When I went to Sniffa in October, I went a day early so I could go to CB I Hate Perfume in Brooklyn.  I met a couple gals there, and we sniffed all sorts of fun things.

But it was his Wildflower Honey that entranced me.  Later that night, in the movie theater as I watched Coco before Chanel, I inhaled the sweet, musky honey smell like a force field – the weather that weekend in New York was dreadful (is this the Winter of Dreadful Weather?) and I was sick-ish.  The golden smell of Wildflower Honey made all the pain go away.

But I’d been in a hurry and hadn’t bought a bottle, so I ordered one up when I got home.  It arrived and … it just wasn’t the same.   Whatever they make “honey” scents out of, as many of you already know, can go wrong in all sorts of directions – total anosmia, or boxwood (aka “cat pee,”) or the smell that we on the Posse delicately refer to as “sperm.”  (Yup – it must be March posting this morning, although Lee’s giving me a run for my money.)   In fact it was Lee and I who laughed at the intense spunk note (is anyone still reading?) in Santa Maria Novella’s Acqua di Cuba.  Here, let me quote from their website: This masculine scent, with a pleasing mix of tobacco and leather has decisive and dry undertones. The perfect gift for a man. And if you’re a manly man who wants to smell like sperm, well, Cuba’s your scent.  (Okay, okay, it smells perfectly normal, a honeyed tobacco smell, on/to all sorts of people.)

Back on topic:  I emailed CB (yes, I know him.  He speaks to me.  And I bought my bottle at full retail.) and described the problem.  He sent me another bottle which he mixed himself.  And … FAIL.  Utter, utter fail.  Let me emphasize that he couldn’t have been nicer and more helpful about it, and we had a long, interesting exchange about the ways that weather, and the fact that I was sick, could have affected my perception.  The upshot, though, is that I have a bottle of Wildflower Honey that I can only smell the ghostly edges of, as if I were seeing the outline of a shape and none of the sculptural detail.  It’s very frustrating.

So I did what any rational person would do, which is buy a full bottle of Serge Lutens Miel de Bois.  There have been rumors forever that MdB was going to be axed; surely it must be the least popular of the line?  But it lives on, although the most recent news from Helg at Perfume Shrine is that they’re pulling it, along with Santal Blanc, Chypre Rouge, and Douce Amà¨re, from the export line.  According to The Perfumed Court, Miel de Bois is “a sensuous woody Oriental scent with notes of ebony, oak, gaiac, aquilaria aguillocha (used to make incense sticks) and honey all resting on base notes of beeswax, iris and hawthorn.”

I tried MdB when I was first getting to know the house o’ Serge, and I hated MdB with a passion.  I thought it was one of the thickest, furriest, most unpleasantly strange things I’d ever smelled.  And because of that, and some part of it, after all the hideousness, that got its hooks into me, I kept trying and trying and trying.  And for me, well, once I tried it, we were pretty much done with other perfumes for the day.  It was all I could do to live through that one.

And then awhile ago, I fell for it.  I don’t want to say I “got it” because that would imply some awakening of a higher intellectual plane of understanding, or some such.  I put it on, and I put up with the first bits, which are hawthorne-y on me and, okay, a hair rough – that magnolia/Cheeto smell that’s a bit like rancid butter.  But after that?  It’s like standing in the warm embrace of the sun.  In heaven.  While angels play their harps.  And etc.  I totally understand why many, many people are honey-haters in perfumery.  But if you’re a honey-lover, IMO you haven’t walked the walk unless you’ve tried Miel de Bois.

Here, let me quote from TS in The Guide – “animalic floral,” one crummy star.  And here’s why:  “Phenylacetic acid smells like honey in dilution, like urine at concentration.  Miel de Bois (honey of wood) gets the balance drastically wrong and smells like a New York sidewalk in July.  A very small percentage of people find it floral and don’t know why the rest of us are howling.”

A full bottle of Miel de Bois will last me until the sun explodes, I’d imagine.  And the ride is pretty different if you dab vs. spray.  Dabbing takes away from some of the terror, but let’s face it – you’re making a commitment here, putting this on.  Go Big or Go Home.  You have to spray.  Because although you get the worst – really, that buttery, furry part at the beginning is a bit much – you also get the best when you spray – the sweetest part of the honey itself, the part right in the center that smells the way a drop of excellent honey would taste on your tongue – and I never get that unless I spray it.

I feel guilty wearing it out; I wonder if people around me think I’ve wet myself, even though that’s not how it smells to me.   On the plus side, if I sidle up to the girls six or eight hours after spraying, they spontaneously exclaim that I smell wonderful, so it can’t all be in my imagination.  If you get it on your clothes, it will be there until they disintegrate.  I’m just saying.

And now… I really want to try it layered with Santal Blanc on one arm, and Fleurs d’Oranger on the other.  But I’ve had a sinus headache and I’m too scared that the combination on the wrong day would be so punishing I’d never want to smell MdB again.  My personal bet is that MdB might well bury SB, but if it worked, it could be magic.  I’m thinking FdO + MdB would be astonishing – orange-flower honey! – unless it makes me retch and reach for the Liquid Tide.  What say you?  Does anyone else layer Lutens?  And I’m talking the ballsier ones, not Clair de Musc (which I put on almost everything, if it needs some sparkle.)

UPDATE: okay, I layered MdB and FdO, which is like inviting Genghis Khan and Godzilla over for dinner; who’s going to die first?  As it turns out, Genghis and Godzilla are quite the conversationalists.  It’s two parts FdO to one part MdB, and nobody wanted to sit next to me at dinner, but my god, it’s gorgeous.  FdO suppresses the Cheeto-feet of MdB nicely, and that honey really works with the orange blossom while muting the cumin-y note at the top of FdO that bothers some folks (although not me.)

PS.  For folks interested in honey, there are links to my earlier honey posts here and here.  Also, we’re having an image upload FAIL, so until we get that resolved, you’ll have to imagine a nice photo up there.

Source: full, wrapped bottle of MdB purchased from eBay seller in Canada; private sample of FdO.

March

When one sets out to narrow down to six perfumes her favorites, what she should do instead is grab a Xanax,  place her head under the pillow, hold it down firmly so nobody hears and scream until the mood passes.

But I didn´t. Instead I have come up with the list of the six perfumes that I cannot live without, under any circumstances, and which best define who I am or want to pretend to be. So they may or may not be the perfumes that I admire most as great creations, though I think all on this list are that, but they are the ones most beautiful to me. The agonies of discarding beloved perfumes from this list has been horrible. Warning, there are a couple of incidences of cheating to narrow this down…

1. Ormonde Woman. Full-bodied green velvet -think Miss Ellen´s Poitiers from Gone with The Wind, after they got made into that beautiful green gown for Scarlett. A little saucy and tart, makes you pucker sometimes, not sure if you like it or not, but inevitably its charm wears you down. Parfum version preferred, it just amps up the annoyance and the charm.

2. Guerlain Aprà¨s L´ondee. Melancholy, regretful, but completely full of hope. It is sorrow at 1,000 yards, where you can look at it and appreciate the exquisite pain without really feeling it. The numb place before the real pain sets in or after it has gone. EDT or parfum will work.

3. Le Labo Patchouli 24/Vanille 44 – Okay, this is a cheat, I know, I know! But they GO together, kids! A spritz of Patch down the front of your shirt for depth and tarry resonance and a couple of spritzes of Vanille over your outer clothes and in your hair creates a cloud of woody vanilla over that tar - truly the most amazing and comforting scent in the world.

4. Christian Dior Dorling vintage parfum. What a cold, unfeeling thing it starts off as, and you´re thinking it has no soul; it´s finicky, much too churlish and standoffish to love. That´s when Dorling brings the magic. It warms not into the most beautiful girl in the room, but the most interesting, the one you have to stop and pay attention to, sit and talk with. Anthropomorphize much? Well, this perfume seems completely human to me, and she never fails to amaze me.

5. CB Cradle of Light/Strange Invisible Perfumes Lady Day/Serge Lutens Sarrasins. Yes, I´m cheating, but any of these three could fit here, and any day will have me changing my mind. They are gorgeous jasmine treatments, and each stuns me and can keep me mesmerized all day with its beauty - sort of a hypnotic sniffing loop.  Everyone has to have a jasmine on their list, unless you hate jasmine, but you should get over it and put one on your list anyway… or three.

6. Serge Lutens Iris Silver Mist. Give me that overabundance of cold, rooty iris with a dollop of spice in the drydown, and I´ll give you my unadorned and complete, lavish devotion for a lifetime.  Genius, brilliant, and a joy to wear on any day of the year.

While I started off with a list of five, I had to expand it to six because none of these would exit the list. Now, as I read comments, I will find my head exploding as you guys mention perfumes that should be on this list, and there is a subset of about 100 perfumes that go beneath these that I also can´t live without, but these are the list of six´ish that I will have in embarrassing amounts for all of my life.

What´s your six?

Annoying American Idol part of Friday:  Ramiele is GONE, yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mop-up items:  Winner of the Indult C16 and CdG Hinoki samples are:  Tom (tmp00) and Six.  Just click on Contact us over on the left, and send me you address and I’ll ship you the samples! 

Patty

Item One: Sniffa attendees — you should all have gotten your email itineraries. I didn’t realize it was such a full schedule. What say we try to hook up during the two-hour cocktail deal Saturday night (6:30 – 8:30) at BlueMercury, assuming we haven’t met already? Everyone in the Posse wears a scarf or bandanna? How does that sound? I’m thinking about wearing a tiara. Too much?

Okay, today’s post. Maria sent me a package — with a typed letter, organizing her thoughts. I thought it would be fun sharing it with you.

“Dear March,

Here are a few things in various categories.

Some Scents You May Not Yet Know

Comptoir Sud Pacifique Thé EDP, discontinued several years ago. “Don´t worry about your blood sugar level! CSP used to produce some fragrances with character. Lapsang souchong is at the base of this strong scent. Warning: this is the most powerful sillage monster we own. Very hard to find, I understand.” March says: wow, that´s beautiful. I get a camphorous lapsang opening, then straight into a sweet-tea and other interesting bits (suede and musk?) This is reminding me of something, a men’s scent with tobacco? I can’t think of what and it’s driving me nuts.

Fendi Theorema (shimming body lotion) and Esprit d´Ete (EDT) – “Less complex and not as deep as our beloved Theorema, this summer version is a nice fragrance in its own right. Imagination Perfumery sells it for $16.99 while supplies last. The lotion puts down a subtle golden shimmer. I wonder if the plasticky quality of the scent comes from the tube it was packaged in.” March says: I see this online occasionally dirt cheap and never bought it. Smelling this summer version of Theorema I realized: Theorema ruined light, sweet orange blossom scents for me forever. The stunning beauty of Theorema´s dark, almost liquored, spicy candied orange peel has made almost every other orange scent seem pale and soapy. Here, let me list regular Theorema´s notes just so I can drool on my keyboard: nutmeg, pepper, orange, rosewood, rose, ylang-ylang, carnation, cinnamon, labdanum, patchouli, sandalwood, benzoin. There – are you drooling too? Anyway, I can´t find the notes for Esprit d´Ete, but it´s a much lighter, much less spicy, more linear orange scent — a good choice for someone who likes the slightly powdery, soapy floral sweetness of orange blossom rather than the sweet-tart acidity of the fruit. That regular Theorema body lotion, though – ugh. It smells like mildew to me.

Trussardi Jeans EDT “At first I liked this. Then I thought it was meh. I can´t decide.” March says: Wait … this is a men´s fragrance? It smells like heliotrope! Hang on … researching … oh, okay, this must be the women´s. Notes: green notes, fruits, almond, violet, tuberose, white lily, heliotrope, musk, vanilla and woods. I do think it´s pretty, a delicate powdery scent. It´s got a nice, light musk, and it´s a little bready, which I also like. Too much powder for my taste, but you powdery comfort-scent people might love this, and it´s a screaming deal online.

Scents I Cannot Hack and I´m Not Ashamed to Admit It

CB Musk Reinvention absolute “It asked me to send it to March.” March says: That´s because it knows it´s coming home to the Mother Ship. It can sit next to my own personal bottle of CB Musk Reinvention on the shelf, which I keep in its special airtight container designed to keep the XXXL skank from tainting everything around it. One of the very few scents I´ve seen people sniff and literally jerk their heads away from, like they´ve been bitten. Can I say I think it´s beautiful?

Ormonde Jayne Ormonde Woman “It will be more appreciated by you. I hate it violently.” Notes: Cardamom, coriander, grass oil, black hemlock, violet, jasmine absolute, vetiver, sandalwood, cedarwood, amber (and thank you Basenotes, I missed you!) March says: Wow. Oh, wow. Having tried this several times, I´d already typed a lead-in sentence about admiring OJ Woman´s masculine beauty while finding it unwearable – the only one of the OJ line I´ve not been able to love. Then I popped open the vial. You just never know, do you? Because all my murky Black Forest fears with this one, that primeval bit that creeps me out just enough that I can´t relax and enjoy it, seem to have vanished, replaced by something still dark but playful – a fairy tale involving an evil witch but with a happy ending. I still wouldn´t spray this thing on with abandon – on me it´s very strong, definitely a dabber. That resin/urine note which I´m guessing is hemlock can be (interestingly) modified by adding a dab of CB Black March, although it sounds a little sacrilegious to me, layering an OJ, frankly. It´s like touching up a masterpiece. I keep doing the first fifteen minutes over and over again, just for that rush of spicy violet. I wish the drydown were a tad sweeter, but nonetheless. I feel like I´ve finally gained admittance into some exclusive club.

Rochas Femme edp “I’m glad you like the reformulation more than I do.” March says: what, too much armpit? I have the vintage too, and it´s gorgeous, but a completely different scent, a woody chypre. The cumin in Femme was apparently added to try to achieve the same kind of shock level. I find the combination of cumin and the macerated peachy sweetness quite seductive.

Parfums de Nicolai Maharanih EDP “You´d think it would be my sort of thing. It isn´t.” March says: and I am surprised, because I would think it´s your sort of thing. I did a brief impression of Maharanih on my PdN post here, and can I say yet again what a woefully underappreciated line PdN is in my opinion, due in no small part to the fact that you almost never see them in a retail location? Clyde´s Pharmacy on Madison Ave. in NYC has some, but I have never seen them anywhere else outside the PdN store in London. Maharanih´s notes are orange essence and bitter orange peel, rose essence, carnation, cinnamon, patchouli, sandalwood, civet. Interestingly, this doesn´t even register to my nose as particularly orange-y – it´s a spicy pomander type of scent, unsweet, and that woody civet base combined with the florals is lovely. Some of the PdNs wear a bit sharp on me, but considering what an unusual flaw that is in current perfumery – not sweet enough! – I´m not going to complain about it. March the Maleficent decrees: everyone should love at least one PdN. I´m very fond of this and Balkis Light, which of course is impossible to find. Maria, I wonder if you like any of the others better? Have you tried Eau Exotique? New York? I know there are some PdN nuts on here!

Anyway, Maria, thanks very much for reminding me why I love perfume, and the people who love perfume.

cartridge wrappers: sullivanpress.com

March