Blame Portia: Hexennacht Trashcan Man, London Fog, Creaky Floorboards, Winchester Mystery House, and Never Was a Cornflakes Girl.

Well, it seems like it’s all Hexennacht, all the time here at the Posse this week. Independent of March I was forced (forced I tell you!) to turn to Surrender to Chance to get some samples of Hexennacht after reading Portia’s review of Never Was a Cornflakes Girl. Without even checking beforehand March and I chose different ones to review. I haven’t read her post (it’s listed as being edited) but I am waiting with bated breath. I chose mine because I liked the names. So here we go:

Trashcan Man may have or may not have been named for the character in “The Stand” but given the listed notes (smoke, motor oil, low-octane gasoline) I am thinking that maybe there’s a King fan there. The actual juice on me starts off smelling kind of like NECCO wafers and violet chewing gum. It quite pleasant, but I was expecting Chevron and got Chowards.

London Fog is supposed to be “sweetened Earl Grey Tea, steamed milk, and vanilla syrup.” Kudos to them for getting some of the slightly metallic scent of Starbuck’s repeatedly steamed milk but it seems like this one was sweetened with Froot Loops. Not me at all

Creaky Floorboards “old, weathered wood, aged dark patchouli” could have been titled Head Shoppe: 1978 but in a good way. After a while the head-shoppy patch is supplanted by warm, waxed wood.

Winchester Mystery House is listed as all sorts of things from ginger snaps to fireplace embers. This one seems to be an oil and goes heavily on the cookie portion of the program with the vanilla, clove, and ginger drowning out the woods until late into things a wisp of smoke comes in to liven things up.

Never Was a Cornflakes Girl had Portia at a conundrum. “There are days when I want a tub of it to bathe in and others I hop in the tub to wash it off.” I was unfortunately in the latter category. I did a full-on Whitney-style “Oh Hay-ull to the no!” and scrubbed it right off. But then, in the interest of science I went back as sprayed again and made myself sit there. The initial blast (which to me smells like rancid popcorn- the kind you purposely avoided at those $1.50 theaters back in your yoof) but then morphs into something like Froot Loops of the Gods. The evil butter Monster seems always lurking in the background. I have a bottle of Lostmarc’h Lann-Ael (and it is still available) so my Cereal Divinity needs are covered there. I won’t be needing this.

There are a dizzying array of products from these guys, all of which are at quite decent price points. They also have a sample program, which is always a good thing. Creaky Floorboards and Winchester Mystery House are ones that I wouldn’t mind seeing in my Xmas stocking, but at the risk of sounding old and mean spirited I kind of get the idea that these are great names they decided upon but with the actual juice having little to do with the name. I mean, I like Mystery House the scent, but what does a ginger tea have to do with a home constructed by someone so haunted by the fact that her inheritance was based upon gun manufacture that she kept adding rooms and wings to her house in an effort to confuse the ghosts of those killed by those guns she was sure were haunting her? Could you have tossed a little sawdust and sweat in there?

Oh well, these are available at their site. My samples were from Surrender to Chance. Photos are mine, Pexels, and Wikipedia Commons.