Worst Perfumes – Fragrances that Make My Nose Wrinkle

Hey, put the flame thrower down!  

These are our worst perfumes!  Not yours, not ones that 100% are the worst perfumes ever made, just ones that we think pretty much blow and get classified as toxic air waste or just piss us off.  

Here’s how this works – we list the stuff we hate, then you tell us how wrong we are, then list the stuff you hate, which I’m certain will be some of our Perfume Sacred Cows.  We’ll gnash our teeth and caterwhaul about it, and in the end we won’t agree about any of it.   But we’ll all have fun trashing the…

worst perfumes evah!  

 

worst perfumes - perfume sacred cows

 

Patty’s list – 

  • Marc Jacobs Lola – Daisy’s slutty big sister, but, hey, look, no slut or taste!  We hate this because Marc Jacobs usually gives better bottle than this and didn’t make up for it with decent perfume.  It’s a perfume that pisses me off.
  • Marc Jacobs Dot – Cutest.Bottle.Ever.  Worst.Perfume.Ever.  Marc, you disappoint me on so many levels.
  • Jo Malone Pomegranate Noir – I used to call this Patchouli Whore. Oh, wait, I still do!
  • Tom Ford Amber Absolute – Amber beehive with the bees still in it.
  • Guerlain Winter Delices – “Oh, no, mom, I threw up behind the Christmas tree.”
  • Estee Lauder Pleasures/Knowing/Beyond Paradise – I think they are the same perfume… with the same feminine hygiene product infused with TampaxFreshAccord.
  • Etat Libre d’Orange Secretions Magnifique – Dexter episode
  • Thierry Mugler Alien – jasmine cough syrup, and luckily! they also provided the phlegm.
  • Guerlain Shalimar – oh, hey, hon, do me a solid and hand me the baby powder so I can slip into this rubber thong.
  • Jimmy Choo – Your shoe bench is calling you back.
  • Madonna Truth or Dare – Truth is? This isn’t the worst celebrity dreck, but it’s boring, which is, well, worse.
  • Estee Lauder Youth Dew – Room clearing.  One wonders what bathrooms used to smell like when this was a bath oil.  It would certainly earn you a bathroom to yourself.  Hmmm, that could have been the point.
  • Chanel Coco Noir – you know, hate isn’t the right word.  Did making a perfume that wasn’t designed by a focus group occur to anyone at the Chanel Perfume Brain Trust?  You guys have the budget, know-how and talent to make amazing fragrances.  You know that old saying… to whom much has been given, lots of beatings will be administered when you keep taking the safe route, or something like that.  I loathe Chanel No. 5 with the the heat of a thousand burning suns, but it will never go on a hate list because it was brave, daring, and that frosty bitch is anything but safe.

Anita’s list –

Waaalll….

Patty and I laughed like hyenas (HYENAS!) over ‘her’ list.  I can’t really fault any of them except the Shalimar (in perfume only) and, oddly enough, the ONE THIERRY MUGLER THAT I ACTUALLY LIKE!!!  I don’t ‘love’ Alien – but I was so damn happy to not hate Every Single Thing he has done that I leapt on it like a wolverine (you can tell I’m all about the matted fur and gnashing teeth today.  I’m envisioning hyenas and wolverines battling over a bottle of Youth Dew)

But I have some moo-ah to add to the list.  Mine are mostly ‘I can’t believe you LIED to me” perfumes.  You know, those perfumes that said “I have the notes that will make your heart go pitter-patter….come, step into this dark little alcove and snuggle with me.”…so you step your little trusting self into that dark little alcove…and a few moments later, come staggering out, clutching the dagger that XXX perfume just slid between your ribs….

  • L’Heure Bleue parfum and Lorenzo Villoresi Teinte de Neige.  Whoever pushed me on the Krispy Kreme conveyor belt should be ashamed of themselves.
  • PG Drama Nuui.   “hey, come smell this gorgeous green grass…  don’t worry about that wobbly Easter Island Musk-Head.  I’m sure it won’t fall over on you.  No, really.  It’s FINE!”
  • Clinique Aromatics Elixir.  The Official Perfume of Mordor.
  • Thierry Mugler Angel.  Studio 54.  1980.  Women’s bathroom.  5am Sunday.
  • Fresh Index Pomegranate Anise.   Michael Myers’s signature scent.
  • By Kilian Good Girl Gone Bad.  I Crossed Delancey and fell into Sam’s pickle barrel.
Okay, discuss!  We’re leaving this up so we can laugh at your lists too over Thanksgiving.  Before we forget, as always, the Posse is grateful to all of you for your friendship and your company on this fun ride that is perfume.  Most of the joy is sharing what we love and what we hate and all the rabble in the middle.  If it weren’t for you taking part in this virtual conversation, we would be bored out of our damn minds!  
So thank you, good and safe journey for those of you traveling, enjoy your time with your family and loved ones, hug them extra tight, even the ones you wish were in someone else’s family.  Those of you not celebrating Thanksgiving because, you know, you aren’t ‘Murrican, hang around, we’ll be here off and on talking about the worst perfumes and maybe elf shoes.  xoxo, y’all!
203 Comments
Grtpumk November 29, 2012

OMG, I just found this wonderful place, and as soon as I can catch my breath from laughing my @ss off, I'll try to post. Everyone here seems to share my Ph.D in snark AND know their scents! Match truly made in heaven! Thanks for another Rabbit Hole! Sincerely, Patchouli Whore (aka PomNoir)

sand November 28, 2012

Creed's Love in White. It's the plastic or petrol/gasoline note.

Joan November 26, 2012

I was nervous to write Iris Silver Mist, but clearly 50_Roses is in agreement with me. There's a sour vanillic floral note in Givenchy Organza and Vanille Fleur by M/ Micallef that I just can't stand. I don't know what it is, but I'd like to see someone agree with me here.

Orla November 25, 2012

Back in the late 80s/early 90s I only wore two scents: Fracas in winter, Calandre in summer. I got compliments *all* the time--especially for the Fracas. (Then I married a man who 'didn't like perfume'...yadda yadda.) I think about returning to Fracas, but maybe that time has passed--along with the ex-husband.

Helena November 24, 2012

Sorry all Manoumalia by LesNez lovers, it smells like wet cardboard.

ellennyc November 23, 2012

White Shoulders. That stuff is FOUL.

sue parenio November 22, 2012

Agree about the Lutens Silver Iris: Petroleum meets old bong water.

Mel November 22, 2012

I cracked myself up over this post - super funny! My worst is Issey Miyake L'Eau D'Issey, Angel (Thierry Mugler), Youth Dew and Knowing by Estee Lauder and a few others!

Jennifer Counts November 22, 2012

I got a new one.. I just got a sample of SL De Profundis from STC, and while I don't know that I can go so far as to say I *hate* it, I definitely don't like it. I was trying to get the concept behind it, but all I smelled was Juicy Fruit gum. Once the association was made, my brain wouldn't let go of it.

Annie Amos November 22, 2012

Van Cleef & Arpels Muguet Blanc made me understand why some people HATE lily of the valley. It sure cured me of blind spritzing, as I had to walk around with it all afternoon . AP's Passage d'Enfer at least was truthful: what you will have to wear, forever, if you sin in this lifetime...

daisy November 21, 2012

I'm late coming to this, but I thought to just throw my most hated fragrance out there: Elizabeth Taylor Passion. I have a dear friend who used to drench herself head to toe with it in college. It smelled like the breath of the dying. To this day, I cannot even go near the same shade of purple!

Alityke November 21, 2012

Dzing! Elephant poop. Huge piles of elephant poop in the rain and rhino hide that's been rolled in the elephant poop in the mid notes if you don't scrub it off before then. Oh yeah I remember its the only AP scent that has such longevity it WONT scrub off. I smelt like a zoo for 24 hrs!

Twitchly November 21, 2012

Oh my yes, I'd forgotten about L'Air de Rien. Horse eats hay. Horse digests hay. In a few hours, horse passes ... L'Air de Rien! Pure barnyard.

Shiloh Woodard November 21, 2012

As a newbie chimes in here, let me say I must love the fragrances that assault the senses. I CANNOT no way, no how STAND when I perfume is over applied, even on me. There's been many a nightmares about vomiting in my sleep when there's is too much Angel or Lancome's Tresor clinging to my hair. Oh, gosh, just thinking about Tresor......*gag*....deep breath.....go to your happy place, Shiloh. Ahhhh, much better! That being said, I love Angel. I hate her too. Sweet mother that perfume has some fight in her. She's like the boozy, incense laden Black Widow out for her next victim! When I wear her, i usually find myself in dark venues with hipsters smelling like pot and Paps, listening to the latest garage band that made a record no one's heard of. There I can subtly tell people to come or go, I don't care. I'm wearing ANGEL!! That being said, I actually manage to wear it lightly so that no one can smell it unless they hug me. I adore Shalimar. On me, it smells like an exotic trip through Hemingway's 1920's. The right mix of spice, intrigue, vanilla, and a light touch of powder, so that I smell inviting and not like my Great-Grandma returned from the dead haunting my waking days! (Love you, GG, but you really needed to put the Shalimar down and walk away.) On to the hates...... Aromatics Elixir, Youth Dew and Amarige. Seriously. What the...? What happened to my noses?!? Why, why, why are you trying to kill me? All I wore was Angel! |-> God love Grandma, she's a great lady with a bohemian flare, but who told her that Amarige was a good thing to put on instead of bathing?!? It's the fragrances of dead flowers rotting inside of a crypt. (Macabre much?) Oy, when I smell these three I begin to think of Oxygen as a precious, rare, natural resource. Oh, I cannot handle any of the swill being passed out en masse to the teens and tweens and grown-up sexy. Just because it says "Victoria's Secret" on the bottle does not immeadiately translate as sexy!! Instead I wonder why you didn't have time to go home and shower after you woke up in a strange place smelling of cigarettes and daddy's liquor cabinet! Try to at least swipe a paper towel with water across....everything before going to work. Oh, dear, there goes my stomach again....

Amer November 21, 2012

I can't think of any perfumes I trully hate... wait, have I gone mad??? I will never get tired of stating HOW MUCH I HATE ANGEL! It usually goes like this: "Hmm, what is this I am smelling?", "It is my perfume do you like it?", "It is Angel isn't it?", "Why, yes! You are so knowledgeable!", "Not really, no. It's just I have learned to recognize that feeling of being violated through the nose (you attention whore)". Please IFRA, EU, unknown puppeteers of the universal conspiracy, do something to ban thin shit and I will never complain about your regulations again. EVER! (Oh and while you're at it make its male sibling disappear too. A-men, I loath you as much as your sister. However you are not as successful so you don't get to annoy me as much. You just might survive). Now that my little rant is over I can catch my breath and give my frantic fingers a break. So, interesting list you got there Patty. Youth dew I find bizarre. The name, the heavy indolic Jasmine, the colour that screams "that's gonna stain!", I just don't see the whole thing coming together. I don't hate it but I have not been offended by it... yet. Pomegranate Noir happens to be one of my favorite Jo Malones. Can't see it as hateworthy. I also happen to love Aromatics Elixir on any woman anytime but I see it is more like my thing than a universally likeable perfume. Let me contribute with some male oriented perfume hatred. Please, Jean Paul Gaultier, don't torture me anymore. Le Male is sickly sweet. Le fleur du Male takes this a step further and manages to be purely suffocating (same effect as Pure Poison Elixir). Kokorico is an inconsistent mix of notes but manages to be the best of the three (don't know if anyone would call this an achievement but... whatever) Sorry, I'm running a bit low in inspiration. Can't think anything else at the moment

Twitchly November 21, 2012

Betsey Johnson. If a perfume had a sound track, hers would go: "SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (breathe) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE(breathe) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

rebelf November 21, 2012

Hahaha, not sure what entertained me the most - the blog post or the comments! One of my most recent sniff - n - scrub experiences was with By Kilian - Back to Black. Was intrigued by the description and the name, ordered a sample and to me, it smelled like a My Little Pony dipped in gluhwein! A horrible, plasticky, rubbery, sweet doll smell along with old almonds and raisins. I couldn't stand it. Tried to wait for it to change into something more manageable but it didn't. Perhaps I'll give it another shot someday but my first experience was bleh.

FearsMice November 21, 2012

It's a sacrilege to even call it a perfume, but Elizabeth Arden's bilge-water Sunflowers is the worst stuff I've ever smelled (of course, I haven't smelled Secretions Magnifique yet...). Giorgio is next up on my hate list, followed closely by cheap formulations of Tabu. Thanks for letting me get that all that out in the open!

Linda Stanley November 21, 2012

thanks for joining me in my belief that all now EL's are the same thing...and they're so strong your nose could never tell the difference...just a chemical blast which obliterates all nose hairs, then moves on the the migraine center. (include eternity, escape, and their ilk in this list. tea rose, even) my list includes the much loved lutens chergui...just a gag fest on (or near) me. l'hombre dans l'eau...holy strident lemon chemical roses, batman! maison kurkidijan cologne pour le matin...not a dreadful scent in itself, but it smells exactly like deodorant carefree minipads. but my favorite gagtastic perfume story is this: i had a bottle of paco rabanne's la nuit on my swaplist for years...until one day i was flooded with requests for the stuff. WTF? turns out the "esteemed" luca has given it his stamp of fabulosity. this stuff smelled so very bad...like three day old wildcat piss on a horse's flank in the hot sun, but stronger. despite my urgings to the contrary, one of my favorite swapper s wound up with it. no idea if he was transcended luca style by the stench or not. but i still think luca was kidding around.

ChickenFreak November 21, 2012

The only one that really makes me shudder is Lutens Clair de Musc: I'm being buried in detergent scraped from under the lid of Mom's washing machine, circa 1978. But I like Fracas. Really. Love it. Don't hurt me. (ChickenFreak)

Stephanie Louise November 21, 2012

I love both the Marc Jacobs so incredibly much. Guess slut smells good on me.

Carrie November 21, 2012

"Clinique Aromatics Elixir. The Official Perfume of Mordor." This one caused me to burst out laughing at random times throughout the day. Thanks!

Flora November 21, 2012

Haters gotta hate - it's way more fun than being nice ALL the time, no? :-D Where do I start? How about Amarige? Nothing from Mother Nature ever got close to the formula for this Medusa. I can feel my throat close just remembering the last time I smelled it. It should have been named Anaphylaxis. White Diamonds has a similar vibe - the chemical "tuberose" in both of them would stun a rutting rhino. Amarige is the Picture of Dorian Gray in the attic of the wonderful, perfect Carnal Flower, which was composed by the same perfumer. See what happens when someone gives you a real formula budget to work with? Angel - I can enjoy it in an abstract way from afar as a really "interesting" aroma, but I can't apply it to skin. I have never tried its various flankers, and I feel no urge to do so. I have too many bad memories of Poison to ever enjoy it, I think. There was a woman in my office who over-applied it EVERY DAMN DAY back in the Eighties - no one liked her anyway, and that was just the toxic icing on the cake. She was the kind of person who wore stilettos to the office and did not acknowledge the existence of anyone who did not meet her standards. Poison seems just right for that sort of person. Light Blue, aka My Nemesis. I hate fake "marine" notes - if the ocean really smelled like that we would all stampede to Kansas and stay there. Compounding the crime is raspy, sour "wood" which supposed to be cedar, I think, although it smells more like bug spray, and a hideously huge woody-amber note that feels like a rusty pike up the nose. Rarely does a so-called fragrance hit this Cerberus of a trifecta. When it was at the height of its popularity, it seemed as though everyone was wearing it and I had to avoid the department stores. Speaking of which, Poeme is just as bad on the opposite end of the smell spectrum - heavy, incredibly rich and headachey, a chemical spill barely contained in a bottle. I walk very carefully past the Lancome counter just in case anyone has the tester out. So many perfumes are just so BLAH they are not even worth hating - bland, insipid, faceless chemical drones, legion in number and ever-increasing. To get on the hate list you gotta be really awful, and for my all-time worst, I nominate Christian Lacroix's abominable C'est La Vie. Loud, vulgar, crude, and oily, with one of the most animalic and musky (in the wrong way) base notes I have ever smelled - sort of like skunk meets rancid baby oil. That this was launched under the label of a designer at the peak of his fame is even more of a mystery, although I hated his clothes too - he seemed to specialize in turning gorgeous, expensive fabric into ugly, unwearable garments. That's a rare gift. It's a good thing that monster got discontinued, or I would never be able to shop at Macy's again.

nozknoz November 21, 2012

This is so hilarious! It turns out that even my most revered perfumista idols are Philistines about 50 percent of the time! Just pass those bottles of L'Heure Bleue, Shalimar, Aromatics Elixir, Fresh Pomegranate Anise, and Youth Dew right this way, please! The Sacred Cows that I would happily send to the glue factory are Fracas, Amouage Tribute Attar, Ubar and that whole numbered series, and Lancome Tresor. ~~nozknoz

Elena November 21, 2012

I used to work at a Clinique counter during college, and I got so sick of people spraying the Aromatics Elixir tester into the air right next to me that I pulled the spray nozzle off, put glue inside, and then put the nozzle back on. People would try to spray it and I would oh-so-helpfully give them the body cream to try, which would stay on them instead of asphyxiating me!

50_Roses November 21, 2012

Iris Silver Mist!! It is the only perfume I have ever put on my skin that actually made me feel as if I were going to vomit. It smelled like dirt, and not just ordinary dirt. I actually like the smell of garden soil, in fact much of my pleasure in gardening is in enjoying the smells of soil, leaves, mulch, and so forth. No, ISM smells like the fetid muck at the bottom of a muddy, swampy pond, probably with the remnants of a dead fish mixed in. I don't understand people who say it smells like carrots. Believe me, if carrots smelled even remotely like ISM, I would never eat another carrot ever.

tammy November 21, 2012

Mure et Musc was an absolute horror on me, darn near as bad as SM. I am always mystified at its popularity...on me, it smells like someone got a hold of that musk gland and just squeezed it all up in my face; I get the very literal sticky wet sensation one gets with that serumy stuff in scabby wounds or zits. Ugh, I'm gagging just thinking about it. In a way it's worse for me than SM, because I don't think anyone really meant that as a real perfume, whereas the MeM is beloved by many. Oh and put me on the Angel hatelist; I get straight up puke. I hate tuberose and it makes my throat feel scratchy, but it doesn't repulse me.

Martha November 21, 2012

O.K., after reading the comments on this particular blog, I just had to go out and smell some of the offenders. The most memorable was the Jimmy Choo and it was disgusting. It's got that chemical, fruity thing going, kind of like Angel (which is gross). Unlike Bart Simpson I did not say, "Smell ya later!" because I hope I never have to smell Jimmy Choo again.

Lynne Marie November 20, 2012

I love this post, you guys crack me up! Some perfumes just illicit strong reactions - to both extremes. My mother-in-law used to drench herself in Youth Dew, which my daughter and I nicknamed Youth Pew. Man, that stuff is ghastly!! Since then every EL perfume I have tried seems to have an undercurrent of Lauder-ade that reminds me of Youth Pew. I've yet to find a Lauder I can stomach but I hold out hopes for Amber Ylang Ylang. Funny that you smell Patchouli in Pomegranate Noir, Patty. I hate patchouli and studiously avoid any perfume where that note plays a starring role, yet Pomegranate Noir just smells like "wine jam" on me - perfect for an autumn day outside but I don't necessarily want to go to work smelling like eau de wino. Angel is one of my BIG hates - saran wrap meets vat of corn syrup meets dead mouse - ew!! Another scrubber for me is Cuir Beluga ( which I nicknamed Whale Bag) a smell so anciently, brine-ily decrepit I can't imagine anyone actually wanting to smell that way!!

Heather Wood November 20, 2012

What fun it's been to unload about all the awful stuff I've had to sit next to or even (sob) spent good money on when I bought blind. In general, I'm struck by how many perfumes marketed as "sexy" could have a useful second life as cheap abstinence promoters, except that they aren't cheap. I recently got a sample of one called "Kama" as in "Kama Sutra" (half a ml sample for $5.00 plus postage, hardly cheap) that definitely put me off any thought of sex until I could get a shower. I wouldn't even hug my husband until I could wash. Scent-memories are powerful, and I just don't want him to have that memory.

Mariekel November 20, 2012

Stop the presses! I forgot some of the Lush perfumes. That Breath of God made breath of dog seem attractive. Even a fish-and-potato-eating dog. And Imogen Rose—screechy, aggressively artificial—made me feel like one of the mean girls on the high school breezeway had just beaten me up and taken my lunch money.

Mariekel November 20, 2012

You know, I forgot about the most awful frag we got at Sniffa -- the new Yves Rocher Purple So Eiixir. Tuberose, vetiver and patchouli in one bottle, each beating the crap out of the other. It smells like the most artificially-flavoured grape soda mixed with industrial cleaning fluid. Even my dog winced.

FragrantWitch November 20, 2012

Love these kinds of posts! Ok, Fracas. Like you are being smothered by a giant buttered tuberose-lovinge circus fat lady. Ugh. Baiser Vole. Unventilated nursing/funeral home. Eternity (for anyone) Spike to the brain via tearduct. Escape. Same but via nostril. Secretions Magnifique. What I imagine Ted Bundy smelled like. Dzing! Elephant flatulence fanned with hay. Hypnotic Poison. AWhole bottle of almond extract leaked into vanilla bean paste and soaked some waffles. With cherries on top. Sillage of a tsunami. This is fun!

Andrea November 20, 2012

Ah! This is a though question because I think my brain tents to delete certain memories... I sure remember some perfumes I had rub off with soap as soon as I got home. DAVIDOFF HOT WATER: just makes me gag BLOOD CONCEPT (I think it was the ''B''): stinky dirty spicy oriental restaurant, It reminded me of curry (which I love) but in the most disgusting way Kerosene Copper Skies: sweet thick sticky and toasted. That's the smell I could imagine to find in hell...despite they say it smells of sulfur. CdM Guerrilla 1: rotten fruit, synthetic and overloaded with sweet flowers. It reminds me of a person that stinks and still wears some loud floral perfume. SL Fleur d'Oranger: I couldn't stand it. Flat, again sticky and candy like. Piver Musc: acid musk on an hold dirty man Ups! I would have some more, but I feel mean...

Grace November 20, 2012

Let the gnashing of teeth begin! How can you diss my Winter Delices? I adore it - making gingerbread in a snowy forest. Hmph! So There! Besides, The Worst Ever is L'eau d'Issey. Industrial waste doesn't begin to describe it.

Tyler Rose November 20, 2012

Poison. Hands down. Smells like something bad aliens would use to hose down the earth before taking over the planet.

rosarita November 20, 2012

You guys are hilarious! I have had a blast reading all the comments. I had to lovingly hug all my Shalimar bottles and whisper to them that these people are crazy, they'll always be wonderful to me.... I'm not much of a hater but I do have a few: another vote for Womanity, from the stupid name to the fruit/sugar/dead fish/rotten fig/pink juice, to the gargoyle bottle. The original Poison, which is like grape koolade from the depths of hell. White Poison which is death by chemically altered plastic flowers. Fracas - there, I said it. Again. That bitch hates my guts and I hate her back. I kept trying with Bandit, but it just smells like a drag race behind a small town high school to me: car exhaust, burnt rubber and singed grass. This is too much fun :)

Arielle Weinberg November 20, 2012

Nooooo! Not my sweet L'Heure Bleue parfum! Then again, I would be thrilled to be on the Krispy Kreme conveyer belt... My all-time least favorite perfume is Lush Lust, but that one's purely a matter of preference. I hate jasmine, and Lust is the embodiment of A Jasmine Perfume. My loathing for Aquolina Pink Sugar is well-documented. I was also pretty embarrassed for Chanel Coco Noir.

Liz K November 20, 2012

I usually don't post but.... Lone Star Memories- I live in TX. If it smelled like this I would have to move. First time in ages a fragrance has made me gag and knock stuff out of the cabinet to get to my scrubbing shampoo. Secretions Magnifiques- 199?, return from long weekend to dorm room shared with 2 lazy suitemates who don't empty trash. Open door to tiny, shared, unventilated bathroom and realize that it is that time of the month for someone and the garbage really needs to go out. Who would want to bottle this?!? Youth Dew- Husband said I smelled good: briefly considered divorce. Angel. Nuff said.

Anita Thompson Monroe November 20, 2012

Dzing. It's the worst thing I've EVAH met, except maybe Bandit. Then there are the general culprits of Angel, Womanity, and ANYthing that smells like grapefruit or praline candy. I read about a runway event in the 40's when models were spraying the audience with Bandit. Many were retching and fainting. My mother wore a disgusting thing called Jessica McClintock. She just couldn't get enough of it. It felt weird trying to avoid my own mother.

Patty Schneider November 20, 2012

Acasiosa - that jar of potpourri that you keep on top of the toilet tank. Spellbound - I barfed up a pecan pie. Eternity - a rose thorn grown to massive proportions, driven into your skull and out your nose. Red Door - sad, sad baby powder for grownups. En Passant - lilac-scented liquid laundry detergent (sorry, folks). Knowing - a hive of bees escaped and flew up my nostrils. Coco Mademoiselle - the smell of all the treats available at the movie concession stand. Tea Rose - the Rose That Ate New York. OMG OMG get it away from me! Aromatics Elixir - I took everything in my medicine cabinet and mixed it together. Womanity - Hawaiian Punch poured over caviar that's starting to go "off".

Sandstorm936 November 20, 2012

I cannot stand Poeme or Tresor. I had two aunts that wore those and my stomach had always churned when I smell those. Both of them smell cheap and chemically to me. Axe is one that I hate as well. Teenage boys and frat boys seem to use a half a bottle of this stuff and in spite of what my 34 year old guy friend says (he says it smells great), I still say it stinks. Jicky and Pour Monsieur are much better than most men's colognes out there. Eldarwen22 http://realmofeldarwen22.blogspot.com

Farouche November 20, 2012

Hands down 100% Love by S-Perfume. Smells like the dog rolled in something vile and then sicked up on the carpet. 100% Nasty.

Ann-Sofie November 20, 2012

Opium and Youth Dew makes me react in the same way I do when I read in the news that someone I thought was dead since decades obviously is still live and kicking: Uh? How could this be? And why? Serge Lutens Datura Noir is the signature scent of Bette Davis in "Whatever happened to Baby Jane?". If you have no reference for this movie, please picture google Bette Davis+Baby Jane. It is worth the extra trouble. Calvin Klein Truth starts off with a nice grassy note and then backstabbingly moves over to the sour odour of old vomit. White Linen is a great perfume, but unfortunately IS Nurse Ratched in "One flew over the cuckoo's nest" in fragrant formula.

Audrey November 20, 2012

Vanille insensee: vanilla armpit Shalimar: dry shampoo in dirty hair Amarige: Klassy ho Dior Cherie: strawberry semen. Bond 9 Chinatown: i'm seducing you then i'm beating you senseless with an incense jackhammer Agonist Infidels: love this but it pisses me off. 175 to smell like a Pike Place Market headshop? Really?

Mals86 November 20, 2012

There are a huge number of perfumes I don't LIKE, such as White Linen and Prada Amber and Gucci Premiere. But if I made a list of ten perfumes I truly hate, four of them would be Youth Dew, and five would be things RELATED to Youth Dew: Opium, Cinnabar, Obsession, Coco, OJ Tolu. Add Angel, and you have My Personal Nightmare list right thar.

Donix November 20, 2012

Hello everyone, One of the nightmares for me is hideous Ultraviolet by Paco Rabanne or Poeme by Lancôme. I was also traumatised by Rumba from Balenciaga. I'm sure there are more killers out there but one of the most difficult are those cheap smelling fruity florals that attacked most shelves in perfume stores... and also by poor reformulations of old classics... and what makes me laugh are weird faces of SAs when I say that the fragrance doesn't smell the way it used to before the change;-) There's one thing I have to say though, sometimes it's a matter of the amount and skills while applying the fragrance. A lot of people can't do it. I used to get a hard time with Obsession cause a lot of women used to put too much and for quite a while I thought it was disgusting. Now I know they put it on in a disgusting way.the one really need to know how to wear the fragrance.

Debbie R. November 20, 2012

Thank you for the genuine LOL's. THE worst: SL Borneo - vomit. Hey maybe it shares a note or two with Winter Delices. What on earth is the note that smells like vomit? Secretions Magnique - this one didn't smell like vomit; only made me nearly do so.

Martha November 20, 2012

Well, I don't hate Chanel #5, but I won't be buying even a small bottle to add to my small collection since I already have a big container of hand lotion. Actually it sort of reminds me of the old Aquamarine lotion my mother used to use. And, then there's Coco, which is simply a bottle of assorted house cleaning products. Yuck. And then there's Joy, I mean melancholy. Really, what IS the deal with this one? Oh yeah, I just have to add Charlie. Remember that? Ick, double ick. That one was a crime perpetrated on all us "young, independent" women/girls. Is that even sold anymore?

Dina C. November 20, 2012

I'm with Patty on the EL Youth Dew revulsion. A lady in my choir used too much of it, and now I can't stand it. Just singes my nose hairs. Another baddie: Givenchy's original Ange ou Demon is a horrible, screechy, nails on the chalkboard kind of scent to me. And of course, some SA generously gave me four or five carded samples of it! Coco Mademoiselle is the one Chanel that I can't abide. It does that fruitichouli thing on my skin which, frankly, is not my thing. Several others in this category: Angel, Flowerbomb, Jimmy Choo, and on and on...

dinazad November 20, 2012

Actually, I quite like some of these. And I love Aromatics Elixir! By far the worst perfume in the universe is EL White Linen. Antipathy in a bottle. In fact, disgust in a bottle. It may be white linen, but it certainly isn't clean - there's something massively unhygienic about it. I'd nominate this for Mordor's state scent. Dior Poison isn't much better - attack of the plastic monster. Mordor's office scent. Secretions Magnifiques - if that were what the real thing smells like, sex would go out of fashion. Instant celibacy. L'Air de Rien: smells like that plastic bag you kept your dirty underwear in while backpacking through somewhere or other for three months. Giorgio - dried blood on an old sanitary napkin. I'd better stop here before I make myself sick.....

Jackieb November 20, 2012

Oh this is so funny! Sometimes you expect certain fragrances to make you smell like a toxic nanna, (Oz for someones grandmother who wears too much Chemist Warehouse perfume) But it's heartbreaking to sample something supposed to be classic/universally gorgeous and get: Robert Piguet Baghari which actually shrinks your nasal passages, it is so shrill Chanel, yes Chanel, Beige. Oh if only it were neutral. Diptyque Do Son, I think I must be allergic to tuberose. Vanille Insensee, sweaty vanilla sorry not even roomspray. Thank you for the opportunity to sample!!!

Sherri November 20, 2012

I hear you on the Tampax fresh accord on the EL's. Hard to tell if Kimberley Clark copied EL, or vice versa. My worst perfumes ever: 1. Pampleune: Really??? Pure litterbox on me...I can't conceive anyone would buy this!! I guess it must smell good on someone (sure not me though)! 2. Versace Blonde: "Slut". I felt like I let a snake out of a bottle. It totally creeped me out. I'm admittedly not a tuberose fan, but I can appreciate them. I even like a few like CF and the MdO one. But THIS ONE is so horrific it literally drove me to tears. Y'know how sometimes you cry if you have to clean up vomit or worse??.....it was THAT bad! I took the bottle, put it in a ziploc and took it straight OUTSIDE and put in the trash. Lasting power of plutonium, too! Scary! 3. Kiehl's Musk: Dirty old man Also scary! 4. Rubj: What am I missing with this one? Everyone loves it! It was horrible-horrible-horrible on me. It smelled like a fruit over a dirty bathroom smell (spoken by someone who doesn't mind L'air de Rien, MKK et al). Did I get the wrong sample? I am still intrigued by this one and I'm sure I'll try it again at some point

Magdalena November 20, 2012

I'm not a Thierry Mugler fan, but I have nothing against his fragrances except one - I absolutely hate A*Men. It smelled bad on all of the men around me who have tried it, no exceptions, and finally they passed it on to me claiming it's more suitable for women, anyway. It's not. It's not suitable for anyone, well - maybe for a priest who's way too much into caramel treats, cause it smells like sweets&church. ;-) I have to agree with Marc Jacobs Lola and Dot, I'd just add Daisy to the list. I kind of agree on Estee Lauder Pleasures, too, but - while it's purely boring on me, it smells quite nice on my mom. I like Jimmy Choo. It smells rather uninteresting on paper, but on my skin the drydown is delightful soft toffee, and it lasts for hours. And I think I like Lorenzo Villoresi Teint de Neige, on some days. When it's cold and rainy, it's somewhat comforting. Another few on my hate list are: Chanel no 5, because to my taste it's way too aldehydic, almost suffocating. And Mademoiselle Chanel - the edt - something's just wrong with it, I can't quite say what. By Kilian Beyond Love is a cloying mix of tuberose, candycotton and rubber to my nose. And, Gucci Premiere turns into some pretty awful cat urine-like thing after three or four hours...

Jennifer Counts November 20, 2012

The sacred cow pic makes me LOL.. :D I share in the Pom Noir loathing, but I think maybe for a different reason. I can't stand the pomegranate note. It's sour and chemical and screechy on me. Shalimar, at least in its current formulation, made me think of changing a baby's diaper. It was toxic chemicals and then just baby wipes all over the place. I wanted to like Alien, but after the initial jasmine fades, I get a slightly minty windexy thing that I just can't get past. (I'll be the odd one out and say that Angel grew on me, though I hated it at first). I don't get the pickle thing in Good Girl Gone Bad, fortunately. That was actually the only one of the Garden of Good and Evil series that I liked. It's In the City of Sin that goes pickle-y on me. And Forbidden Games just made me think of shampoo. It could've at least had the courtesy of being eeevil shampoo. That could've been interesting. A couple of "oh-crap-that's-coming-from-me" moments: One was with Serge Lutens Arabie. I tried it on in a shop and then went about my day. Whenever I would get a whiff of it, I thought at first that I was smelling something from an Indian restaurant down the street from where I was, but then I realized it was me. I felt like I had spilled chicken tikka on myself and couldn't wait to get home and wash it off. The second was with Malle Noir Epices. I liked the first part and the middle of it well enough.. it was the drydown that was the problem. I was in my car, and I thought I smelled something burning, like burnt plastic or something like that. It kind of freaked me out a little and I was afraid something was wrong with my car... and then I realized that smell was coming from my arm.

Heather Wood November 20, 2012

I can recall decades of bad perfumes, including that forgettable era when everyone you passed on the street was lost in a dark cloud of Georgio. But in my entire life I've never smelled one quite as gag-worthy as Angel. Imagine the rotting lilies piled in the funeral home's dumpster. Now imagine drenching them in hot sugar syrup. Like that. While it's not in the same category of pure olfactory evil, I do have to put in a bad word for Tom Ford's Black Orchid. There's a certain appeal to the odor of a healthy and well-maintained compost heap, but most of us aren't tempted to roll in one and then go to dinner.

Mariekel November 20, 2012

Hoorah! The return of...TampaxFreshAccord!!..But, wait, no mention of the infamous Tom Ford ass accord?? Oh yes. Alien made me all but gag. And don't even get me started on all the more horrific Baby Jane aspects of Angel...shudder...I have a few olfactory sociopaths to add: Dammuso by Profumi di Pantellaria, aka Eau de Noxzema; Clean by whomever. Why in the world would anyone want to smell like CVS fabric softener? and then there is the excoriating memory of the first Juicy Couture 'fume that nearly gave me a nosebleed. It was like inhaling a Brillo pad. But Anita,dollface, Good Girl Gone Bad and pickle juice? for realz?? It is the first turberosy frag I've like in aeons --definitely sex-bomb stuff. And, yes, I have outgrown it, but I still have a bottle of that Index Pom-anise. So there.

E. Lime November 20, 2012

oh, my goodness! so glad to hear from someone else who cannot tolerate clinique aromatics elixir. to me, it smells like car-sickness and a musk-ox had a baby made of partially digested grass. i'm sure there's a market for that in mordor!