Road Trip!!! a Draw and some Musings on Hogs

Well!  Labor Day Weekend is upon us, so prepare for a Lame-o post.  It’s time for the Hog Days Parade – I don’t know if I wrote about this last year but, after nearly a decade of Never Going to Hog Days I got thrown in the deep end of the fryer, courtesy of my gal pals who grew up in Kewanee (at one time it was Hog Capital of the World, so it is said) .

They are huge local boosters so do All the Stuff, with Hog Days being #1. They spend weeeeks building a float, the theme of which is kept secret until we all meet up at the warehouse.  It’s absolutely charming.   The whole town pretty much shuts down, even the places not affected by the fair – everybody turns out.  Lots of funnel cake and beer and I go because I love these gals – because ew: stale grease, beer, flip flops, flop sweat and tipsy girls sitting on the curb in shorts, crying.  But it’s One Day – Saturday – in the blazing sun, on a float (yes.  you read that right.  A Float.  I’m desperately hoping that one year they make me wear a silk robe because That Look?  I can channel my Inner Blanche and sashay the living hell out of it. Maybe they’ll give me a tiara and a scepter. Or an eye mask.   A gal can dream.

– whatever it is, it sure beats wearing the pig costume their cousin wears Every Damb Year.  Omg.  90F and you’re on a float, in the sun, in a fleece pig costume  – complete with Giant Plastic Head)

92F at the parade. NINETY TWO!

Interestingly – Hog Days Hog Chow?   They only sell pork burgers.  I was salivating at the thought of interesting cuts of pork – or even a Rib Contest.  I mean… it’s HOG DAYS!    Alas, no.  Very weird – then again, this is not about the actual pork.  It’s the Parade, the Fair (with those rides (and the ropy guys with no teeth who set them up and the girls mooning over them because they don’t already have enough guys with no teeth around there)  Those rides terrify my OSHA soul.  Last year I was chided for checking out the rides’ components – ‘You are sucking all the fun out of it!’ – yeah, well, getting flung off the Ferris Wheel and landing on the railroad tracks is really gonna suck the fun (and the life) out of it.

Get off my lawn!  And my Ferris Wheel.

Sunday M. Jacques and I get up a o’dark-thirty (light is changing NOT IN MY FAVOR and it’s getting more difficult to get going and all I want to do is cry) – we’re on our way to Kentucky!  I can smell the stables already – oh, wait.  That’s the Sale Barn, here, a block away.  Kentucky thoroughbreds Do Not Smell.

Sweet hay, uber-pricey horse sweat, gorgeous, pristine stables that are worth more than this entire town …that’s a gorgeous scent blend.   I am not bringing any perfume because it’s early September in Kentucky! I’ll smell like Hawaiian Tropic SPF 30, in all its coconutty, suntanny goodness.  (sidenote:  guys LOVE that smell. Gals, too!  go figure).  I’ll be in the pool.  Or in my sister’s closet (which is why I’m going down – she’s wanting the place organized before she brings in an organizer.   Huh.  I’d probably be the same way.)

Dunno when we’ll head back – sometime next week.  It’s all part of my Calm the Hell Down project – no real reason to plan this like the Normandy Invasion, so I’mo just let it perk along until I start to smell like a fish.  Then we’ll hightail it back on the road.

Whazzup with you?  Any Labor Day plans (if you don’t celebrate, let M. Jacques know what your weekend was like.  He’ll pull a WIN !!

See???  Toldja it was a lame-o post!  Love you all, hope you had a great weekend!


  • AnnnieA says:

    We had some badly-needed rain on Saturday, but how we long for the end of forest fire season. Bought loose leaf tea at Murchies as even there the bagged tea is mediocre.

  • Maggiecat says:

    I enjoyed reading the post too, so there! When you’re retired, as I am, pretty much all every day is a holiday! I got some housework done, some laundry, bathed the dog, went to church, and generally had a peaceful time.
    And y’all have to come here for the North Texas State Fair! We fry things, even things you wouldn’t think should be fried (like pho, butter, ice cream, coffee….)

  • Christine says:

    I love a weird fair, but lord. I feel like late September/early October is a better time to celebrate hogs while not sweating your tush off.

  • Dina C. says:

    Here in Virginia our temperatures are getting close to 100 degrees all this week, so we are living indoors in AC land, except for my DH who loves to take a long, sweaty walk every day. We watched the granddog this weekend for our daughter while she was out of town — always fun. Reinhardt says HI to Jacques! The hog celebration doesn’t sound like a barrel of laughs, but I love to organize, so your trip to KY sounds great. Love horses, too!!

  • March says:

    Love a county fair, one of my favorite events when the kids were little (which is when I went) is the pig races haha. The event was a fun reminder that our HUGE county just outside Washington, D.C. still had large rural parts. I can imagine being on a float would be loads of fun, but not in a heavy costume in the heat!

  • rosarita says:

    Labor Day? I labored. An all day laundry event including ironing, all on a hot day. I loved your post! You know where I live….pigs are big here. At our county fair (one of the largest in the Midwest) the 4H Swine Club serves boneless bbq pork chop sandwiches that honestly melt in your mouth. Sorry about the pork burgers!
    I thought of Tom yesterday as I had Busby Berkeley musicals from the 30s as my laundry background entertainment. Dames and Footlight Parade, both full of amazing dancing. Perfect distraction.

    • Dina C. says:

      I love those old school musicals full of dancing and gaiety. That’s a great idea. I have a heap of ironing I need to do!!

    • Tom says:

      Oh I love those crazy old musicals. I even loved the opening of the second Indiana Jones movie (though didn’t love what came after) which was the first movie I say at Graumann’s (then Mann’s) Chinese Theater.

  • Lemoncake says:

    Musette your post reminded me of attending the Jackson, OH Apple Festival at least 1000 years ago. Bob Evans is apparently from Jackson…..They had floats and Bob Evans rode on one of the floats and waved to the crowd. Labor Day weekend was uneventful for me but I managed to clean out a closet – 3 bags to Goodwill!

  • alityke says:

    I was waiting for the whole roast hog, rib competition & possibly the prettiest pig. Prettiest pig to offset toothless carnie travellers.
    That pink pig costume must HONK!

  • cinnamon says:

    This was a fun read but no, no, no on pigs/hogs. Really really not my thing. Loved carnivals and state fairs in the US but this sets my twitch-o-meter on overdrive. You get fields of pig ‘houses’ here — look like post-apocolyptic cities. If that was you in the pink costumer, very fetching. But, I hope you had vents.

  • Portia says:

    OMG! Is that YOU up there on the float in the pink pig costume Musette?
    What perfume do you wear to be a velour piggy?
    Portia xx

  • Tom says:

    Well I enjoyed reading it so it ain’t lame-o..

    The idea of riding the float with that costume on in that heat would make me run amok. But those county fairs are fun. The Ferris wheel, etc., I’m none too sure about. I’d guess that with larger fairs they’re inspected but I’d still be terrified it would go all dePalma on me and I’d be like an extra in “The Fury”- me and the gondola sailing into the nearest hot dog stand and exploding.

    Good on you for visiting the relative AND doing chores for them.

    Labor Day was Lazy day for me. It rained Saturday (not as much as at Burning Man, but..) so I hung out. Yesterday did some errands and today dragged my lazy butt out and walked around. LA was dead- it was like Covid times. Awful of me but I sort of enjoyed it.