Piguet, dragging his 8-x self to my door, to pay me back for this.


      xo >-)

  • Rosiegreen says:

    What a great story- excellent start to the week.

  • Suzanne says:

    I think I’ll spray Fracas on the back of my right hand, Carnal on the left, and order up a little of whatever you were having when you wrote this, Musette!

    Loved this. You really know those ladies! Rave on, girl.

    • Musette says:

      For the life of me I cannot remember what I was channeling when I wrote this (originally I wrote it to =)) March and Shelley)

      But definitely Fracas on one hand and Carnal on the other – it’s an interesting experience!

      xo >-)

      • Shelley says:

        Are you trying to say *I* am one of the characters in the story? Moi???

        (Say that Miss Piggy style. It works. Plus, she’s pink, blows bubbles, and would like to wear a tiara. Like Vamp.)

  • mals86 says:

    BAZOOKA JOE!! Whew…

    I loves the Vamp. And I get total Root Beer Float with Tuberose Petals, plus a side of Big Red chewing gum, out of it, but s’okay I like that. It’s trashy, but really really great.

    • Musette says:

      I think it might be based on What You Know. I was never a root beer float gal but I chewed me some Bazooka in my day – I suspect Shelley did, too (for the record, I got the BJ note before I read her post on Vamp). Definitely the petals are in there.

      I agree that it’s trashy – but unlike a lot of scents I think they did it on purpose, which sort of de-trashes it. I can also see where you are getting ‘great’ – again, it’s that ‘on purpose’ thing. I think it’s well-done for what they were aiming to do.

      xo >-)

      ps. Big Red! Huh. I would’ve run through everything but Doublemint before I got to Big Red!

      • mals86 says:

        Lots of spice in there. I mean, srsly, Cinnamon-oil-toothpicks, which were all the rage when I was in middle school. I like that part of Vamp a lot, ecktually.

    • Shelley says:

      Wait, you get Big Red? Interesting. We’ve chatted elsewhere about your impressions — and I do remember how you love its girly self — but for some reason, I didn’t recall Big Red. Which was a signature gum of mine for a while, back in the day.

      Your root beer is my sasparilla, but I get it. During one of my trips, at least, I got it.

      You know, when you say “root beer float with tuberose petals,” it sounds…kinda…interesting. Humph. Blast, my next attempt is going to be sooner than later now.

      • mals86 says:

        Root beer, tuberose, spices, and vanilla. Lotsa vanilla, lotsa cinnamon-clove. I TOTALLY dig this stuff.

        And the last time I did my toenails, I painted them screaming pink. I think the color is called Shocking. Which is not really me, but I love it on my toes. I channel Redneck Woman now and then…

  • Tommasina says:

    Now, see, but for the perfume, the corset-and-boucle-dress get-up, and the drinking, that could be my MIL: she’s 87, drives an ’83 Buick LeSabre, and… oh, OK, that’s the only similarity. But it was nice to dream, just for a moment, that she might ONCE in her life do sthg exciting. She gifted me some tiny parfum bottles, received at various Exxon dinners (she was a high-up secretary there); all were unopened, bcs she doesn’t like “purr-FEWM” (said with a wrinkling of the nose); and, of course, allllll “purr-FEWM” smells of flowers – no way could it smell of anything else. Believe me, I’ve been trying…

    • Musette says:

      Give it up, T. That’s where it’s at for her! [-(

      For a split second I was conjuring up visions of your having received little bottles of gasoline!

      😕 that might ….

      xo >-)

  • waftbycarol says:


    They tried that with me and I kicked them out of the car….they left a dried old bouquet of strawflowers in the back seat…

  • Tamara*J says:

    What a naughty lil’ tale Musette!
    You would. :D
    Pick-ups, bars, roofies in drinks,
    pink hair and divas having babies!
    I have yet to try Vamp but your story peaks the curiousity! ;)

    • Musette says:

      March says root beer candy.

      Shelley and I say Bazooka Joe bubblegum.

      But for all that, it’s not horrible – just ‘different’ from what I am interested in, perfumewise. I suspect this is going to be HUGE when it hits the shops.

      xo >-)

  • Natalie says:

    OK, there’s some kind of cosmic synergy going on here: not only did I win the samples (thank you thank you!), but I ate dim sum in Flushing yesterday AND I dyed my hair hot pink a few weeks ago. See, you didn’t even need the Rohypnol to bowl me over!

    • Musette says:

      You are welcome!

      Did you really dye your hair hot pink? I’m a tad too old for that -plus it would flip out my customers, alas but a gal can dream……….:-D

      Maybe you could go over and pick up Tommasina’s MIL (I’d probably pass on the DNA swappage, there).

      xo >-)

      • Natalie says:

        Too old for pink hair? Never! For whatever it’s worth, I’m on the sunny side of 40.

  • Ms. Christian says:

    Hmmm-littleandcute at the helm?