Okay, I’m dashing in today. Training teachers, writing curriculum material, implementing improvement plans - I have no room left for work folks! I’m all about the smells and the plants, people. Wish my bank would understand. So work it is, and hence the brief(ish) post today.
I’m a positive person. Us Brits don’t always do positive in quite the same way as our more upbeat American cousins do, but I’m pretty much at the ‘Rah! Rah! Yay!’ end of the spectrum really. And I normally have only good things to say about scents. So, for a little bit of variety, and seeing as I have next to nothing to say about new scents right now (secret - I haven’t been wearing much, as so busy with the gardening stuff - such a Brit stereotype), I thought I might slam into a few I truly hate.
I don’t hate many things in life really - I’m you’re live and let live sort. Whilst not exactly laissez-faire, I always try to see where something’s coming from and give it some room for manoeuvre. Hating’s a little too strong for me, most days. Hey, I might not like it, but someone surely does. And that’s good enough. And hate - it’s such bad karma, dude. I’d rather the positive than the negative hyperbole, any day.
However, there are a few things that even for placid ole me bring out the nasty side. And I’m not talking designer scents either - I can’t really think of any that I feel strongly enough about to hate… I’m talking my niche nasties, my leprous disasters of limited distribution, my … you get the picture. I’m not even talking those things you love to sniff because their repulsiveness fascinates you. I’m talking those things that make you shudder, scents that are abject horror, perfumes to make you puke, fragrances that are flagrant abuses of olfaction.
And here they are. Apologies if you love these; I don’t (secret - I don’t know how anyone can. Please explain). You can tell me your hates straight after. We can still be friends.
Lorenzo Villoresi Incensi. Quite simply vile. Bitter, cold, messy, an abhorrent cacophony of notes. I never knew an incense could be worse than Messe de Minuit, but here it is. I love cinnamon, I enjoy incense, but here this foul brew conjures up a Satanic anti-sacrament in which I’d rather be eviscerated than have to sniff it again. Knocks his Piper Nigrum - top notes might be great but wait for the murky sludge of the drydown - into the shade in terms of awfulness.
Montale Musk to Musk. Delightful commenter grizzlesnort sent me a decant of this, and I pray I won’t offend you too much, J, by saying ‘thank you for the reminder’. I mean thank you by the way - it’s good to have a baseline for what a terrible musk fragrance can smell like. I had a small sample of this a while back that I seemed to lose. This decant reminded me of how exceptionally powerful a scent-related shudder can be. Oh my. It’s aldehydic and white musky, with a dank fleshrottiness underneath all that ‘pwitty pwitty’. It’s putrescence purtied up. Like a well-rotted corpse in lipstick and rouge.
Maitre Parfumeur et Gantier Jardin du Nil. Basenotes is down right now so I can’t access the reviews. But they’re worth reading. The MPetG site says of this bejewelled bilgebroth, “Returning from a voyage to Egypt, after having discovered mint and geranium rosa crops in the Nile Delta, Maître Parfumeur et Gantier created Jardin du Nil. The refinement of geranium, rose and jasmine is added to a fresh top note of hesperides, on amber, patchouli and vetiver warm notes.’ Guys, you should’ve just stuck some flowers in old water for a few days and sniffed the results. Unwearable. Unless you’re decaying brown silt sitting on a pond liner.
Over to you!
Finger image from ezthemes.com.
“bejewelled bilgebroth” LOL! I’m gonna have to remember that particular epithet
Well, no offense taken here as I haven’t actually tried any of these. It’s nice to read this kind of post occasionally, no lemmings created!
The only thing I’ve tried recently that makes me shudder is Kenzo Jungle l’Elephant. For the first five seconds or so I was good and then it was just all too much for me. Like unrelenting fingernails scraping down the blackboard, setting every nerve on edge until it could all be scrubbed off. Ugh, just the memory is making me shudder…..
I think L’Elephant is my fault, isn’t it? Sorry. :”> It is a lot to cope with, I admit. BTW thanks for Tigre, I wore it again yesterday, yum.
– your sometimes scent twin, sometimes Evil Twin
The bejewelled was due to the glitzy bottles in which MPetG like to supply their brews. I’m not a fan of the design.
That naughty March!
Actually, I don’t mind the Villoresi Incensi - definitely much nicer on me than the Commes des Garcons incenses that many love but are mud on me from the get go. With the Villoresi, I get a bit of cinnamon dust, then basic incense. No love, but no hate.
I won the Wen fig and March sent me a bunch of other stuff in with it, including some lovely samples. But, the Necco something or other? Now THAT was vile
(sorry March!) The top managed to loosen in transit and half the bottle spilt- I had to rescue the other stuff, getting the Necco all over my hands. 
Tried to wash it all off, to no avail. Now that is stuff I can truly hate! Soooo……
Remember the discussions awhile ago about what could beat up Mitsouko? Weeelll, I think March found it. When I couldn’t get all the Necco off, I thought, hmm, what will cover over this hideous stuff? I know!
Super, duper, wonder perfume - Mitsouko!!!
Wrong!! Oh. My. Gosh. What a stinky combo!
oh. my. god. are you talking about the candy heart one? It LEAKED?
Seriously, was the rest of the stuff salvageable, I hope?
Did you have to call in the local HazMat folks?
So sorry! I thought, well, it’s just too sweet for me, I hate candy scents.
Oh my goodness. You poor thing. There should a free counselling service with that scent…
Necco? Like Necco Wafers?
Mistakes Were Made. I may possibly have sent her a Necco-candy-scented fragrance. Hey, somewhere out there, somebody might like it…
wth is Necco?
Necco wafers are wonderful little candies … well actually, they’re sort of like a cross btwn hardened frosting & flavored plastic but they’re WONderful really & hugely nostalgic. http://www.oldtimecandy.com/necco-wafers.htm
We used to use them when we played “communion”, an especially intriguing concept to baby Catholics who are not yet allowed to taste the wafer! There is another wafer that was even better to use for that but I can’t remember the name - it was round but had a bit of a hump in it, like a Frisbee and they had nearly NO taste and you held them on your tongue to dissolve, exactly like a communion wafer. They looked like they were made of fiberglass insulation (probably were).
I remember my cousin and I would dress up my little brother in my flannel nightgown and my mother’s scarf and he would be the priest and all the kids in the neighborhood would line up to get ‘communion’….
…okay, time to take my meds
I usually cannot comment due to the fact that all of you are SO far ahead of me in world of scent — agghh!!! and I think I am getting to old to catch up. However, YES, we used those frisbee-like, cardboard, made of nothing natural, candies as “communion” wafers. I think they were called “flying saucers” and were two pieces “glued” together with some tasteless little colors balls inside which could be used as “pills”.
In the UK they had sherbet inside them - not American frozen sherbet but fizzy sugary stuff (bicarbonate of soda and some ther stuff, I guess). Pavlova - never feel like you have catching up to do. All commenters are welcome. It’s great to have you here!!!
Pavlova, you are my BFF!
Those were the exact candies I was thinking of. And it’s good to know we weren’t the only communion freaks out there!!!
Btw, join the club: I’m so far behind these folks it’s all I can do to simply sit at their feet and glean the little droplets they let fall!
…but it’s fun, innit?
Looks like I fit right in with you 2. I remember on b’day cakes there were edible flower decorations that were that type of wafer. My cousins and I would use them as pretent communion wafers. Funny old world.
You lnow those little hearts with sayings on them that are a Valentine’s Day classic? Neccos. I have used the wafers to roof gingerbread houses as well. The factory used to be in Cambridge, MA. A sweet vanilla smell frequently hung in the air, yum!
NECCO= New England Confectionary COmpany.
Most famous product, NECCO Wafers http://www.necco.com/OurBrands/Default.asp
I think Necco’s are a type of candy, sweet, flavours and colours not known to humankind? I’m a chocolate lover so don’t know candies.
Who knows - someone, somewhere might actually like the Necco scent, but my vote is NO!
, most of the rest was salvageable, and March found possibly the only perfume in the world that can totally cover up Mitsouko 
But no worries, didn’t have to dial 911 for HazMat
Hmmm, now what can I send in return?![:-\](http://perfumeposse.com/smilies/yahoo_question.gif ":-\")
“
A Borneo and Onda mix (see below)?
this (above) is possibly the funniest emoticon i’ve ever seen.
What fun hatreds to read about! Have you tried Parfumerie Generale Haramens yet? Are you interested in trying it? Your prose would reach a new high in the detestation meter. I have never smelled anything else as disgusting that came from a bottle. (Admittedly, I’m not a lab technician at a body fluids and solids sample lab.)
The funny thing is that I have tried the Villoresi and wasn’t struck particularly by it, positively or negatively.
One can’t wear perfume out to gardening, can one, if one wants to smell the fragrances of the flowers and leaves? I put on L’Artisan The pour un Ete yesterday before going out to the garden. What possessed me? I couldn’t smell the wonderful Boronia or South African species gladioli. (Not the tall summer things people generally associate with the genus.)
Actually, come to think of it, I did work in a lab testing sewage one college summer, and the smell was nowhere near as bad as that of Haramens.
Haramens and Asso — uh, Aomassai. I kept those around for awhile just for the shock appeal. I know (?) a buncha people love both of those, what are they smelling?
Assomatic isn’t quite so bad…
Point of fact, it’s great!
Aomassai works for me too. Can’t think of it in the same category with Haramens at all.
Whoo boy, Haramens! Given the notes, I thought it would be something nifty to try for a dressy lunch. It went on like hampster piddle on cedar shavings, and stayed that way until I washed it off when I got home. On the upside, the smell made for a great appetite inhibitor–it could be the best dieting aid in existence!
Good point! I got very nauseated.
I also much prefer the species gladioli. I like some showy flowers, but not ones like that.
Haramens - so far, i’ve managed to avoid it. That bad, eh?
Horrible. Think very old pee-pee
Mmm. Nice. The monkey is lovely though. I want to use him/her too.
I get person with poor hygiene who has lots of sex by rolling in garbage in urine-covered alleys.
Now, that’s the least erotic description I’ll read all day, I betcha!
Which reminds me of ….
a friend’s husband was unfaithful - she found out when the OW called her to let her know she was expecting!…anyway, before she confronted him with the situation my pal took all his colognes (Aramis was his favorite) and peed into the bottles! A LOT!
Oddly, he never noticed which, I think, was her goal - she didn’t want him to throw them out;she wanted him to wear them with her knowing he was wearing her effluvium. Ow!
Now, had it been cat pee…….
Good for your friend! What satisfaction!
Too funny!
Well, that’s a relief. I’ve made a few mistakes reading reviews, thinking, “Excellent! I shall wear this!” and when it arrives, thinking, “I’d rather participate in a rat fight than wear this,” and feel all left out of the niche clique because I hate it. All of the Villerosi’s are too much for me, but Incense does have that “Aunt Madeleine left something in the cardboard box again” aura to it. Thanks for making it all so real. And some great metaphors as well!
Glad you enjoyed it. I’m yet to find a LV that I actually like. I can respect a couple. It’s the same with Etro, as well. Maybe (and watch as I move into sweeping and clumsy generalisation that conflates a set of scents with their geographical place of manufacture) I’m just no-go when it comes to Italian fumes…
Okay, I guess it’s up to me to dive into some new loathed waters.
Patou 1000. I’m willing to concede that I might have gotten some bad juice here. Because this was bad, bad juice. My very first scrubber! I learned about washing with handsoap, then coating with olive oil, then washing with laundry detergent, then desperately trying to cover it with a more palatable scent, then slathering my hand in oil again. Floral death march right up into my skull.
Arabie. I’ve whined about this before. It bears repeating: full garbage can in the back of a cheap Indian restaurant, 11:30 p.m. on a Friday.
Etro Vetiver. Here are my actual brief notes: “Earthy, dirty (tobacco), with smashed grasses. It’s not smooth, exactly, but it is a nice dry blend of stuff you’d find on a low forest floor, right at the edge of the meadow. Important update, one hour later: horrible on the drydown, bitter and sharp and hates me.” I was stuck at work for the drydown, and no matter how much I scrubbed, it would not go away.
Parfumerie Generale Querelle. It was another vetiver trap! So lovely on the top, so treacherously cruel and bitter after that (and after I’ve swabbed it on my skin, of course).
(In case it might appear that I am just unable to handle the vetiver, I do love Sel de Vetiver and several other scents that feature it heavily.)
I don’t mind the vetivers you mention (though the Etro one is BAD on my skin), but I’m not a fan. Arabie - well, it’s a great great love of mine. 1000 is a beautiful, old-fashioned, elaborate rococo fantasy of a scent, but could smell bad to some noses I guess.
But a bad batch of 1000 can bring up your lunch, even worse than a turned bottle of Joy EdP (I know of what I speak, alas:-&
If you are not into that sort of floral AND the po’ juice has shuffled off its mortal coil…..well..
I do wish you were doing dept. store scents - I took a quick turn through the local Bergners (mid-level dept store in the Midwest) and ….ow! It may be that I’m simply unable to cope with that many fragrances at once but somehow I don’t think so. I was very good, though, March: I actually put my vintage/niche ’snob’ in check and tried stuff on. I’m feeling very virtuous, as I work to attain Perfumista status
Too much dept store brings on a headache more than righteous fury though, doesn’t it? Maybe next time (ibuprofen at the ready…)
I think I will bring a couple of those industrial-strength wipes (the ones that can kill a CDC Level-4 virus) and a neti-pot! My bathroom reeks - I threw the sweater in the laundry bin and El O threw his work clothes on top of it! You’d think the smell of hot metal shavings would mask it …you would be wrong!
Some of those aromachemicals were byproducts of war, after all…
indeed, dept. store perfume hunting leaves me with a headache every time. and i’m starting to wonder if my local mall hasn’t diluted its testers with water, cause i swear, some of them i can’t smell at all. like Samsara. and Omnia. nothing.
and capriccio - please do try another sample of 1000. i’m really thinking (hoping!) what you tried had turned, because on me, it has exquisite light chypre touches, and a rich base with bits of patch and civet that keep it from being a total flower-fest. on me, anyway. here’s hoping it works better for you next time. if not, then perhaps we are evil fragrance twins.
Aww, I actually like most Villoresi scents. Incensi was my first incense and struck me as a very ecumenical scent: joss sticks, church incense, Japanese, Indian, Christmas, Chinese, Occitane incense, all mixed together. Like the name says: Incenses. These days I find it a bit tame and undefined, but not disgusting in any way. And Piper Nigrum is a glory on me!
Terrible: White Linen (I can’t even describe it. It makes me want … err…. eat backwards). And Alliage which smells like the water in a vase of wilted chrysanthemums you forgot to throw away before leaving the country for three weeks. Come to think of it: most EL scents smell pretty awful on and tome.
MPG Soie Rouge - I sprayed it on in the Printemps ‘fume department and explored Paris with my arm as far away from me as I could possibly hold it. That stuff is vile. Sweaty feet and the persistent cold smell of boiled cabbage (love cabbage but not the way the smell hangs around) in the hallways of an unloved house.
L’Air de Rien - I really tried to love this, but, as I mentioned before, I just can’t get over the “dirty underwear sweating in a plastic bag in your backpack on a three week trip through the jungles of Indonesia” accord.
We disagree, which is fun. I’m currently addicted to l’air de rien. Can’t get enough of it.
I must love stinky knickers!
Hehehehe…funny and fascinating, as always, and, of course, now I wanna smell these. It’s that horror movie mentality. I love Rosemary’s Baby, so I might love Incensi. Or at least be wonderfully horrified. Win/win either way.
Second vote here for Arabie. The only scent I’ve ever rushed to scrub off. No wait, I scrubbed off Profumum Thundra the other day, but at least I waited around for awhile. I just got tired of it mighty quick. One spritz of Arabie and I thought I was gonna take myself to the emergency room. Bleach!
I am a horror fan also…..I want to smell these scents.
You Arabie haters! I feel sorry for you, I really do. I might have to go spray heavily to make that poor maligned ‘fume feel better…
I got yer back on that one, hon. Arabie is me…
It’s both of us!
Loving Arabie here too!
HAHAHA !
“Better living through chemistry”? as the ads so vehemently tout….
I LOVE smelling horrid things that fascinate- but I draw the line at wearing them, alas.
Usually.
Too numerous to list !
Sending you kisses for a good laugh so early in my day…
Kisses back, hon. Say hi to the big guy.
Lorenzo Villoresi Incensi The ONLY perfume sample I have ever thrown in the trash. And that was a simultaneous arm movement as I stripped off my clothes, threw them in a huge bonfire I had started with my other hand and then ran towards the shower. Love Piper Nigrum though. Great post, hope work lightens up for you!
Work’s fine really. I love it, but it can get a little too absorbing…
Glad someone feels the Incensi loathing!
I don’t know about Incensi but I once ordered a sample of Villoresi “Patchouli” (being a patch fan) and found it unwearable, and wondered if they had really sent me the fragrance or some waste from a chemical factory. Let’s see, other hates: Parfumerie Generale “Cuir Venenum”, lots of sweet venenum (sticky orange syrup) and not much cuir (the little you get, it doesn’t smell new). And, although this will make me lots of e-enemies, “Ambre Sultan”, which has a strong medicinal note that I really dislike.
Well, it’s good that we have different tastes, or it’d be so terribly dull!
OI actually find the top notes of Ambre Sultan startlingly unpleasant too. You’re not alone. And I generally like medicinal smells (Patcvhouli24, I’m lookin at you, kid).
medicinal? unpleasant? huh … all i get is a touch of spice in the amber. liquid gold, baby! and sexy, too!!!
*runsofftotryASagain,half-hopingformedicinalweirdness*
So agreeing on the Cuir Venenum, by the way. Never got that one at all. Just nauseating. Wish I could be funny about it, but I can’t.
Love this post!
I don’t vehemently loathe too many scents, but IPdF’s Limone di Sicilia would make that category. Filthy, musty, murky cleaning water. Vile to the extreme. I’m certain Catherine used something similar to this to torture or fatally poison her enemies. Also detest, abhor, etc. MPG’s Grain de Plaisir. Should I ever commit some heinous crime, dousing me in this celery laced bilge water is all that would be required to punish me in full.
Grain de Plaisir (shudder).
I think I’ve only ever sniffed one iPdF - the amber one. It was nice… but not exciting.
I agree with the vile assault of the LV Incensi, but the real puke-maker (sorry, but true) for me is another IPDF-Miele Rosa. Soapy, yes, but laced with some truly gaggy undertone of rot. The only other real nasty I can vividly recall was Secretions Magnifiques. Sent all in my apartment complex running, would not wash off
I’ll avoid it, thank you very much. Secretions Magnifiques (sduch a silly name) I found unpleasant but not retch-worthy. It just left me cold. Morgue-like. With a dribble of semen on the side…
I’ll second Secretion Magnifiques. It’s so awful I forbid myself to even remember it, or I’d have mentioned it among my pet horrors.
It ain’t nice.
“morgue-like”? “pet horror?”
damn it, i give up! now i HAVE to smell this stuff!!!
I love today’s post. I’ve had a grueling past couple of days & the prospect of reading a bevy of spleen dumping posts charms me no end. I’m sure I could compile a gak list for you but right now the one outstanding niche horror memory is Prada Oeillet, and it wasn’t my skin that refused it, it was my dear friend S. There we were being all “we belong here despite our downscale appearance”, testing things at the Soho Prada boutique when she made the most horrendous face & put a bottle down with undue force & haste. “Fish!”, she said. Not believing her I grabbed her wrist & sniffed deeply. I don’t think I’ve ever thrown someone’s limb back at them before. She says I actually jumped backwards. It did indeed smell like Eau De Gutter Outside Chinatown Fishmarket In August. Not a carnation in sight, just old fish.
Ugh. Even *I* wouldn’t try that….wait, my horror mentality is kicking in. Yes, I would like to smell it. The sheer horror appeals to me.
Not to wear, just to sniff it and wonder how anyone could make something so vile. 
I don’t think it smells like fish on other people, it’s only S’s freakish skin that created that horror
Huh. Does she do that to a lot of things?
Usually her skin eats sweet & magnifies cold. She smells good in ambers & vanillas & favors Frapin 1270, if that’s any help …
I think I’ve found my skin twin!
It’s post-lunch here, and now I’m feeling a touch nauseous…
Well, you know that all you’ve done is make me want to smell these? And to vent on my own vile discoveries? But first: exactly how are we to scrub off these things that make us nearly wretch?
Okay, on to the discoveries I wish had never happened. Most attacked like a biological agent: closing up airways, inducing headaches, making me wonder if I were going to puke any second…
Borneo, Paname, Safran Troublant, CB I Hate Perfume Musk Reinvention, Jar Galconda, New Haarlem, PG Bois Blond, Orient Extreme. I bet my vile musk beats your vile musk.
Oh, Lee, I MUST comment: great pictures for this topic!!!! Where on earth do you find them? All of you do a great job on this. I particularly love these.
Thanks Debbie. I just do a google search is all. I think I typed in horror scream this time and looked beyond the Janet Leighs…
Hey, I either like what you’ve listed, or never smelled em (Golconda, Paname, Orient Extreme). I think CB MUsk is phenomenal. But it is very dirty.
The baking soda below works a treat at removing stench - just be sure to moisturise afterwards unless you’re happy with the flaky pastry look…
Well, you know I love the skanks. L’aire du Rien….soft, nice scent. But that CB Musk…man!! As for Borneo, I *know* I have smelled vomitus that smelled like that. I’m not kidding or engaging in hyperbole. Talk about a scent going wrong on someone.
I want to try Secretions Magnifique. I want to wear it to my next horror movie.
They’ll think you’re in the wrong type of cinema, if you get my drift…
Bwahahaha!
Yessssssssssssss!!!!!!! Soul sister!!!! Borneo smells like somebody threw up their Easter basket.
And not really in a good way.
That’s hilarious. Rien is like, the full barnyard to me. Unwearable. CB Musk is, you know, a ripe but delicious skank. But people smell my CB Musk in my ‘fume closet and yank their heads away like something bit them. Which I guess it did. :”>
March, why do you bite people when they go near your closet?
/
Because they smell so tasty!
I was pretty shocked when I didn’t like it, I must admit.
ok, i admit it - i despise Borneo, too. the first time i tried it, i was really trying to tough it out and not wash it off, and several hours into the scent hell, i tried to eat a bagel and nearly puked.
but for some reason, Borneo just fascinates me, and i keep trying to wear it. what the hell’s wrong with me?
but my scrubber extraordinaire? y’all are probably not gonna believe this, but … it’s Vol de Nuit. really. i don’t know why. what a pukefest.
and i LOVE old Guerlains, and i’m totally fine with their base. i should, by all accounts, love it, but instead, it is an evil scent from hell on me.
I had that happen with Jicky (I nearly typed “Jucky”) but I suspect menopause is wreaking havoc with my old standbys. For yonks I wore Jicky into the ground….and then, about 4 months ago, tried it after a long hiatus. My SA was NOT amused, with me hopping around, trying to get the stuff off and her exasperated associate hissing “oh, for heaven’s sake” as he grabbed my arm and vigorously scrubbed it with Clinique #4 Industrial Strength Toner. Quite a smell.
Remember that sawdust the janitor would throw down whenever some poor kid would throw up…….they would always leave the ick there, just cover it up with sawdust. Sort of like that.
Smells can warp for various reasons - maybe it’s just that…?
Probably is - I’ve noticed a lot of old friends suddenly turning all bitey and mean on me. Very sad
But that just gives me a no-guilt opportunity to sow my oats further afield, yes?
Exactly. You’re guilt-free, sweetums.
let the oat-sowing commence!
Completely agree about LV Incensi: cinnamon and awfulness! It’s probably my most-hated “respectable” niche (not counting stuff like ELDO SM or that supersweet Nez a Nez line). Strange, though, because I generally like both incense and LV; I really enjoy, for example, both Messe de Minuit and Piper Nigrum, which seem to be far from your favorites. I wonder what Lorenzo puts in his incense to make it so awful.
Musk to Musk seems inoffesive to me; I can’t get much out of it either way. And Hermes Nil I like (in the abstract–I have no interest in wearing it).
The Hermes Nil is lovely. The MPetG Nil is a whole different (wet and rotting) garden…
Aah, lovely snark! Wish I had tried any of these… Can’t really recall anything I find that repulsive apart from the infamous Secretions Magniqies… I do hate the honey/urine accord in scents like Miel de Bois, Kouros and Body Korous though…
Right now I’m trying MH Piment des baies which I find pretty bad - a badly composed cacaphony of musty old shower room, coconut suntan lotion, “fresh” schampoo and some nice spices thrown on top. Not horrendous though…
Btw, did you know Les Senteurs have the supposedly discontinued L’Ombre Fauve? When I asked the pretty young Frenchwoman in the store about it she insisted it was brand new from Paris and seemed to have no idea it had been released as a LE months ago.
I didn’t know that about les Senteurs. Thanks for the tip off! And Piment des Baies. I love the nutmeg, but something in this makes my stomach flip in a very bad way…
Oh, now I get the nutmeg too! I do love nutmeg, but nutmeg schampoo? No thanks, I prefer it in food…
L’Ombre Fauve is not in their webshop but I swear I saw several bottles in the store. I didn’t buy it because I couldn’t recall if I liked it that much, but if I keep telling people about it I might have to before it’s all gone…
A few of the posters here love that. I’m gonna run upstairs shortly (I’m supposed to be working on all of this curriculum bewuggins)and retest my sample…
I adore my OF-I take the bottle out and cuddle it on days it’s not worn.
Lee - LOVE this post. It makes me feel sooooo much better when I can’t appreciate high art niche stuff.
The 1 scent that I threw in the trash (after wrapping it in duct tape and 3 layers of aluminum foil) was Regina Harris’ Amber Vanilla. 2 tries and I couldn’t scrub this stuff off fast enough. No amber. No vanilla. Just something evil and wrong.
I think the next one to get the same treatment will be Burberry Touch for Women. This was the only other scent (since the RH) that sent me running for the showers soon after application. I’m gonna give it one more shot - but I’m not optimistic…..
That’s what the trash is there for. I’m sure some of these scents could be handled by arms dealers…
Ha! I have LV Incensi on my wish list! I’ve tried other incense fragrances recently, and still like the warm, woody notes in my sample of Incensi. (I prefer it to Messe de Minuit.) I tried to join in on the fun, but looking through my notes, couldn’t find any niche fragrances I found, um…vile. There are plenty of fragrances I don’t like (Amouage Jubiliation 25 for Women…I’m talking about you), but I don’t doubt that others probably love the ones I find scrubbers. It’s a good thing we can be open to lots of voices and tastes in reviews. (Hope the perfumers have thick skins!) It will be fun to read the new Luca Turin/Tania Sanchez book in a few weeks, won’t it? I have enjoyed Luca’s descriptions in his previous writing, even when he loved things that I didn’t like at all! Wonder if they named any perfumes as “nasty”??
(Not offended that you hate my Incensi…. regards, Gail)
Nothing wrong with healthy difference, Gail. Beauty, eyes, beholders etc.
Oh yeah, Luca and Tania both have a talent for cutting to the chase when they dislike something… Should be fun.
Lee, what a perfect post for today! We are having yet another day of “wintery mix”- which is basically a euphemism for snowy drizzle (snizzle?)- and I am cranky and chilled and just want the weather to make up its mind! Snow or rain, but for the love of Lucille, don’t do both! (OK, am now covered in Incense Extreme. All is right with the world now, thanks to ANDY!)
Thought this was an opportune time to share my no-fail scrubbing recipe, which is a combo of tips for removing mustiness from wet, forgotten towels (baking soda)and getting rid of that post “Chicken with 40 cloves” garlic smell (soap up with a stainless steel utensil)…TONS of baking soda, some soap and a wee bit of water. Then scrub up along with a stainless steel utensil - I use a soup spoon. May need to repeat. Give it a try and let me know how it works! Oh and BTW, I was scrubbing LV Donna…I know that’s gonna kill people, but holy kripes! Something’s sharp as knives in there! LOVE Garofano, though…go figure…
Heather
And it’s turning cold again here, just in time for the Easter holiday. It’s upsetting my seed-sowing schedule no end, I tell you. We might even have a frost or two before the week is out. B’stard cold (okay, so it’s not NH cold, but still. I have Californians visiting all next week. D’you think 3 comforters on their bed is enough?)
I tried your tip - already used baking soda. Shaal Nur (yuk) gone in a trice! Thank you!
Maybe. I’d recommend you get one of those nifty British towel warmers installed if you don’t have one already.
Aah, we don’t have one, but they’re old dear friends, so I know they’ll survive without too much kvetchng.
Depends. Are they from N. CA or S.CA? Lived in SF for a spell and it can get quite chilly, esp. west of about Presidio Heights, due to the fog (which I love!) Cold is cold, cold I can handle with a modicum of grace. WET cold is hell, it just seeps into your bones. And don’t get me started on my seeds! Mine are shivering in their little packets…haven’t had the heart to start them yet.
Shaal Nur was a tough one for me as well. My 6 yo. said it smelled like the local plant nursery…glad the scrubbing was succesful!
All the Best, Heather
Palo Alto, so officially No Ca, but perfect weather really. No fog in that part of the Bay Area…
Well, I’m overrun by seedlings already, and I’ve not really started yet. The veg beds are half-dug, I’m almost good to go…
Lee, when you get a minute could you check for my post on Patou 1000 in the dustbin?
xo
Aha!!!! It senses your inner smut! I’ll go look…
What I would give for some inner smut!!! Right now all I can sense is an inner need for some sleep (you know you’re beat when sleep is the New (you know what I mean - no need to alter the smut-o-meter again
um, I meant ‘alert’, not ‘alter’.
zzzz
poor thing!
March beat me to it AND removed all the smut. We are now officially smut free! For all of five minutes.
Okay, since you asked, and I’m feelin’ feisty.
Discounting/eliminating things that are *supposed* to smell disgusting (Secretions) and the entire Nez a Nez line…
I have bagged and tossed exactly two samples:
1) Borneo
2) Are you ready? …. I went to toss Vero Onda, but Louise wanted it. I mean, JM&J, what are you people smelling in that thing? Everyone is wild for it. All I can think is, it must be the equivalent of Prada Oillet on Divalino’s friend. I gave it to L on the hope I never have to smell it again.
I’ve never sniffed any of the Nez a Nez blap. Borneo is on my ‘next to buy from Serge list’, though it took me a while to love it. It shares a lot of oddness with Onda, even if they’re not similar. It makes patchouli strange, and Onda makes vetiver strange. In fact, the first few minutes of Onda aren’t too pleasant for me. There’s a battle going on between sweet/feminine and earthy/stale and I nearly become its victim. But then, it transforms and smoulders. It’s on the edge for me, vetiver-wise. Almost undoable. But wow, it’s amazing too.
signed Lee the inarticulate.
So….what did Borneo seem like to you?
Me or March? Me: an austere, refined, cerebral patchouli, removed of all its earthy connotations and made of shadows. It’s Angel taken out of the fairground and placed in a 30s film noir.
Oh for pete’s sake!
– March the No-Taste
again
The perfect rejoinder to my pretentious waffle!
Mothballs. Mothballs made by Satan. Along with the smell of some other type of balls … and vomit. Lots of vomit. A candy-colored rainbow of chocolate vomit. Did I mention Satan’s mothballs?
And then the drydown comes along and things get ugly.
I’m loving your comments today, my lovely!
Hah! Now I know what to wear on our next coffee date! And you’ll probably ask “what’s that yummy scent you’re wearing”
I was thinking of Onda, but Borneo would work, too![:-\](http://perfumeposse.com/smilies/yahoo_question.gif ":-\")
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tee hee
Dang, WHERE is my Edvard Munch Scream emoticon?
BTW, Louise, I keep retrying Guess Gold, but it smells better on you. It dries down nicely on me, but there’s that fresh bit at the beginning. And yes, I was in your stomping ground today. I bought a bottle of 4711 the size of a large gin bottle for $18.
For drinking or scenting?
loved Borneo from day 1, contemplating a full bottle, maybe that gorgeous limited edition bell jar that probably costs a zillion dollars on ebay by now
Onda - I agree, what do people get that I’m not getting? It’s a mix of not-nice body odours and very-unhealthy-person vomit (which is distinct from, and definitely worse than, healthy person vomit). After an hour, some days there is some nice patchouli there. But I have to get through the first hour. I don’t get how this is similar in composition/approach to Guerlain’s Djedi.
The Lutens that I keep double zip-locked are Rahat Loukham and Miel de Bois. Repulsive on my skin is an understatement!
Whereas I get medicine from a dusty cabinet somewhere in the past. Lovely. Onda, btw. We agree on Borneo.
I even put my speech mark in the wrong place. Dweeb.
Delightful post!
I have to confess I feel the same way about some of Possets’ scents — Id, Ego, and Superego, for instance. They are a hideous mishmash of lavender, chocolate, and stuff. They make me cringe. Also, Villainess’ Grundy “Whipped” lotion: my husband’s comment when I gamely tried it on was, “What is that supposed to evoke? Hayfever?”
Niche houses can be hit or miss (I am actually quite thoroughly enthralled with some of the goodies from Possets and Villainess! That’s why the bad ones are so shocking, like a betrayal.)
I like your husband. The ready wit of Bea Arthur, no less!
I’ve not heard of any of the fragrances you mention… a ‘hasn’t crossed the Atlantic’ thing?
Of course, these are middlin’-to-lowbrow niches, but just the same.
Exactly. Price isn’t really relevant when you think about these things…
Serge Lutens Borneo 1834. Yeah, buddy, that’s what I want to smell like: chocolate that’s been rubbed over my husband’s feet after a 12 mile run. NOT.
Lol. I think I might like your husband’s feet. Keep him away from me. I’m dangerous.
/
The only one I’ve never liked on myself was Frederic Malle’s Noir Epices, which just smelled faecal on me, but I sent to to a friend who said it was exactly the skank she’d been looking for, so it all turned out well.
Most of the things I’ve really loathed have been fairly mainstream - Poison, Giorgio, Angel and, the latest addition, Kylie Minogue Sweet Darling. I’ve never smelled the infamous Pink Sugar, but it can’t be sweeter than Sweet Darling, it just can’t! I guess I just don’t do tuberose or sugary scents.
Sweet Darling has a name schmaltzy enough to make me barf, as much as I think KM is quite alright as far as pop princesses go (not my thing, but she seems nice enough).
Noir epices is a big blank to me. A scent with nothing in the middle…
all that naughtiness with Noir Epices, and i can’t even smell it? arrrgh! (i mean, i can’t smell it … at all.)
i’m going to keep trying NE in the hopes that one day i can smell it, and its skank. each time i wear Bois des Iles, i can smell it just a bit more (after starting out smelling nothing), so maybe it’ll happen with NE.
i am nothing if not determined.
It’s a little underwatery blank for me too!
Well, Im an Arabie lover. And Im also an Incensi lover. So go figure. Oh, and I also adore Guerlain Pamplelune. Im strange that way. And Messe de Minuit - I love that one, too. Go ahead, just try to analyze me! I dare ya.
The only scent to ever grab me by the throat and throw me up against the wall thrashing was Tauer’s Orris. It was a vicious nasal assault, of which Im not yet fully recovered. Its probably a genius of a scent, but it wanted to kill me, Im sure of it. I wanted to call 911, but I forgot the number.
Your choice of images frightens the shit out of me today. Why couldn’t you have chosen lovely black and white tree photographs without leaves or more frost on the windows? I feel cheated.
I like to scare nice boys, is all
.
And I won’t analyse you, I’ll just admire your eclecticism (I had a sneaky peek at your pile on sniffapalooza - some haul, eh?)
Orris - oh it’s a comforting love to me. How strange we all are!
xx
Yes, we are strange. But oh, so marvelous !!
I have to agree!
Orris might be comforting to me if I was, say - Jim Jones. Or Charles Manson. But then It really is the only scent I dislike greatly - which apparently is more than you can say, Mr. Fickle.
You like my darlings all lined up in rows? Come over and play, anyday. I’ll make lemon cake.
Shame on you for lurking but not posting! I thought we talked about this…
I am fickle. Oh yes. In and out of love like a giddy kipper.
I love a good lemon cake. So I’ll take up that invite sometime. Now, as for lurking - it’s a time thing…
MD-more in common for us! Love Arabie, destroyed Orris (ask March, it was really really awful…so sad). Oh-check your FB messages…I’m coming up your way…
Beautiful!
See that? Its just meant to be, I guess…
Arabie on a hot summer day is the cure for what ails me, I tell ya!
Orris about made me take hostages. You win some and lose some.
I was just going to say that! She bought it unsniffed and said, it’s horrible! And I wanted it. So she put some on, and … dang. I can’t even describe it. It sort of … died in her. Died in a smells-dead way, not a vamoose-way.
Which worked out okay for me…
ok, so you love satanic anti-sacrament mildewy cat piss. sounds like you have some serious freudian issues …
also sounds like we might have a lot in common!
Gee, now I have to rethink your birthday gift…
But I thought it was all about the sequinned thong this year, and the 4 and zero semi-permament tattoos for either butt cheek.. No? That IS what you promised me!
We don’t do “semi-permanent”
I can’t believe the spam filter doesn’t catch you two!!!
Oh, you love it!
i dare you to put the sequined thong pix online.
double-dare you!!!
I’m not sure I can be responsible for that much sickness leave…
Other than that Secretions one (was that supposed to be vile?), the one that comes immediately to my mind is Bandit. I kept thinking it would get better…but it just got worse! In my book, Bandit has to be Fracas’ wicked stepsister!
I love your post!
Hugs!
I imagine it *was* supposed to be vile, but in some French playful way. All the in-the-know perfume people talked about its successful use of a particular aromachemical (skalene? skankene? Skatcreme?) for the first time, or somesuch…
skatcreme?! Oh behave!
Im still convinced that entire scent is a giant april fools day joke, and they’re just waiting to tell us.
Its the only scent that I can’t see anyone actually purchasing for their own use, other than maybe as a room spray at a motel just for kicks before they check-out.
Maybe leaving a puddle of it in the bathroom?
absolutely. At a motel in Texas without air conditioning if they’re really cruel.
really? Bandit? it smells great on me (i think!) or are you talking about SM?
Bandit on me = fresh leaves and grass, then some flowers, then a nice chypre base with a touch of leather. that’s it.
(note to self: change out “isobutyl quinoline” in my perfume notes with term “skatcreme.”)
In addition to the above-mentioned Haramens, there’s 2 other lurking horrors that I should add: TDC’s Rose Poivre, and SL Gris Clair. Rose Poivre turns to stinky man-crack on me faster than the alcohol can evaporate! And Gris Clair becomes rancid butter. Interesting in the bottle, but rancid butter on the skin nonetheless.
Gris Clair I just find a little suffocating. Rose Poivree can either be peppered perfection or rear end smearing. Depends on the day.
I’m terribly sorry for that horrendous image. I know not everyone likes pepper, even when perfect…
OIC! Sloppy reading.:”> Never smelled the MpG (thought it was odd that someone could have a hate on for the lovely Hermes)
Sloppy posting, too! this should go under Lee’s reply to me.![:-\](http://perfumeposse.com/smilies/yahoo_question.gif ":-\")
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Nothing wrong with the odd bit of sloppy.
every time i reply to somebody here, i have to hit reply twice, or it’ll just post randomly at the bottom. i thought it was just my crappy internet explorer…