Leg Wars

Hey there Posse! Well this month is definitely turning out to be Leg Wars! Yeah. I have this stupid ankle that has caused me trouble on & off for years, maybe even over a decade by now. GOSH! It might be nearer to two. Time flies whether you’re having fun or having leg wars. On a dodgy wooden floor in a club I lost my footing in sky high high heels and came down like a sack of shit. It seems my tendon was so strong that it pulled a tiny chip of bone away with it. That little bitty piece reattaches till the next time I wobble, trip, fall or slide badly. Then all hell breaks loose. It’s painful, swells and loses mobility. No more high heels till it’s better. That happened just over a fortnight ago and was starting to get better till…

Yep, you guessed it. Some other trauma below the belt. Remember, this is LEG WARS! We have these really cool drains in our bathrooms. They’re square and have a metal rimmed tile sitting over them so they are sleek and look ra sha sha. Sometimes they pop out of their place just a little. Normally I’d notice and pop it back. This time though I was going for a wee in the very early hours of the morning and shuffled in blearily, without looking. BAM! I’d torn off a fairly decent flap on the ball of my OTHER foot. It was so painful and surprising that when Jin came to clean it up I burst into little boy wracking sobs. Blood everywhere. He salt baths it, dries and bandages it up.

Lastly, in the wee hours of the next morning I have finished taking a boiling hot bubble bath but leaving my left, gashed foot out of the water. Trying to manoeuvre myself out of the bath on one dodgy, already strained and swollen ankle with the other held high & dry was a VERY bad idea. You know it. I went slip, slop, splat and that poor, already tortured ankle got an extra going over.

Now I’m walking like a 700 year old man. Slowly and gingerly. It’s 100% easier to be mobile with socks & shoes on so I’m wearing them even around the house.

On a lighter note. I’ve also been wearing some pretty damn fabulous perfumes to lift my mood. Mon Guerlain Floral, 24 Faubourg, Pimiento+++, Ambre Ceruleen, Patchouli Patch, Jaipur Bracelet and French Grey have all been getting loads of spritzing love.

Leg Wars Perfumes

Another upside of this Leg Wars malaise is that I can spend as much time horizontal with my legs raised as i want. It’s been long, delicious sleep ins for me. Sometimes I have even been breaking my own house rules and getting my beautiful Greyhound, Paris, up on the spare bed for cuddles and naps. Perfect winter activity for someone caught in Leg Wars.

I might also have snuck across to Surrender To Chance and ordered some decants. SHHHH! I’ll let you know how I went when they arrive.

Hope you all are faring MUCH BETTER than me right now,
What do you all spritz when life turns a bit nasty?
Portia xx


  • Patty says:

    I just caught up on my reading from the last week, OMG, get well, hon!

  • Musette says:

    OMFG! Babysnakes! WtF are you DOING over there? Get a bath rail (since we Booms are getting up there, mfrs have begun making some elegant grab bars/rails – my 2nd bathroom has rubbed bronze bath rails that are THE SHIZZ! and I use the living snot out of them).
    Do not forget – ADA suggests the rails be installed horizontal (easier to grip than angled) and the horizontal makes it look less rest home-y.
    I remember when I cracked my sacrum and then (THEN!) tore a chunk of flesh out of my Achilles tendon on the other foot! Omg. Couldn’t walk for yonks!!!
    You and Paris snuggle, let Jin take care of you both! xoxoxoxo

    • Portia says:

      Hey Musette,
      I agree that a horizontal looks better but I think the angled one might be better suited to a shower/bath. More investigation needed.
      GAH! Any injury involving feet & legs instantly restricts. So annoying.
      Fortunately I’m well on the mend and ready for my next adventures.
      Paris couldn’t believe his good luck for a week or two. It’s going to be hard for him to go back to the regular ways.
      Portia xx

  • Anna Calarco says:

    Oohhh Portia!! Love to hear of Jin helping you he is so romantic….wishing you speedy healing and napping with Paris jinx and Jin..?
    When I feel low I think incense is the best for me ?

  • Jo Ann says:

    Feel better soon.

  • Calrayo says:

    Oh no, I hope you heal up quickly! I have a greyhound too – I hope yours is giving you plenty of get-well snuggles (the snuggles are pointy, but they’re great nonetheless).

    • Portia says:

      YAY for greyhound owners! HA! My Paris has worked out how to collapse his body in such a way that we fall asleep face to face. It’s like DOG-Origami.
      Aren’t they the loveliest dogs ever?
      Portia xx

  • Maggiecat says:

    Ouch! So sorry you’re having such a challenging season. Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way. Wear amazing scents that help you focus on a happier future.

    • Portia says:

      Thanks MaggieCat,
      I’m already open the mend (barring further dramatic adventures) and had the last nurses bandage done today on the ball of foot tear. It looks excellent and has all progressed very nicely.
      Portia xx

  • Ingrid says:

    Oh Portia, as much as I can empathize with you (battling leg wars myself) I did have a laugh when picturing you getting out of the bath tub. Always funny when it happens to someone else, isn’t it. I also spend a lot of time on the couch lately, reading one book after another. It’s too cold to do anything else. My comfort scent is Roma, I still love it after all these years. I wish you a speedy recovery!

    • Portia says:

      Yes Ingrid, it was like one of those old people movies made for kids to laugh at, it just needed music. Very bloody awkward!
      Hope your leg wars get better ASAP too.
      Do you have a favourite book genre?
      Portia xx

      • Ingrid says:

        History/cultural and social history, mystery/thrillers. Next on my reading list are “The Scent of Empires”, then “Easy Riders, Raging Bulls” as recommended by Val the Cookie Queen.

  • Dina C. says:

    Oh poor you, Portia! That sounds horrible! I hope your left foot heals up quickly and your right leg stops giving you grief. When I’m in misery I go for greens like No 19, Silences, Heure Exquise…for me they’re comforting.

    • Portia says:

      Hi DinaC,
      Fortunately I heal super quick. Tomorrow morning I go for final wound clean and bandaging at the doctors. YAY! It already looked nearly healed when we went and saw them next morning.
      The lovely green floral chypres. Perfect comfort spritzing.
      Portia xx

  • Jennifer S says:

    Oh no! That’s a run of….bad luck coming in 3’s and all. Never wore heels myself, already being tall I didn’t want to be ginormous lol. Feel better soon!

    • Portia says:

      Oh yeah. The rule of 3 is complete. PHEW!
      Ginormous is a Drag Queens stock in trade. The higher the heels and hair, the closer to goddess.
      Portia xx

  • Tara C says:

    Sorry to hear about all the accidents & pain, hope it’s better soon! Meanwhile perfume & puppy cuddles in bed sounds great. 🙂 I go for incense or gourmands when I’m feeling low.

  • Koyel says:

    Oh no!!!! So sorry for your ankle/foot troubles; I hope you get better ASAP!

    I just went through an appendectomy and have mostly been sitting about the house all day, every day. No exercise or long walks for me for a few more weeks 🙁

  • Kathleen says:

    Speedy recovery for both foot/ankle injuries Portia! Lower extremity injuries and healing require you to stay off your feet. Extra snuggles with you pup and time for perfume are the silver lining. I love your 24 Faubourg and Boucheron perfume choices, two of my favorites! xoxo

  • Tiara says:

    I think I’ll adopt the philosophy that if I’m ever in the same sad physical condition (gosh, I hope not) and that is any rule may be broken at any point at which I so decide. Best wishes for a speedy recovery, although I’m Paris might disagree on speedy.

    • Portia says:

      Hey Tiara,
      Yeah, Paris is the big winner in all of this. He’s started to get a little uppity around the place too now that he’s allowed on the spare bed. thinks he owns the place (we all know it’s Jin in charge really)
      Portia xx

  • March says:

    Oh my goodness Portia! That all sounds pretty terrible although the perfume portion sounds great! I think you should lounge around as much as possible, ordering decants and maybe reading something trashy. <3

    • Portia says:

      HA! Best Advice Ever March.
      Though I’m finding it really hard to focus for long periods on books lately. I’ll soak up alll the movies on TV though.
      Portia xx

  • JillS says:

    Feel better, Portia. So sorry you are hurting. I’m sending healing thoughts. I am now of the age where I can see the use of having a walk-in bathtub but I won’t get one because I don’t want to feel old. Getting out is harder than getting in. Thanks for sharing your favorite scents even though you are hurting.
    We all do klutzy things.

    • Portia says:

      Hi JillS,
      Funnily, we just had the talk about getting a safety rail put in above the bath. They are simple and strong, enough to keep my balance into the future.
      I’m A OK with getting old. Just need to be a little bit better prepared for things.
      Portia xx

  • Queen-Cupcake says:

    Aww, Portia! So sorry about all of your owies! It is good that you have Jin and Paris to look after you, though. How sweet a comfort that must be! I like your mood-lifting scents, and am partial to the L’Artisan Patch. (I have a big collection of patchouli frags.)

    My newest, most fave comfort scent is one I put together myself: organic Blue Lotus Absolute (CO2) in a carrier of cold pressed organic rose hip oil. Earthy, floral, mesmerizing and comforting.

    You know that high heels are terrible for your health, right? Yes, they are sexy. I wore them myself for years but now, beyond a certain age (ahem), they are not good. Sorry to lecture you–carry on, dear Portia, and heel better! (Sorry again.) XO

    • Tara C says:

      Ooh, where do you purchase your Blue Lotus extract from? That sounds fab.

      • Queen-Cupcake says:

        I bought on Etsy. Specifically, from GardenofEssences (no affiliation). Be aware that there are all different price points on the stuff, and read the descriptions carefully.

    • Portia says:

      Hey QC,
      Yes, there are few patchoulis around here too. I love its many facets.
      Yeah, high heels are a bitch but when you’re a Drag Queen for a living they are pretty much expected. Jin and I went and bought some super sensible low chunky heeled mules yesterday. It will be like walking around in boots.
      Portia xx

  • Cinnamon says:

    Ack. That does not sound fun. Hope you are mended very soon. I love 24 Faubourg, though haven’t smelled it for ages. The world here is ok, though given Monday was the first day of summer of course it’s gotten cooler and grey. Not fair.

    • Portia says:

      Hey Cinnamon,
      Yes, thanks, all mending up. I’ll be back to normal by next week.
      How naughty of the weather to not play ball. Fingers crossed for more seasonal weather soon.
      Portia xx